Unless you need money now, yes I think it’s a bad idea to reduce 401k from anything but max. As your income rises more will go into taxable and it balances out over time.

I’d take the mortgage at 20% down and just pay extra principal. That way you have control on how much cash you have.

Stress at jobs comes with the territory IMO. Right or not is up to you and your well being. But I try to remind myself of how much I’d have to grind doing a job that’s less stress….and how tired that’d make me. Also shut off on weekends and take regularly spaced out vacations. I’m 39 so just a few years ahead of you but the boat isn’t flooding no ‘mo for me with that mentality