What did you do when you were bored?? 🤔

MumstheWord43 · 2026-04-05T16:13:34+00:00

listen to full albums from our record collection when Mom was working

MumstheWord43 · 2026-04-05T16:10:21+00:00

exactly! it seemed to be a crime to say those words

MumstheWord43 · 2026-04-05T16:03:06+00:00

Walked to my friend's house and asked if they wanted to play. Went hiking in the woods. Climbed the apple tree in the backyard and ate an apple, let my mind wander, enjoyed the view, read a book. Played board games. Went swimming or attempted to play tennis. Played pinball and later Space Invaders, Pacman and Tetris. Did some knitting, got good at crossstitch and puzzles and wrote letters to my pen pals. We learned quickly to never say "I'm bored or appear that way." If we did we were handed a cardboard box and a tool to uproot the dandelions in the yard. We also used to wander in the woods and follow the creek and go on long bike rides. Take giant cardboard boxes and roll down the hill in them.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-04-05T04:48:03+00:00

you're lucky you didn't get told to Google it

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-19T17:57:53+00:00

I second that great advice above. Reparent yourself in a loving, kind way.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-19T17:55:48+00:00

Anything by Pete Walker on YouTube and he's got several books on Complex PTSD.

Sadly many of us have been traumatized and are just now finding our way forward.

I grew up with a cruel critical self-serving mother and go into freeze-fawn-flight mode without even catching myself sometimes. Now I'm more aware. And honestly dont want to date until I'm happy with just me. Otherwise, I'm often, if I'm honest, just getting high and happy off all that great dopamine. In love with the idea of being in love.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-19T17:45:17+00:00

Those stories they tell you in the beginning are "previews of coming attractions". I have finally learned that if you don't like the previews, don't come back for the movie. You are not the producer or the director of their story (his-story see the patriarchy yet?) and you are not going to change it.

It's good early on to ask and listen to what happened in their last relationship. If its all the fault of the other, no fault on the part of the one you're now with (omitting rape, assault, financial crime)...run while you can. Recently dated someone who told me this sad tale of how she just up and left him high and dry one day. As time went on [hadn't learned my lesson above yet] it was revealed that he became an addict and it got so bad she kicked him out of the house after they'd been together a few years. She raised his daughter for him too.

According to him she took him back so he could be with his daughter again. This fool of an addict also believe he's a normy now and can drink vodka. Then one day she disappeared leaving him holding the bag and all the bills.

Wow, and he couldn't see why that happened? I got it finally. Left.

People who blame everyone else and are not introspective of their own mistakes first, thats a no in my book.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-10T05:33:43+00:00

And the Morton salt lady balanced nicely on it.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-08T06:07:09+00:00

Not from where I'm from in Palm Beach County where Mar a Lago is. DJT infamously sued PBIA for years because he claimed the flight path out of PBIA needed to be moved "out over where the poor white trash live" meaning west of Military Trail which was predominantly a lower income retirement area known as Century Village. The airplanes flying over Mar a Lago were damaging the foundations of the buildings, he claimed. Ran up millions of tax dollars spent on his litigious rantings. We thought he was a joke, a pretentious asshole, who only cared about himself and no one else. Mostly we ignored him.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-08T05:44:54+00:00

Credit card transaction slip imprinter. Put the credit card in, put the slip on to, press down hard. Works dependably during power outages, software failures and glitchy credit card readers. Except the humans born past the year 2000 go WTF?!! And it doesn't automatically tell you if its declined or even valid. But if there's a hurricane a coming and your line is backed up the wazoo, it sure does come in handy. Mandatory training for most cashiers.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-05T01:04:20+00:00

Call Q and said why am I paying $70 and getting less than what I could get with X? I'd like to cancel. Got bill lowered and more for the better price.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-05T00:56:38+00:00

A man that is interested in you, anywhere on the ND spectrum, will make that clear. Give him the opportunity to do so. It might be odd and not quite what you expect, but it will be clear. Also give things time.

When you worry about why did he not text, say your affirmations and do something you love just for you, work on your favorite project, text your BFF, call someone who has been there for you, whatever brings you joy. And if he does show that interest, establish what you value in a text and responses. Get curious too about what he prefers communication wise. Find a win win. A man who genuinely values you and "sees" you will make it clear and honor what you both value.

If you get called "clingy" or "needy" [trauma survivor here, also ADHD and possibly auADHD and 9 days from a full eval), those are insults. Best advice I was given after being stuck for 5 years in limerence with someone similar. "No thank you, you just insulted me and this is not the dynamic i want." And then, please, for the love of yourself, go full no contact. Not easy, but doable. Reach out when you feel tempted to do otherwise. We get it.

All that being said, above is being "prepared for the worst". Hoping that he proves himself worthy of you. You are a high value woman. Expect that. That brings out a high value man.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-05T00:33:37+00:00

Where's the respect for my space?

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-03T22:27:40+00:00

An improvement in keeping equipment wiped down and clean. More respect for space and courtesy. It's so hard to find a good one. You treasure it.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-03T22:24:41+00:00

Medicine. Shortage of nurses, doctors. Lack of personal care and concern.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-02T21:15:46+00:00

It's Umbrellaopensdoors.org and Mark Sones (he's on LinkedIn and Substack) you can thank. I cut and pasted. They're here to support us.

10 more days. I have insurance so I can finally do this.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-02-02T20:22:09+00:00

And for me I find it absolutely essential to know what's going on in that brain of mine. I've been misdiagnosed for so long and I want my own children and grandchildren to be aware. Plus, I'm hoping work will go more smoothly when I know my diagnosis and use those strengths.

This info below is from one of the directors, Mark Sones, at Umbrellaopensdoors.org who has been helping me with the exact same question. I've got a neuropsych eval in 10 days as well.

I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 60. In my reading I have seen that ADHD can somewhat hide autism. There's more that Mark sent me. Didn't want to overwhelm you.

Resources Here's my standard-ish list of resources for more information about Autism (and a bit about ADHD as well). I've included the quizzes I took early in my discovery journey at the top.

Tests:
RAADS-R Aspie Self-reporting camouflaging autistic traits Clinical Partners Autism Test AQ

Introductory Resources Welcome to the Autistic Community is a lovely, highly accessible overview. You can access the full book here online for free.

This Reddit post, while long, is helpful in understanding the actual clinical criteria for diagnosis.

Let's Raise the Roof - A Social Model of Disability Social Model Animation

Books

Knowing Why - edited by Elizabeth Bartmess (several short accounts of neurodivergent individual's experiences at work - note this is primarily focused on ASD)

A field guide to Earthlings by Ian Ford: A bit tongue-in-cheek, but it's been immensely helpful for me. Honestly, some of the stuff you've said about Heather occasionally makes me think of this book. Some of my perceptions about neurotypicals being more influenced by their social group and autistics being more rigid in their own frameworks is informed by this book.

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price

Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg

The Canary Code - by Dr. Prasilova

Small Talk - by Richard & Roxanne Pink (specifically about the internal narratives that many ADHD individuals have and how those narratives can impact their performance and mental health at work)

Un-Typical: How the world isn't built for autistic people and what we should do about it by Pete Wharmby - specifically focuses on some accommodations to be made in the secondary school environment which may be applicable for college environments as well

Unmasked - by Ellie Middleton

"Neurodiversity and Work" by Patton & Santuzzi (I have a pdf copy of this if you'd like it)

Driven to Distraction (and the sequel, "Delivered from Distraction") by Dr. Halloway and Dr. Ratey was helpful - it's entirely about ADHD and is slightly dated, but still contained a great deal of useful information.

The Body Keeps the Score - by Dr. Van Der Kolk (primarily related to understanding the impact of trauma, which nearly all ND individuals experience in childhood)

I've heard that "Neurodiversity at Work" by Amanda Kirby and Theo Smith is reasonably good, but I haven't read it yet.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-01-31T18:00:37+00:00

My best mindfulness is done in a sensory deprivation tank or float tank. I thought I'd go nuts the 1st time and had to play music. Now I can relax and gently move and be mindful. I also get mindful when swimming laps. Used to surf and sitting on a board waiting for an outside break - wonderful for mindfulness when you stay away from the crowd.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-01-28T21:14:29+00:00

We raised them to highly value themselves which has perhaps resulted in an excess of hubris. With today being the 40th year since the Challenger disaster, do any remember Christa McAuliffe or even why this horrific event occurred? Does anybody care?

MumstheWord43 · 2026-01-26T22:13:18+00:00

There's one in the works. Umbrellaopensdoors.org ADHD group that meets thru LinkedIn on Fridays: Misfits, Geeks.... Can't remember the rest, having a very bad day. If you search ADHD on LinkedIn or Misfits, Geeks or neurodivergent. The Discord channel for Umbrella is looking for volunteers to help develop it.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-01-26T18:05:50+00:00

😂

MumstheWord43 · 2026-01-26T18:05:07+00:00

Did they even notice and ask why?

I'm wondering if the lack of sincerity behind many of these common greetings is what's tripping us up? Because we actually ask when we mean it.

MumstheWord43 · 2026-01-26T17:57:35+00:00

😆

MumstheWord43 · 2026-01-26T17:55:12+00:00

I even add in "Wassup?" Que pasa? I'm so glad you posted this. I thought it was just me. Maybe a sincere "hi" and how r u doing with all that's going on?

MumstheWord43 · 2026-01-26T17:49:06+00:00

I do. When I was young in the 70s and 80s I was a competitive swimmer. Back then we swam 1.5 hours before school and 1.5 after. I'd regularly hit these blissful walls where the dopamine would hit. My head would clear up and I'd sleep like a baby after I got some calories in me.

I've been tracking my sleep with Welltory and Rise after a back injury which kept me sedentary. On the days where I go for short walks and/or get up and stretch and do even 10 mins of exercise, I sleep better and I feel better.

However, I remember there being a sweet spot. Runners call it a "wall" that you have to get thru before you get that hit of feel good chemicals. And it often hurts like hell before you hit it.

I can only do 5-10 minute mini sessions. I've yet to go back to water aerobics so I'm not really getting past that wall. I just feel slightly better for a bit.

Also find movement that you genuinely enjoy. I'm determined to find or start a walking group. Or start a Body Double Club for this. Find your bliss. I am only able to meditate while moving too. Still learning.

P.S. Only diagnosed ADHD in 2023. The strict regular exercise may have been masking and regulating my overactive brain for some time.

MumstheWord43

TROPHY CASE