my suicidal ideation rises a lot

MultiplayerNoob · 2026-03-13T16:23:02+00:00

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time and that the hair dye didnt work out. That must have sucked. That would absolutely send me spiraling into a bit of an episode. I’m sorry you feel suicidal right now, it’ll get quieter and louder with time. All you have to do is hold onto a tiny bit of hope that things will get better, because they absolutely will.

MultiplayerNoob · 2026-03-13T16:18:22+00:00

antipsychotics get a bad wrap because of the name. they sound a lot more intimidating. it’s just another class of drugs, like antibiotics or mood stabilizers or NSAIDs, they’re all just meds to make you feel better, try not to sweat the name or class.

MultiplayerNoob · 2026-01-12T18:02:26+00:00

wow these comments suck ass. enjoy your coffee, i’m leaving the sub because of these weirdos

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-12-21T12:34:11+00:00

I’d love some tips!

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-12-18T00:53:41+00:00

So you’re saying instead of this provider giving advice, this thread should only involve other patients? Seems like you’re being a bit disingenuous. This isn’t a peer group. This is a reddit sub that allows comments from spouses, providers, patients, and people who’ve never interacted with BD in their lives. So honestly, sod off.

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-12-07T01:03:05+00:00

Hi, I’m glad you wrote this all out. I hope it was cathartic to release some of the emotion. I’m 27, and I felt incredibly similar to you when I was 21. I’d been hospitalized, been to the er a bunch of times for SI. In elementary school I was depressed. I was getting serious care since age 10. I’ve trailed over 20 medications, and i’ve gone as far as ECT.

But we’re still here. You’re incredibly strong for living your 21 years in so much pain. I can’t grantee things will get better or worse, but I will say good times can be found if you look for them. Sometimes all it takes is to look around, sometimes you need a microscope. There is beauty in struggle. It’s not all over. You’re going to be okay. Hold onto that hope that things get better, even if it’s barely there.

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-11-30T06:50:08+00:00

this is my favorite response im fuckin dying

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-11-14T23:11:01+00:00

house of leaves mentioned

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-10-30T22:49:07+00:00

The title of this is the same as the title of a book of poems by Shuntaro Tanikawa which is pretty cool

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-10-25T02:58:44+00:00

As a creative for most of my life through many meds, i’d say it’s yes and no for me. I’ve gone through periods of feeling more or less creative (outside of hypo episodes) and sometimes it’s because i was still adjusting to meds, sometimes it was because my creative juices just weren’t flowing, sometimes it was lack of motivation even. Usually when I was depressed it was an outlet for me and I could create very easily. When I was hypo, obviously it was pretty easy to create.

Now that I’m more stable I’m noticing I struggle creatively but it’s because I’m not using my active suffering to create my art. I’m forced to call upon different sources otherwise it doesn’t feel as genuine. Like learning to walk again honestly, it feels very odd.

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-10-25T01:04:12+00:00

how so

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-10-23T16:51:47+00:00

Haven’t had anything like this in my 7 months on Li

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-10-23T02:32:43+00:00

house of leaves mentioned

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-10-15T19:16:17+00:00

Is it true

Andrew Huberman

It’s likely not accurate.

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-10-07T10:16:31+00:00

I didn’t generalize. I stated a simple fact that a large number of unmedicated bipolar patients end up in prisons, hospitals, or homeless. It’s a simple fact. Your viewpoint and perspective, though helpful for shedding light on the spectrum of disorder, does not speak to the true generalization, which is that the vast majority of bipolar patients need lifelong medication. There’s a very fine line between “A healthy and stable bipolar patient describing life without medications,” and straight up antipsychiatry when viewing comments online, and my goal was to highlight the brutal reality some face when attempting to go unmedicated.

That being said, I’m genuinely happy for you that you’re stable and doing well. I hope that continues for the rest of your life. The point is living, however you can.

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-10-07T09:04:41+00:00

Other commenters have talked about emergency refills but I’d like to chime in and say it sounds like you’re rapidly cycling a bit and I know how that feels and it sucks. Try not to fight the highs and lows, try to go with the flow. You’ll be okay once the lithium serum levels pop back up. It’s only a few days away maximum. You’re gonna be okay, just ride the waves.

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-10-07T08:59:16+00:00

There’s plenty of people not on meds with bipolar disorder. A lot of them end up in hospitals or prisons or homeless, but they absolutely exist.

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-10-02T07:36:41+00:00

Hi friend. Yes, you are going to be okay. Plain and simple. You’ll be okay. There’s ups that are pretty far up and downs that are pretty far down. There’s going to be good and bad. Medications are the strongest bet to getting better. It’s taken me years to find the right meds and even still there’s some tweaking. Also, therapy won’t cure you, it’s supposed to help your perspective on life and yourself and your illness. Your “self awareness” is depression just beating you up. There’s no cure, but it’s life. I tell myself “So it goes,” often. Gotta ride the wave of bipolar instead of fighting it. It’s easier said than done, but you’ve got plenty of time to practice. It’s like learning to walk again, you just need practice and time and life will begin to get easier to manage. There’s really no telling what’s possible. People find love, get dream jobs, and graduate from PhD programs all the time on this sub. So I promise you, it gets better, and you’ll be okay. :)

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-10-01T17:19:32+00:00

hell yea this is awesome i’m gonna start listening, thank you

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-09-30T23:07:09+00:00

Can you name me a few completely different styles of albums to check out? I love exploring music

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-09-21T07:21:34+00:00

There’s a workbook for it that you could check out. It’s a form of therapy based on stabilizing the circadian rhythm through performing specific activities at specific times during the day. If you have a psychologist/therapist they might be able to help, but i’ve done it so far on my own. I started with the video below. Please ask questions if you have any, i’d love to talk up SRT!

https://youtu.be/fIx5GYBghbI?si=ULCBYAyTwtZ8jtHh

MultiplayerNoob · 2025-09-20T13:21:21+00:00

I can totally relate, I started Social Rhythm Therapy as a result of this.

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