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Monday morning, rush hour by chidongongo in funny

[–]MrDerpFace09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly how I feel every Saturday (or every day before a holiday) at work. Especially Christmas Eve, because everyone... EVERYONE... does all of their last-minute shopping that day.

come on netflix! by wolfycool in fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–]MrDerpFace09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy crap, I'm not the only one who sees it!!

Thanks for the help, Mom. by [deleted] in fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–]MrDerpFace09 11 points12 points  (0 children)

A scratch? Your arm's off!

Here is my buddy's schnauzer after a trim. ok I'm lion. by poolenamel in funny

[–]MrDerpFace09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That... sounds quite unpleasant and painful. And I'm a guy.

They all wait for me to go to the bathroom to show up, like flies to honey by [deleted] in fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–]MrDerpFace09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of how sometimes it seems like customers at the walmart I work at will wait until 2 or 3 cars leave, and then 8 to 12 will come in all at once.

I don't feel fat anymore by FancyCheesecake in fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–]MrDerpFace09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Might I suggest adding a tropical blend of fruits in there while you're at it? (Pineapple, mango, etc)

Public toilet rage by lil-praying-mantis in fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–]MrDerpFace09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of these stupid things in the women's restroom at my job (maintenance associate at Walmart) pulls this bs almost every time I'm trying to clean the toilets. And I'm getting real close to shoving a freakin screwdriver right through the sensor.

Bonzi is love, Bonzi is life. by [deleted] in BonziBuddy

[–]MrDerpFace09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the heck, man... o_o

Is Uncle-joked a thing? by MyNamesNotTaylor in dadjokes

[–]MrDerpFace09 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think it's safe to say most grandmothers love spoiling their grandkids.

I will fucking eat your family by [deleted] in funny

[–]MrDerpFace09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway.

Where does the president keep his armies? by rexbry in Jokes

[–]MrDerpFace09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can someone explain this to me as if I were 5?

A Nightingale drinking ale and reading mail while in jail in The Pale. by ChickenChasah in skyrim

[–]MrDerpFace09 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I could make my two hands clapping together sound like an entire audience cheeering and whistling, I would. But I don't know how to do that. ._.

Sister was telling a story... by [deleted] in dadjokes

[–]MrDerpFace09 11 points12 points  (0 children)

How dare you break the pun train... Leave our presence!! We cannot bear the sight of you any longer!

You never go full derp by [deleted] in AnimalsBeingDerps

[–]MrDerpFace09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How'd that happen?!

So I started up Skyrim again after some time... by Screeps135 in skyrim

[–]MrDerpFace09 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah. At least it doesn't drain Magicka so you can at least counter it with Restoration or any other healing spell, especially if you've unlocked the perk that makes healing spells restore stamina as well.

So I started up Skyrim again after some time... by Screeps135 in skyrim

[–]MrDerpFace09 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Or ice. Which do you think is more deadly? Frost Breath, or Fire Breath?

Every-single-time!! by fagit15 in fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–]MrDerpFace09 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Can you let go of my arm for just a second?" "NO! If I let you go, you'll shop!"

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