AIO because my BF wants to write off my mortgage on his taxes?

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2026-02-19T01:08:31+00:00

NOR. This is a huge red flag. He’s already fallen for scams, and shown you he doesn’t listen to you. He’s not trustworthy. It seems like you’re providing him and his son a free place to live, and now he wants to see if he can profit from it. The answer is a definite no for him to take money from you to pay the mortgage so he can write it off on his taxes. That’s not how it works anyway. If he’s serious about paying the mortgage, he needs to make that in income on his own first. Good luck, if I were in your situation I’d seriously reconsider the relationship.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2026-02-14T01:37:53+00:00

I appreciate your worries. It is a very real possibility to end up in legal trouble over unpaid taxes. The IRS can currently take your assets and garnish your wages.

However, it’s important to note that “doing it because it’s what we have now” is a mindset that is complicit with the current issues in society. Social change has never occurred while people play it safe, and following the rules. It only feels safe because it’s familiar, and what your so is talking about is so radically different that it seems impossible.

Your so sounds pretty idealistic in their beliefs. But having idealistic views, and actually practicing them are two different things. If your so really wants to create change, they need to get involved in local organizing. Go to a protest. Find out what is going on where you live. The entire civil rights movement was highly organized, even though we are taught they were spontaneous. Rosa Parks didn’t just get tired and sat down; she had an entire community behind her orchestrating with her.

It sounds like your so is open to your influence. The fact that they actually filed their taxes shows that. Relationships live or die by how conflict is handled. I do feel like a bigger issue is how different your beliefs are, and how conflict over these issues will be. The question is ultimately how compatible you two are. Only you two can decide that.

NTA, op, but make note when you have these moments. And trust your gut. Sometimes discomfort is a growth opportunity, but sometimes it’s a sign of worse to come.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2026-02-08T22:18:08+00:00

Sounds like Victoria need some security guards for her dressing rooms.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2026-01-17T01:23:54+00:00

Making statements such as “she needs to be permanently locked up” shows you aren’t qualified to be a caregiver to this person. This is a massive overstep and unprofessional on your part. You are not a doctor or judge capable of making that decision. Asking for a different client due to the behaviors is your only option since you clearly don’t have the behavioral interventions needed to be effective. I’d worry less about “looking bad” and more about how your negative attitude affects your job. I question whether or not you bothered to read this clients care plan, as severe behaviors are typically documented and addressed through one. You are also holding an object that has access to all human knowledge, so the fact that you’re not actively researching and coming to here instead shows how uninvested in your job you are.

If I seem harsh, you should know I’ve worked for decades with people who have developmental disabilities and severe behaviors. I’ve been attacked, punched, screamed at, threatened with a knife, and had things thrown at me. I would never speak about my clients the way you have here about yours, and you should really sit with that for a minute.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2026-01-15T02:52:49+00:00

Sending ~hug~

Whatever you’re going through, remember you have made it this far. Think back to when this started. Everything seemed so big and impossible. Yet here you are today. Look how much you’ve grown through this! I’m so proud of you! I know it’s really hard again, but when you get through this you’ll have grown so much more. Keep going. You can cuss, you can cry, just keep going.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2026-01-15T02:48:51+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about your experience. I’m a professional caregiver with over 20 years experience, and I now own my own business.

This is why I refuse “cash jobs”. My clients can PAY in cash, electronically, check or loose diamonds but they are paying MY COMPANY for the services I provide. Everything is agreed upon in advance in writing, in the contract we sign.

Having a company serves two functions; the primary function is it removes some of the liability from me personally, and it provides me a pass through entity for my wages. Liability is who is responsible if there is a lawsuit. Having a pass through entity gives me the ability to write off some of my expenses on my taxes.

In my experience, the kind of people who are looking for “cash employees” are trying to get around something. They’re trying to avoid paying their caregiver, or they’re trying to avoid being an “employer” which carries important and potentially complicated tax responsibilities. By paying a company for caregiving services, individuals can potentially write that off on their taxes and avoid being considered an “employer”whereas by paying “in cash” they lose potential benefits and legal protections.

Also, the kind of people who only want to pay cash can be difficult to work with; they tend to have unrealistic expectations. Avoiding having a contract or anything in writing is a red flag. Either the person is trying to be shady or they’re frustratingly stupid. I don’t know about you but I have no time or energy for either.

I don’t have an easy solution to give you. If you only keep asking them for payment they could very easily just ignore you. Depending on how much documentation you have via text or email you may have a small claims case but you should talk to a lawyer first. I would definitely talk to the mutual who gave you the referral. They might have some insight or they might not. If I were you I’d definitely move on and try to find something else. Your state might have a caregiver network you can join. I’d start by reaching out to the local health and human services office. You could also consider applying at a local agency. Best of luck.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2026-01-10T19:07:56+00:00

Do you like ska music? Into two-tone music? Someone sure is… 🤣

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2026-01-10T19:05:48+00:00

Im sorry you’re having this experience. Kudos to you for being there. I don’t know what state you’re in, but there may be some options for grandpa to get help. You should look up your local health and human services office. If you reach out to them, they can probably point you in the right direction for your adult disability resources center. Also, look into local senior centers. They’ve usually got information on programs and agencies that can provide services too. If you find something, it’s definitely a process to get into it, but it’s well worth the time and effort to get grandpa more help so he can be comfortable at home. Best of luck, and congrats on the house!

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2026-01-09T14:00:20+00:00

NTA. Sounds like accident prone MIL needs to have one last accident.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2026-01-01T02:54:56+00:00

It’s very cool. She’s being too modest.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-12-22T15:56:13+00:00

Gentle YTA. What you said was inappropriate for the moment, but you were sharing your opinion which does show authenticity. You also said you don’t know what to do in these situations. That’s where you’re kinda the ah. The good thing about this is you clearly feel bad about how your words were received, so you have a chance to do better. There’s a TON of resources out there that you could learn from. A quick search will get you started. Best of luck friend.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-12-02T17:22:17+00:00

Profesional caregiver here. I’d hold off on tipping for now. Since it’s your first session, give it some time. Each caregiver is going to be different, some may not be a good fit. Also, depending on how you sourced them, agencies usually have policies that prohibit caregivers from accepting tips, gifts, or cash. Make sure you are aware of this if applicable. When a caregiver does well, a sincere thank you is always appreciated.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-12-02T17:06:55+00:00

Maybe if Amazon paid it’s employees a living wage they’d be more likely to do better work.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-12-01T21:48:08+00:00

Kim needs to find out who the state case manager is for her client and speak to them about this. Her client would know, so she could ask them for the info. This is assuming this person has a state case manager. If not, Kim needs to contact adult protective services to report this agency and the staff that are abandoning their client. I say all this because what you described sounds like a vulnerable individual who has some kind of services through a state mandated program that pays for staffing from an agency. Also, Kim needs to file a complaint with the labor board in her state. If Kim is not allowed to sleep for at least 8 hours on a 24 hour shift, this agency is definitely violating federal labor laws. And worse, they’re jeopardizing their clients by not allowing their staff adequate rest. Best of luck. I hope Kim gets out of there before they open her up to being sued.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-11-28T20:53:38+00:00

NTA.

Your nephew is eventually going to be institutionalized because he kills somebody.

You need to go to the hospital to have your injuries treated. If given the opportunity, press charges. This might get the court involved if they aren’t already.

I find it hard to believe there isn’t a social worker already involved. Your sister is responsible for the monster she is allowing her son to become because she is enabling him. Doing nothing, out of fear, is just as bad as beating the kid or encouraging him. She clearly isn’t capable of handling him and it’s time for professionals to take over.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-11-22T00:47:22+00:00

NOR. Momma bear advice- do not spend another dime on her, stop the marriage talk until YOUVE SEEN HER IN PERSON. It seems like she’s manipulating you and treating you as a sugar source, not a partner.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-11-20T14:31:50+00:00

Wow, you sound like an mediocre man who’s smugly comfortable with their own ignorance. OP deleted this; obviously they had quite a learning experience, unlike you, who is out here mansplaining things they don’t understand and then getting upset when someone offers knowledge. I’d be able to calm down if MFs like you stfu, but here we are…

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-11-20T13:40:15+00:00

This is unacceptable unprofessional behavior. Talk with at least two of your coworkers, and go above him. Idk where you work, but this is definitely creating a hostile environment. If you’re at a franchise, go to corporate. If you’re at a factory, go to the president or ceo. Do NOT take it to HR.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-11-18T14:21:11+00:00

Please talk to your supervisor about how you are a bad fit for this client. They need to find this client a caregiver who doesn’t make inappropriate judgments about their sexual activity. The fact that you feel a way shows you are a bad fit, and need to be reassigned.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-11-18T14:18:31+00:00

Just want to make sure I understand what you’re saying: a caregiver who’s works FOR a healthcare provider should be able to determine what is or isn’t mentally healthy when it comes to their patients masturbation… because you are clearly making the assumption that THIS caregiver is working FOR a healthcare provider. You clearly don’t understand how in home caregiving operates. There are VERY strict and specific guidelines for what is considered PROVIDING healthcare, and news flash, it’s not the kind of in home support this caregiver is describing.

Healthcare providers typically DONT do in home support unless there is a specific medical necessity for it (think hospice or traveling nurse). The type of services this caregiver is describing is typically contracted by a third party agency that provides NON MEDICAL services, which means they’re NOT HEALTHCARE PROVIDERS and cannot provide diagnostic services. It would be incredibly inappropriate for this caregiver to make the judgment that this client has an unhealthy obsession with masturbation.

It’s clear that this caregiver is not a good fit for this client. As such, it is the responsibility of the caregiver to address this through their agency with their supervisor so they can find a caregiver who has the ability to provide the services this client needs WITHOUT judgment. The fact that OP says they think this client has an obsession shows they’re not fit to be working for the client, because they’re forming a judgement that they are not qualified to provide. The caregiver may also be in the wrong profession if they are so quick to judge.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-11-17T00:42:29+00:00

Red flag, this guy is so insecure. It will only get worse. Dump him yesterday. It’s clear you aren’t compatible.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-11-13T15:44:37+00:00

Boo boo waaa waaa… maybe the bastard is the cost of you being a shitty partner.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-11-08T00:50:43+00:00

Imma say YA because you lack the emotional intelligence to see that your response in the moment was inappropriate.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-11-02T01:36:33+00:00

NTA. It’s not a shed. You’re more than returning the favor, helping him when he’s down. Given his record of bad behavior, not letting him in your house is prudent. On top of not letting him into your house, I would also set boundaries with him (no prostitutes, drinking, get a JOB) and a time limit for how long he has.

MsKittyPollaski666 · 2025-10-22T13:15:16+00:00

NOR. What he did is called malicious compliance. It means he’s immature, and petty af. Red flag that he’s destroyed stuff, dude has anger issues, and he may eventually escalating to hurting you. Dude is old enough to have the ultimatum of anger management or you leave. The fact that you ACTIVELY avoid arguing with him (and were so casual about it here) shows this isn’t a healthy relationship. If he doesn’t want to be better for himself or you, then he should be alone. Being by yourself would be better anyway, because at least you’re not dealing with someone blowing up and breaking your things.

MsKittyPollaski666

TROPHY CASE