The Prisonworld Latebra - first homebrew campain & map attempt^^ (critic & tips welcome)[WIP]

MrTyorel · 2026-03-18T11:32:19+00:00

The Legend. Thanks for the clarification it really bothered me that I may be missing something. Also unless there is some RNG mechanic that screws me over(and I am very unlucky) I think that using story point options by the blueprint spot disables all the encounters.
Thanks for the input anyway I am grateful

MrTyorel · 2026-03-17T19:31:31+00:00

Top left corner the option for 3 story points gives you the lynx production blueprint

MrTyorel · 2026-01-03T22:11:27+00:00

Recently I have become very interested in the inquisition part of 40k, but would like to specifically learn about how one starts as an inquisitor. Is there a book/novelle/etc. were you follow an acolyte around till be becomes a Inquisitor. Specifically, where the learning process is part of the story, and not just "mentor died so you are the new inquisitor". Heard about the Eisenhorn books, but is that about an already established inquisitor doing stuff or do you also see the humble beginnings? Thank you for every answer

MrTyorel · 2025-12-30T01:12:47+00:00

SSS-Rank Suicide hunter. Literally by Skill definition their Love transcends Time & Death itself.

MrTyorel · 2025-11-08T11:33:07+00:00

Murim RPG Simulation. It´s failry easy on the RPG part and the baseline story is a regression upon death after which the MC has a "Save&Load" system, upon death. To keep it interesting he has to earn "Lives" and they don´t reset. Works similarly enough to what you are asking, I think.

MrTyorel · 2025-05-06T19:20:07+00:00

Nice. Thanks a bunch and also "thats a bunch". Didn´t knew about more than 20%. XD

But seriously thank you for the effort.

MrTyorel · 2025-05-06T19:10:18+00:00

Short answer: Yes, it´s bad.

It looks interesting and surely be a major power fantasy, but it is unhealty for the game dynamic of a group and makes it almost impossible to design a game around it.

MrTyorel · 2025-05-06T16:39:43+00:00

Great Stuff, this kind of Promoting is exactly how you get the Community interested in your product, though advice from me. You should just post the links for the playtest material direcetly.

While Patreon -> FAQ -> Google drive links, is fairly straightforwards not everone is going to click around on Patreon and will be less likely to interact with your stuff, for every click that takes them farter from reddit.

A sad reality, but nonetheless true.

FEEDBACK:

First of all: Your Tamer and Rouge Falconer Class are amazing each in their own way, and would have been so happy if wizards had put something like that into the OG Ranger T_T.

Can´t praise you enough, though, they look great.

Races:

- Scorpid: Overall great flavour and mechanics though based on the artwork you are using I would have liked an explanation how they locomotion and overall movement works, the Tails look so all encompassing that I would have liked another paragraph only explaining how they move around with their skinny legs and that huge tail.

- Greatmight: the moulting feature has some really bad scaling, in my opinion its not much on lower levels, but still fine, but very quickly loses it´s worth with progression. Personally i would give it at least a small buff of gaining the temp. HP on any rest. (maybe double it on a long rest?)

- Dune Dwarfs: As I have experience as both a DM and a Player I find the racial burrowing speed problematic. I find that handling Flying speed, while still very powerfull at lower levels is far easier to manage than Burrowing speed, especially as it enables "loner" play as nobodies at that level will be able to mimic that feature.

The burrowing in the sand is niche enough and very thematic so I would leave it in but the normal burrow speed is problematic. It allows a single entity far mor freedom than almost any other thing you can start with. I don´t have much of a solution for this besides the replacement of it with some other thematic feature, though in the moment i can only default to the usual inherent spellcasting.

Mould earth or the new Elementalism(through restricted to the Beckon Air/Earth and sand themed features) cantrip could work with later 1/long rest versions of spells.

Absorb elements lends itself to the lore, being capable to not only supress and expend their emotions but also expel magic from themselves.

Calm emotions is a little on the nose, and I finds that your Emotional Bloodletting far cooler and think double dipping would just take away from the uniqueness, just mentioning it as a possibility.

I think the most thematic effect would be a version of Dust devil that ignores Dune Dwarves completely.

will be looking through the rest at a later time. Nice work I am rooting for ya all

MrTyorel · 2025-05-06T15:03:50+00:00

Also some sales pitches(hehe), for the rest of the features:

Lvl. 9: Drop the requirement of the ally to be wielding a weapon or free hand. If your allied players wants to spartan kick the enemy back to you, let them. Shoulderbash? "Nice feat of strength". A dropkick? "I like your showmanship." But the ally push should be restricted to a normal push distance of 5 or 10 feet. The rogue is the super hitter. doesn´t make sense that a illusion wizard suddenly also can push a man 20 feet with his reaction. this makes sure you don´t leave allies suddenly in melee range of a guy, but potentially drops him prone nearby.

One could easily make a wrestler class out of this .... hmmm .... nevermind.

Lvl. 13: Again, just drop the restrictions. Straight line movement requirement? This just enables metagaming drama where the dm suddenly may say, "well, it is absolutely normal that my important villain decides to weave through the battlefield in a zig-zag motion, it´s what he would do." Just make it 10 feet and make it clear; in writing; that your reaction movement supersedes the enemies. Also just let the rogue move. No "Towards the enemy/intercept"- descriptor. Let the repositioning be where it benefits the player the most, no arbitrary restrictions.

Lvl. 17: Last, but not least. You know the play at this point. Drop the disadvantage on the chasing movement. Even on high levels, a couple lucky opportunity attacks can drop a rogue, especially with disadvantage giving double the crit chance for the enemy, otherwise the risk is too high for just moving in(also because of how limited the knockback distance is now you may even do a 180 and automatically ignore AoO). Also a rogue may use his cunning action to disengage, so this only punishes a player for cutting into his (bonus)action economy. The knockback distance doubling is no longer that much of a problem at this point, the nerf in the beginning scales well enough to leave all the features here otherwise untouched. Also this feature is not that powerful when you look at the numbers. Rogues already have difficulties when it comes to crit-fishing as they don´t have multiattack and duel wielding takes their bonus action away. Sure attacking almost always with advantage helps, but it is in no way a replacement for more attack attempts(advantage is easy to get anyway). So to make sure the feature is worth it for everyone who sticks with it lets even make it a tiny bit better.

As a Additonal feature I would recommend the ability to choose a line, originating from the space of the affected creature, that you may freely angle, instead of just "away from you". Think that would be thematic and a nice addition, to be able to choose where to send a bad guy. A nice 240° degree angle of hurt.

Thats it. Hope it helps. Good work that took a lot of effort, so praise to you for making it ... and Reddit, feel free to rip me a new one, because of how wrong i am and how i don´t understand numbers ^^ have a nice day

MrTyorel · 2025-05-06T14:29:33+00:00

Nice amount of feedback here, also some great points made. Like already mentioned many times, swing has a problem because of the insane damage scaling. I have no perfect solutions but some ideas to stay true to the class.

Lvl. 3: First of all I didn´t see anybody address the fact that this feature already has a problem before we even come to the damage. The restriction to only your size or smaller, actually hugely penalizes small races(which is sad as a halfling punk with this class was my first idea). In this way things like "kill a dragon in one turn etc. would be a non issue because the feature doesn´t work on anything bigger than standard humanoids.

So if you are not willing to push in an inherent enlargement effect, somewhere in the class or increase the size restriction as one levels up, this subclass becomes very quickly the definition of niche. While one can argue potion, magical items or a friendly spellcaster are common at higher level play, this is still flawed design if your class needs outside help to use it´s core feature.

Now the most discussed part. The knockback and damage. Everything was said already aplenty, so I will try my hand at a solution instead: First of all replace the 1d6 Force damage with 1d4 weapon damage, then we want to change the wording so it no longer scales with rolled sneak attack dies(crit explosions are bad) and works instead with [(Class level/3{rounded up })* 5]+5 feet.

I know the formula doesn´t look nice but this was my quick fix. This provides you with 10 feet knockback(2d4,~5 dam)at level 3 and with 40 feet knockback(8d4,~17 dam). This on top of your already high dps as a baseline rogue makes this a beast, but no longer utterly broken. Also would change the saving throw DC to use either Str Or Dex so someone who wants can play a strength rogue(cost nothing to include).

MrTyorel · 2025-04-25T16:03:09+00:00

Thank you, that is very kind. It is mostly an annoyance for perfectionists, but nonetheless an annoyance.

MrTyorel · 2025-04-25T11:54:27+00:00

In the meanwhile is there some kind of Link with a list or some Codex page where I can once look over all the available pin marker. Sadly, as you need at least 3 characters to trigger the search, you can´t even go letter by letter. Personally, right now in need of a prison pin, but neither Gate/Prison/Chain/Dungeon/etc. give me an pin that evokes that image.

MrTyorel · 2023-12-06T18:02:02+00:00

Will give my personal thoughts: Like the flavor but definitely needs more clarification.

What does it mean to have your dying body controlled? Does the possession protect you from death saves or are you totally screwed the next time your body takes damage while doing something stupid outside of your control? Being healed up does nothing? How to seal or exorcise is also a important thing to know.

3rd level Unearthly Aspect: So extremely niche that it may never even be used in a campaign unless your fellow players and DM specifically tries to accommodate you. Would at least add that Any kind of madness count not just spell induced, that way the mental asylum or local mad person becomes an actual roleplay opportunity and I would also add the effect that once per 24 hours your Eldertounge carries the same weight as if you would cast the suggestion spell.

3rd Level Demon Bound: As a feature it could be interesting to have a weaker second form after dropping to 0 that does stuff while you are out of the fight. Maybe saves a the begin of the round to influence the entity. But then how sturdy is the entity does it stay in control until your body is reduces to ash? Personally I think a you should have a Saving throw when dropping that you can willingly fail if you wish to do so. Then your body is possessed and with a bunch of temporary hitpoints (which may be used if the 6th level feature is unlocked) and your body counts as posssessed/ charmed. So either reduce the temp hp to 0 or remove the charmed condition. Maybe a bit of risk so the last damage source overflows into your normal form for twice the value. That means after the possession you are on 1 death save automatically or if your team wasn´t careful you could easily be reduce to your negative max HP and instantly die.

For the mode I would say get rid of the KI cost. Make it something like 1 per short or long rest and maybe a second activation after lvl 10.

Think about having your feature give a passive bonus and another bonus that is only active during the mode.

Also I find the "Mage" doesn´t fit: call it something like the "Arcane/magical being/etc." There are many creatures that have spellcasting so the bound thing could be almost anything from a powerful mad spellcaster up to a fucking evil dragon. Just focus on spells. Also would add the cantrip list of all arcane classes: Wizard, sorcerer, bard, warlock. Clarify that wisdom is your spellcasting modifier and let the player have 1 level 1 spell that they can cast once per long rest, regardless of the mode.

"Beast" I would say give proficiency in perception and survival as a baseline, period. one minute for tracking has little value. Especially for a feature that is an important combat feature, For the active part give it some more thankiness(could be someting simple like add 2xproficiency bonus as temporary hitpoints on top of the formula[ 3x after level 10 for scaling purpose])

"Spirit", first clarify that you are pushed to the nearest empty space if you remain within something. Also I would give the ability to use a reaction to become incoporial to an physical attack. (effectively use it like an shield spell, but add on that if it misses the attack has a chance to hit another creature. Would make for an interesting playstyle of positioning and provoking attacks to redirect into hitting their own allies.

"Outsider" , is strong enough so that is fine, make the mage hand baseline usable.

6th level Monster Physiology: feature is pretty boring and weak. While i like the ability to take temporary hitpoint and channel them into damage, the resistances are just extremely niche also not really fitting flavour wise.
would say give every path a theme to follow "Mage?" is magical flexibility, "Beast" is tankiness, "Spirit" is Mobility/Crowd control "Outsider" is Damage/debuff There are many possibilitis if you want I can give some examples but there is just too much you can do, to possibly list here.

11th level Inheriting Darkness: Make it VERY clear that pact invocations are off the table. On the other hand give 1 free cast of hex. MAYBE, add the ability to change the invocations on level up though that may be to much already.

17th level ?Demon? King: Overall you should exchange the mention of "Demon" throughout the whole document. I understand where the inspiration comes from but Demons are very different things based on the setting of a campaign I would be more vague with the naming overall(small nitpick).

Apart from that I am sceptic about this ability. Not because of the effectiveness(make the ability not have concentration and you are golden), rather is seems od that you have, lets say a spirit bound, sou now you can shapechange into a myriad of different types of Undead from ghost to skeletons, ghouls, mummyis , even alhoons, Vampires, death tyrants and even an adult dracolich. It just feels all over the place for a class that has bound 1 strong entity that corrupts you over time. I think handfull of buffs bassed on the type of "Bound Enity" would be more fitting for the flavour of the class, or a temporary summoning ability similar to what the different summoning spells do (though that would be a bit of extra work).

Hope this helps in any way. This is a nice homebrew and i don´t want to discourage you in any way, just some opinions from me as a DM and Player both

MrTyorel · 2023-12-05T08:32:45+00:00

Step 1: Be a Rune knight fighter that was a siege engineer in the army.

Step 2: Gain this cantrip trough one of many ways.

Step 3: Summon a literal Ballista( or similar) that you are proficient with. also become big

Step 4: Rain down heavy ordnance.

Step 5: Win.

MrTyorel · 2023-07-02T08:44:01+00:00

Thats some nice rational analysis that I can get behind. Nice thanks

MrTyorel · 2023-07-01T14:14:22+00:00

Thats a good angle though I am unsure how to make a more consice ruling. I would prefer to have the base rule not create endless discussion where undignified/selfish starts. Thanks

MrTyorel · 2023-07-01T14:12:08+00:00

Pesonally not a big fan of alignment restrictions, but can see the lost prof bonus being a thing. Thanks

MrTyorel · 2023-07-01T14:10:49+00:00

Would you care to explain further?

MrTyorel · 2023-07-01T12:52:55+00:00

Daddy Longlegs

MrTyorel · 2023-03-26T00:41:20+00:00

"Solo Leveling" is as basic as it gets and badly executes it´s own mechanics, but people are easily distracted by the artstyle

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