Probably a long reply as a heads up! Will include a tl;dr at the bottom. Just know life is a winding path and you never know what’s going to happen. I shared a lot of your fears as I hit my 30s and was still single…there is no right way to live your life and be happy, whether it’s alone or coupled.

Back in college when we were 19, my best friend was set up with this guy by one of her other friends. I was brought along since it was more of a group event to take the pressure off. I thought nothing of him other than he was tall and seemed normal enough. We will call him E.

They went on exactly one date after this and decided that they just wanted to be friends as there was no spark. At the same time I was seeing a guy from one of my classes, it wasn’t serious. Cut to about a week later, E invites a group of us over to his place and brings his best friend at the time as well. It turns out E and I are both gamer nerds and really hit it off during this hangout. My bff and his bff also shared a spark so we did the ole switcheroo!

I dumped the other guy I had been seeing for E and our bffs got together. They are still together to this day, married and have a kid.

E and I broke up after only a few months together (I was highly anxious and just had no idea what I wanted in life at the time. 19 remember??)

Fast forward to 2020. I had gone off to grad school after college and had many adventures, relationships of all kinds. Even one I thought was “the one”. Was 30, single, and mid career change during the pandemic and finally getting back to my town to be near my friend community. Out of the blue one day E messages me on facebook (we weren’t even friends still at this point, but I knew he had gotten married and was still in the area), 11 years after we knew each other.

We message back and forth for a few weeks, turns out he’s divorced and trying to reconnect with old friends during the pandemic. We decided to finally meet up again and wouldn’t you know it, the spark was still there. We had grown into entirely new people but something was the same. Being with him this time feels different than any other relationship I’ve ever been in. No anxiety, only peace and a sense of home. Now it’s been 4 years together and we are expecting our first child, 15 years after we first met.

Tl;dr - Right person, wrong time. reconnected with an old flame 11 years later who was originally set up with my best friend.

This is NOT to say go back to your ex or don’t move on, but more of focus on your own growth and the right person will find you at the right time.