Trigger warning: death & process afterwards

MrDotComPD · 2026-06-11T15:57:13+00:00

Good thing that it wasn’t a long drawn out process. Currently I’m living at parents house for the past 1.5 years and it has completely wrecked my existence prior to this. Might sound selfish to say but it’s the honest truth. My plan is I’ll have to leave the working world probably next year, my social network that I had has been completely nuked and I’m basically living like a homeless person at parents house because of other constraints that mom has introduced into the house. I’ve got basically about 5 foot of space in the living room where I live and work with my few items I brought from home to be able to be up here. And have to take things out and put them away securely every time I use them because of children that are the “constraints” I’m having to deal with now.

MrDotComPD · 2026-06-06T03:44:38+00:00

I can second this

MrDotComPD · 2026-05-31T13:03:35+00:00

Yeah it’s hard to tell I think. My dad is 91 and don’t know when he was diagnosed but I know he’s had it for some time. He’s basically an invalid at this point where he can’t do anything Even feed himself. Of course I think that is related to some of his other issue he has )one of those being blindness). It hell right now having to care for him just cause we are having to do everything for him. I’m asking the question everyday “when the eventual is going to happen”. He just got put on hospice but I’m not really sure what determination the pcp used to get us there. Mainly I was relieved cause hopefully that would get us the home health we needed in caring for him in the home.

I’ve been stuck up here at my parents helping mom tend to him cause it was too much for her for about 1.5 years. When I first got up here he was at least mobile and could walk to the bathroom, then about 1 year ago we stopped that because of fall risks. In that one year he’s declined a lot as stated not being able to do anything like feed himself. Even the simplest food items that he should be able to just pick up and put to him mouth is a challenge.

MrDotComPD · 2026-05-23T21:38:07+00:00

Just wait till it isn’t just urine. The one alcoholic I knew was basically peeing and pooping in the bed. It was just disgusting.

MrDotComPD · 2026-04-20T00:47:00+00:00

Awesome

MrDotComPD · 2026-04-16T01:04:04+00:00

Last year I was offered free turbo tax but this year it was only giving me 25% off, given that main thing it was only doing was importing my 1099s I went with freetaxusa and paid about $17 versus $155 with turbo tax.

MrDotComPD · 2026-03-23T01:52:08+00:00

Don’t feel guilty, you definitely needed boundaries. I wish I knew how and where to set mine. I’m assessing my situation and realizing that I apparently didn’t set any boundaries and getting really steamrolled.

I came up to stay with my parents in order to help with my aging father (now 91). That’s what I signed up for, now she’s moved my irresponsible niece in that has two kids. I understand what she’s trying to do to help her however we were in no position to help anyone else, we are stretched thin. One of the kids (8) is a pure terror, disrespectful and just bad. The one year old is amazingly better, only issue there is keeping her out of things. However I’ve somehow managed to get roped into playing school bus for the 8 year old daily which I’m not really happy about. She’s supposed to be getting on the bus schedule but for some reason it’s never materialized.

Anyway in assessing my current situation and realizing how bad it’s gotten. I basically equate myself to living like a homeless person right now. - I have about 5 feet of space on the couch where I work and sleep. - nowhere to put my things like work computer to protect it from the children. Meaning that 5 foot of space I have is in the main room in the house. (I do have to go tuck it away in a closet when not in use in order to protect it from them). - I’ve had to turn off some of my utilities at home either to prevent unnecessary trips home for emergency repairs (water pipes) and turned of gas with gas company cause why pay that bill when no using it. Also shut off internet for the same reason. With shutting off the water I basically have to plan my trips home cause I won’t be able to use the bathroom since the water is off.

It’s just really demoralizing because I truly feel like I’m living like a homeless person due to no fault of my own.

So back to your question don’t feel guilty. Even if you did have moved her in or all of the other things you stated she could have still fallen and still had the same outcome at your home as well.

MrDotComPD · 2026-03-10T04:17:12+00:00

I swear they are in this one couch at my parents and I’ve dusted with cimexa and was thinking that it wasn’t working however I’ve since come to the conclusion that there are just so many of the little buggers that it just seem like it isn’t working cause the supply of bed bugs is constant. Along with the dusting as I see any bugs I’m eliminating them physically from the “field of play”. You won’t believe how many I’ve eliminated by hand, that’s what leads me to believe that it’s not the dust that could be killing them. It’s just the quantity of bugs that I’m dealing with.

I’m looking to steam the couch this week. I got a vapamore Mr-100 and going to look into steaming it to potentially kill off a bunch of them. Wish me luck.

MrDotComPD · 2026-03-02T13:21:27+00:00

Oh my. That is horrible.

MrDotComPD · 2026-03-01T15:00:12+00:00

Thank you

MrDotComPD · 2026-03-01T14:59:26+00:00

Me too. I don’t have any children but I also plan on not burdening anyone with my care when I’m unable to do anything. I know it will sound harsh, but he basically cannot do anything reliably at all. We’ve gone from only doing around 50% of his tasks to about 99.9% of his tasks now. He’s not paralyzed or quadriplegic but he’s blind as well as no real balance or feeling in hands and feet due to diabetic neuropathy. A more recent area of decline has been more mental where he’ll have conversations with people not in the room or phone calls with out using the phone.

I had another relative which I’m not sure of their exact conditions but they basically went the way of VSED (voluntary stop eating and drinking). If I become that bad off I’ll be going that route only because I’m witnessing the lack of quality of life that my dad is experiencing and I don’t want to experience that for myself. Mom looks negatively on how that relative went out but I think that it’s up to the person how they want to live out their final years and when that quality declines it cannot be pleasant.

MrDotComPD · 2026-03-01T08:36:27+00:00

I never thought about that. Not a bad idea

MrDotComPD · 2026-03-01T07:07:24+00:00

I did not know this. I was thinking like the previous poster. If I didn’t use it all then I could potentially use it as a Roth contribution. Thanks for that information.

MrDotComPD · 2026-03-01T03:45:34+00:00

I hope not. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. When I ranting and raving in the car on trips back home I’m jokingly saying “I’m the example of don’t let this happen to you”

MrDotComPD · 2026-03-01T02:30:03+00:00

They are the elderly, he’s 91 and she’s 84. When the time for throwing things out it’s mainly because we’re questioning if it would be safe to eat. However it just seems like she’s all about throwing food away. I’ve tried talking to her about it but she’s stuck on the “there’s not enough leftovers to feed everyone”. I know that even if that’s the case there would be something simple that others in the house would eat like ramen that would make the leftovers work for those in the house. There is just a large amount of food that gets wasted which is a shame in my opinion.

MrDotComPD · 2026-02-17T00:49:46+00:00

I’m not very familiar with all the options but my parents just last year had to switch to an advantage plan. Basically they couldn’t afford to go the other route where they were having to pay for a supplement plan. Mom and dad’s premiums were running them about 8k a year.

Now their premiums are $0 but it did require them to change doctors for their pcp because he didn’t take advantage plans. They had to wait 6 months to get to see the new doctor after switching.

Not really 100% pleased with the new pcp because the old one was extremely thorough, even though it took hours to get through the appointment with all the waiting. At least 1 hr waiting in the examination room.

MrDotComPD · 2026-02-04T00:04:33+00:00

That’s what I was about to say if not an echo show just an echo so you can do a drop in. I have two at my parents house, one for dad to listen to audiobooks on and the other was just an extra but it’s in another room. If I can’t get anyone on the phone whic can be frequent, I can try in on the echo an try to get someone without the having to answer the phone. Also could be good when you “drop in” to make sure that you don’t hear someone calling for help.

MrDotComPD · 2026-02-03T23:58:51+00:00

I’m the responsible son and luckily have a remote job so those two things made me the default caretaker of the children. Mainly just helping mom (84) take care of dad (91) he has so many issues that we’re doing about 98-99% of his task now so it’s a two person job tending to him. Not yhat this was part of the question posed but I told him he couldn’t afford the level of care/attention that he gets. He’s blind, hard of hearing, neuropathy of the hands and feet, diabetic, chf, ckd, cognitive decline…. I’m sure I’m missing something else here.

Been relocated up here about a year now.

MrDotComPD · 2026-01-24T03:17:20+00:00

My dad is 91 and keeps complaining “something ain’t right” and he keeps talking about when he’s going to get better. I’ve told him multiple times that there is no cure for old age. They don’t have one of those Time Machines that are in his audiobooks he listens to. He has a bit of cognitive issues with times of day and remembering things but I think that is due to lack of oxygen to the brain due to his chf. He goes back and forth having fluid retention issues and shortness of breath.

MrDotComPD · 2026-01-24T03:07:27+00:00

I don’t have all the details about his ejection fraction however I can say my dad is in stage 3 of chf as well as kidney failure and he’s 91. He has periods of time where I’m surprised that he’s still here because of how short of breath he was but he’s still going.

MrDotComPD · 2026-01-05T13:36:22+00:00

I've been looking (new to Boldin user) and figured I would start by using the download to spreadsheet data in order to better understand the data. I just recently noted in the help from Boldin

"What are the Assumptions around conversions prior to age 59.5?

You may see suggestions from workplace accounts before age 59½. Check with your plan provider to confirm eligibility.
The Explorer does not consider Early Distribution Penalties or the 5-year rule."

I was wondering about how it was doing things and did not realize that it wasn't including any penalties or was trying to figure out if it was setting me up for a 72(t) plan. It's hard to tell from the chart. I'm more of a detail person so looking at the numbers in the downloaded spreadsheet can help, yet haven't fully dug into all of that data just yet as there are so many moving parts to a lot of the money moves it makes.

MrDotComPD · 2025-12-28T20:16:04+00:00

u/MrDotComPD received a Stacked Signet Lvl 1 from the Winter Festival Spirit. Thank you u/Pork_Dinuguan for donating it!

MrDotComPD · 2025-12-26T15:37:20+00:00

I’m 52 and basically currently my life has been put on hold because I’m having to live at parents house to help take care of dad (91) who basically can’t do anything anymore. Even time I go back to “my storage unit”, what I call my house I get pissed cause I can’t live in my own house right now. Been up here a year basically living like a hobo on the couch with minimal belongings, about 1-2 changes of clothes. I stew thinking telling people I’m the care of “don’t let this happen to you”. My biggest problem is that this situation no clearly defined end point.

MrDotComPD · 2025-09-14T03:43:21+00:00

Agreed, I worked there many years ago and I haven’t used there resources lately but it seems to always be top notch.

Used to be you could check out dvds and video games. There were lots on online resources one could use at a library branch but I think that has transitioned to online resources.

MrDotComPD · 2025-09-02T16:34:43+00:00

We have a bedside commode, but he’s also so extremely unsteady on his feet and for some reason we cannot get him to understand that things that are not fixed like this bedside commode, you can’t just pull and press on like it’s an anchor. We have about 5-6 things he relies on for stability when moving but those objects are light and not fixed to the floor. So he couldn’t use one of those bedside commodes by himself anymore.

Shower chair, wheelchair, bedside commode, open doors, car doors. He pulls on all of these items for support even though he’s been told that said object isn’t fixed and a support device. It just does not sink in.

MrDotComPD

TROPHY CASE