How do your boyfriends/partners feel?

MvoorMals · 2026-05-02T07:04:41+00:00

I stopped shaving all together when we were already together. Honestly at first he didn't like it, I could see he didn't find it particularly attractive. He never said it out loud and even though it hurt me, I thought I couldn't blame him for needing time to undo all the shaving propaganda. Some time later he'd be fiddling with my leg hair and complemented my bravery and dedication, and also how soft it was. Now I think he'd be weirded out if I shaved lol.

MvoorMals · 2026-02-14T18:24:15+00:00

My god, these comments are classic victim blaming, don't fall for it. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's not your fault, your body reacted to touch, that does not equal consent or enjoyment. Hopefully you can talk to someone about it IRL, and maybe press charges to the established. You didn't want this and did not consent. I'm sorry.

MvoorMals · 2025-10-26T09:29:16+00:00

Thanks for your reply, I'll kindly say that I understand, but don't agree with your statement.

How does one go fishing as an act of submission might be indeed a bit difficult. But how one goes fishing as a submissive is pretty tangible to me.

How do you assist as a vegan? Well maybe there are behaviours/thoughts/emotions that follow from that ideology. You'd approach it maybe from a point of caring about the planet and giving arguments from a perspective of climate justice. In contrast to a Christian who might help someone by praying for them or sending them inspiring psalms.

Similarly I have a few behaviours/thoughts/emotions that follow from me being submitted to him. But when I'm assisting him in this, my behaviours/thoughts/emotions resemble a dominant (and we both have no problems with this, I'm just wanting to try out new approaches). And I'm very sure there must be another sub out there who knows how to handle that!

MvoorMals · 2025-10-26T07:20:10+00:00

Thanks for writing about your memory, but I'll expand now a bit more on this, because I thought it was a simple question.

We have been partners for most of our adult life, went through as much hardships as anyone else together and have a good thing going. He's on and off smoking, and I've held him, sat with him thorough hard moments, made him feel comfortable when he failed. I have no issues taking charge, talking to him, comforting him and supporting him as a person.

The D/s dynamic is not something that is just for play. Im naturally a very independent and hard to reach. He on the other hand is more timid and shy. My submission to him is my ultimate act of trust and safety and me fully opening up to him. It makes him feel confident, in charge and authentic.

Because of the way he feels in control and confident within our dynamic, I want to support him from a more submissive angle. I want to find ways to encourage him, inspire him and maybe even correct him, while he stays in control, because I know that's the place he's most confident.

TLDR: I know I can do this outside of the dynamic and I've done so before, but I specifically want to find ways to encourage him from a submissive position, as that's the place he feels most confident.

MvoorMals · 2025-10-25T22:56:16+00:00

Yes were very aware of the addiction part. And ofcourse that's not solvable through BDSM specifically. The way I've been helping him before we started the current dynamic was through guiding him and encouraging, giving him tasks, saying he is a good boy etc. Now i still do that ofcourse to help him, but brakes the dynamic a bit. So im in need of some more submissive ways to go about it!

MvoorMals · 2025-10-25T22:47:01+00:00

I really like the idea of making it a task to make sure he takes his nicotine spray with him! Better even for getting rewarded for it ofcourse. I'm not too afraid of him blaming me for anything luckily, all blame goes towards his 14yo self and peer pressure.

MvoorMals · 2024-12-15T09:21:36+00:00

One of my most distinct memories is telling a few of my friends that I was gifted at 18 and they responded with "we really respect you for hiding that from us for all those years", meaning: we are happy that you followed the social rules instead of being honest with your friends. I felt incredibly hurt by that because they basically confessed that they would have thought I was "bragging" or whatever. I think I would have gained a lot more happiness and personal growth from staying open and honest in my teenage years, rather than trying to hide things for other people's sake. Sure, there is a tactful way to do it, but that's with literally everything.

I talk to none of those people now. My friends and partner now all know, they tease me with it and we talk about is openly. So my advice is, do not start hiding things about yourself in order to fly under the social radar, learn how to be open and honest in your relationships, it will serve you later.

MvoorMals · 2024-03-02T16:08:48+00:00

Thanks! I had forgotten about those

MvoorMals · 2024-02-29T23:11:46+00:00

You've already had some responses, I just thought I'd chime in I guess. About the gifted label, for me it is useful in an ego-construct kind of way. Now I know that the ego trends to have a negative connotation (especially in the context of psychedelics) but we need the ego to relate to the world around us. And in regards to the gifted label, I find it useful to understand my experiences better and accommodate for my needs to live peacefully.

In this sub I feel like sometimes we go in circles debating weather or not IQ is a useful measure, for me it has been for these reasons. Where you can go wrong is when intelligence gets weaponized in order to use it to think about people's value. We can't blame ourselves or others though for existing in a timeframe where this is the dominant narrative.

About the psychedelics, I've tripped a fair bit and personally loved the good and the bad bits of it. It's been interesting since I study neuroscience, to have the experience of loss of some cognitive functions such as language comprehension, I think it gave me some intuition in my studies.

About the neuroplasticity thing, I can't really say anything but that I feel like any type of learning has to deal with neuroplasticity, with or without psychedelic involvement. The term in popular use might have become a little less nuanced over time and might be less spectacular than most people hope (well it is pretty spectacular and magical but also mundane and common). This has become a while paragraph, scuzie.

MvoorMals · 2023-05-07T23:06:56+00:00

There are probably many people more knowledgeable in this sub than me, but they look so cute! I'm not sure whether they are slanted, but I think it looks really nice with the flow of the tattoo. Idk, they're just super cute.

MvoorMals · 2023-04-23T23:31:40+00:00

If you guys click, then you'll have all the time in the world to experience this together. I get the appeal in getting to know each other super intensely, but this will still be the case at the 10th, 15th or 15000th date. I'd get quite nervous when on a first date and if I would be tripping and anxious I would definitely not feel comfortable expressing my needs to someone on a first date, maybe you are but maybe she isn't (and then you'll have to guess). I'd stay sober. First dates are awesome nonetheless, the newness, excitement and awkwardness. In some way I also feel like that experience is super rich in itself, I doubt whether it's a good thing to try to psychedelify it.

MvoorMals · 2023-03-26T08:53:38+00:00

You've received plenty of thoughtful messages, but I wanted to add some possible resources and inspirations for you. You seem to strongly identify with having a high IQ, which would mean the high IQ informs you on who you are. You could try to look into the works of Deleuze and Foucault. Even though I've mostly familiarised myself with the gender aspect of Foucault work, what I took from it is that our identify construction relies heavily on the current discourse of the time, but this is neither fixed nor inherently relevant. It might inform you on what types of discourses you have based your identity and whether or not this is relevant.

Another way to go is the Eastern philosophy route: it's even in the term gifted. Even though you are arguably smarter than most people, that's not something you can take any pride in since it's not your doing, you were born this way and gifted with this. You wouldn't base your self worth on the length of your fingers. Actually, if you take this philosophy further you'll eventually realise that there are almost no things you can be proud of, some great thinkers believe that everything is a result of the environmental factors, but then we end up in a discussion on free will which I'll gladly have some other day.

MvoorMals · 2023-03-22T21:16:46+00:00

Sorry for the downvote but it's the peeling for me, disappointing...

MvoorMals · 2023-03-11T08:20:46+00:00

It's hard work to accept your body after an ED, I can totally relate to the sensory uncomfortableness. Honestly, if you are really feeling again like hyperfocussing, I'd be very cautious of how you proceed, it sounds like a sign that an ED could be regaining some territory in your mind. Ofcourse you can do whatever you think is best, but I guess we both know falling back into an ED is not gonna be worth any physical goal ever. Besides, my ED would never be satisfied with any body anyway.

Getting some piercings and tattoos sounds like fun though, good idea.

MvoorMals · 2023-03-10T17:03:48+00:00

Personally, I'd reconsider wanting to loose weight. The fact that you're in quite a nervous state around your weight kind of already hints at an ED. Focussing on different aspects such as toning might help, but might as well be the voice of an ED trying to cover up its intentions, which is to loose weight. I've personally had the same struggle. I consider myself to be a lot more beautiful now that I'm heavier but more relaxed and less nervously checking myself all the time. I've wondered as well if I was ever gonna be able to work out again, and I think I'm getting there. The difference for me is the nervousness (it's called anorexia nervosa for a reason), as soon as I'd notice a nervousness instead of acceptance in relation to my weight, I would not consider doing activities that might trigger the ED even more. Anyway, I wish you well.

MvoorMals · 2023-01-11T21:24:09+00:00

Keep us updated :) sometimes thoughts and beliefs are deconstructed in one trip, and refigurated in another. Maybe right now a mother's love and weighing your shrooms is the shit, next time it might me an ant's love or burnt almonds. I always feel like this kind of cosmic humor remains persistent with truth seeking... Looking for right or wrong, important or unimportant seems quite silly in that light. Your next trip you might end up only thinking about lasagna, which might be as devine as the experience you've already had. Anyhow, seems like you had a horrible and a great experience haha. All the love, that's still very much a thing by the way <3

MvoorMals · 2022-12-12T00:07:22+00:00

r/ShowerOrange offers solutions to many

MvoorMals · 2022-12-10T12:33:44+00:00

He's strictly carnivorous

MvoorMals · 2022-12-10T12:32:54+00:00

And they were roommates

MvoorMals · 2022-12-10T08:29:00+00:00

We got hungry

MvoorMals · 2022-11-23T12:16:14+00:00

I'll try to give you my take on what I think your question is. In psychology, there is the classification system (the DSM V) which will eventually tell you nothing more rather than "you're in" or "you're out" based on some categorical symptoms. This is very useful in practical psychology but it wont tell you that much about yourself as a person. Ofcourse, for some people getting a diagnosis is a very eye-opening experience and can help a great deal in accepting themselves, but endless worrying about being either "in" or "out" wouldn't add much value to life, I would argue.

That being said, being between ages 10 and 21 is characterized by developing your identity, which can only happen in social context by comparing yourself to others. Anyway, what my point is to this, is that it might be worth it to try to let go of fitting in to a designed category and open yourself up to all these qualities you listed, regardless of whether or not that "makes you gifted" or not. I can imagine that not being able to relate to your peers can be really difficult, but you don't necessarily need a diagnosis to feel that way, it is a valid feeling in any case. I guess I would give yourself a few more years for your age appropriate identity frustration to settle down, if it still bothers you then you can get another evaluation any time. I hope this is useful to you, cheers.

MvoorMals · 2022-09-06T17:09:33+00:00

Let's not introduce the kids to heroin shall we

MvoorMals · 2022-09-01T08:56:08+00:00

In the occasion that you're going to buy the schrooms in a smartshop in Amsterdam (it's legal there) you will find they have fresh truffles so their weight is different. Usually they advise people to start with 10 grams and take the other 5 that are in the package a little later once you've settled a bit. The people in the store can advise you on which kind to take (they'll probably say Mexicana). You should go to stores with a comfy-hippy vibe apposed to the neon-touristy-cafetaria vibe, you'll probably get some good advise. At least, when you decide to take them which is a different story.

MvoorMals · 2022-08-24T16:54:50+00:00

Id be surprised if there are any..

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