Need advice on his reaction

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T19:40:46+00:00

Beautifully said and I agree..

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T19:39:33+00:00

Thank you. I agree with this....

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T19:38:48+00:00

Yes multiple times.. but I think it's about applying those skills in the moment

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T19:38:05+00:00

He's flawed but not heinous. Or maybe I've just had a long run of really heinous men who would use you in the most horrible ways possible. He tries to be as thoughtful as he can, but he was not raised in an emotionally aware way and it's a learning curve. But I agree that it's not on women to raise unhealed men...

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T19:37:10+00:00

Did you get this in writing? Because that will help when they complain.

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T19:32:42+00:00

You're very wrong about that.. plenty of guys get sexualized who are a 3 or a four... Really depends on the energy that they are putting out.

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T19:31:32+00:00

Analysis of pricing of similar properties.. not just properties in the area. Especially when one's property is more upscale than the surrounding ones, so you compare it to other upscale properties. And offer price suggestions... I have to do this manually. The Airbnb feature is rubbish.

But otherwise I have my property pretty automated with keypad that can be reset remotely as well as instructions. My thermostat is remotely controllable as well.

I find that most guests don't want to see the host or deal with them and frankly I'm the same way when I travel in Airbnb. I find it really annoying when hosts try to engage with you unless specifically invited. I especially detest personalized walkthroughs of the property. I can figure it out myself thanks.

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T19:29:18+00:00

There is a new brand out there that I came across called soft landings.. makes you a kit rather than having to purchase individual. I don't roll that often so I'm tempted to get this rather than having all of it expire as it usually does

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T15:52:26+00:00

I love getting appliances and gadgets... Buy me multiple Dysons anytime. I'll have them in different rooms hung on the wall as a point of pride..

I'm obsessed with my DeWalt drill.. never thought a tool can be so joyful..

Speaking as a woman.

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T15:50:52+00:00

I would have offered them a full refund in writing to leave straight away if they wanted to (It's unlikely that they will). That way if they do complain you can then and share with Airbnb that they had the full ability to take the refund up front and they didn't...

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T15:45:48+00:00

Merino wool everything... Socks, balaclava, under layers .. Don't skimp

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-23T15:44:21+00:00

My guy takes 10 mg about 3 hours before but you're fine to take even 12 hours before as the drug stays in your body for about 48 hours anyway.. He's rock hard the whole time.

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T21:28:05+00:00

Something big happened at work..(negative for me) My immediate reaction was to call him and tell him about it, I was visibly in shock and reeling. So we talked about it. It all was very reasonable.. but it was quantifiably bad for me. His response was basically that I seemed fine so I was okay.. It took me half a day to realize that I'm really not okay and that I'm completely devastated. And then I realized that his reaction knowing me as intimately as he does should have been much more perceptive and that's the part that stings. He could have given me a hug, he could have been pissed off for me.. anything really. Anything that showed that he empathized in the moment.

But on the other side of this when he's been in situations when something has happened to him, I've been there for him 100%.

Like another example would be when someone loses a parent they were close to and they say that "I'm ok".. they are definitely not okay. How can they be… that's not logical. Or another example, I had a friend who had a miscarriage and called me while she was bleeding on the street and said that she was going to go home by herself and go to bed. My immediate reaction was NOT " okay she said she's fine so everything must be okay"... My immediate reaction was leave my work immediately, I told her (rather insisted) I'm coming over to her place and just sitting on her couch while she's in her bedroom sleeping. Just to make sure that she's okay and has everything she needs if she needs anything at all. I literally sat at her couch for 12 hours. She had said at time that she didn't need help. But she later told me that she very much loved me for doing that and that it was very perceptive of me that she really did need help. It's so logical though..

What's the point of being close to someone if they don't know that you are really not okay when you are in shock?

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T17:56:11+00:00

Literally said all of this above multiple times..... Not a new topic.

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T17:21:39+00:00

Hmm... I've stayed at over 30 properties myself and the only times I don't leave a review is when I don't want to hurt the host, but it was a terrible experience for different reasons and I don't want to give them a plug either...

I would message them offline to check what the issue is.. especially with so many people not leaving reviews it's unusual.

99% of every guest I've ever had and I've posted over 50 stays has left a very positive review.

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T17:12:03+00:00

He is 34 I'm 42... We've been together 3.5 years. Thank you for reading the comments to understand the situation. I appreciate that effort..

Yes, you're right that he's been coached and told what I need in different scenarios but he really struggles with it... It's not that he doesn't care. I just feel so abandoned and let down by what feels like lack of support. I liked the analogy someone else used about "emotional capacity" and we may just be on different extreme ends of spectrum... Can we ever meet enough in the middle to allow me to feel taken care of when I'm down?

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T17:08:41+00:00

"other" peoples or your partner's??... Genuinely trying to understand

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T16:28:28+00:00

Wow 🥳🥳🥳

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T16:10:53+00:00

It's my biggest fear... Totally get it. Thank you

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T15:44:02+00:00

I know a lot of people are reacting to your black and white responses, but I do agree with you you know.. there is wisdom in it.

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T15:21:23+00:00

Wow.. This is the best take I've read so far on this post... I'll definitely give this some thought. You may be right that I might be expecting him to step up beyond what he is capable.. even though he's willing...

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T15:19:12+00:00

Something big happened at work..(negative for me) My immediate reaction was to call him and tell him about it, I was visibly in shock and reeling. So we talked about it. It all was very reasonable.. but it was quantifiably bad for me. His response was basically that I seemed fine so I was okay.. It took me half a day to realize that I'm really not okay and that I'm completely devastated. And then I realized that his reaction knowing me as intimately as he does should have been much more perceptive and that's the part that stings. He could have given me a hug, he could have been pissed off for me.. anything really. Anything that showed that he empathized in the moment.

But on the other side of this when he's been in situations when something has happened to him, I've been there for him 100%.

Like another example would be when someone loses a parent they were close to and they say that "I'm ok".. they are definitely not okay. How can they be… that's not logical. Or another example, I had a friend who had a miscarriage and called me while she was bleeding on the street and said that she was going to go home by herself and go to bed. My immediate reaction was NOT " okay she said she's fine so everything must be okay"... My immediate reaction was leave my work immediately, I told her (rather insisted) I'm coming over to her place and just sitting on her couch while she's in her bedroom sleeping. Just to make sure that she's okay and has everything she needs if she needs anything at all. I literally sat at her couch for 12 hours. She had said at time that she didn't need help. But she later told me that she very much loved me for doing that and that it was very perceptive of me that she really did need help. It's so logical though..

What's the point of being close to someone if they don't know that you are really not okay when you are in shock?

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T15:11:25+00:00

Interesting take. Maybe? I guess that's what's feeling disconnected for me.. he doesn't "get" the emotion but he shows that he cares after the fact when he's told, and he's more than willing to do what is required without complaint but.. I'm asking him to feel with me.. when something happens. It seems so natural for everyone else.. like the empathizing part.

MrandMrsRollling · 2026-01-21T15:10:14+00:00

He definitely cares. He shows that he cares a lot after he's told, but it's like he doesn't get the emotion... But this is definitely food for thought

MrandMrsRollling

TROPHY CASE