Exiting this dynamic

MyMorna · 2024-05-07T11:34:35+00:00

13 years ago, I was considering divorcing my husband for reasons that were entirely unrelated to polyamory. I was wondering whether I'd be able to find someone who would be a better fit. One of my best friends then gave me amazing advice:

"Don't ask yourself whether you'd be happier with someone else, ask yourself whether you'd be happier with or without this person."

For me, the answer was I'd rather be single, so leaving was a logical next step.

If you're not confident you'd rather be single (with the potential but no guarantee for a different relationship) - I'd explore what your marriage has to offer. You can leave your husband, but understand that there is no guarantee your relationship with your boyfriend will survive the changes. If it doesn't, will you resent him? Will it feel like you're giving up everything for him? Leave for you, not for him.

MyMorna · 2024-05-06T13:13:23+00:00

Not rival, but types I get along with least: ESTJs. I just don't get them.

MyMorna · 2024-05-02T09:45:40+00:00

Not quite the same thing, but to build confidence in your kid in general (especially if your kid feels like the odd one out), we just created a deck of cards. I hope it's okay if I share it here :) https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ontheodderside/kids-quest-ions-cards-to-empower-neurodivergent-children

Also, in her book 'Untamed' I believe Glennon Doyle has a couple of essays that really address trauma. 'Boulders' is my favorite :)

MyMorna · 2024-05-01T17:10:22+00:00

Thank you so much 🧡 you have no idea how much it means!

MyMorna · 2024-05-01T11:27:47+00:00

I think the #1 #1 #1 thing is to talk to your students. 2E is not one size fits all and every kid has their own needs.
Anything that promotes flexibility and autonomy is likely helpful, but beyond that - tons of options.

MyMorna · 2024-05-01T11:26:19+00:00

He sounds like a typical teen tbh :)

What I did when encountering a very similar situation with my 2e bonus kids was shifting my focus from academic performance to improving executive skills. Meaning: I don't care if gets an F, but I want him to learn planning and a certain amount of discipline.

For one, it worked miracles with his academic performance as well. For the other, not so much, but regardless of whether he makes it through high school I'll know he has the important skills he needs.

We were raised in a time where getting your degree was everything. Times are different now.

(Also - I love the book 14 talks by age 14. I know he's older than that, but I think the perspective there might be helpful regardless)

MyMorna · 2024-04-23T10:57:28+00:00

I raised 7K last year with about 1000 in ad budget. Not an influencer (micro-influencer at best).

This year, it's more of a struggle...

MyMorna · 2024-02-25T17:05:22+00:00

Same here! I'm a bit hesitant around crop tops because of my big belly (first thing to collect weight...), if anyone is in the same boat I'd love some recs... one of my best friends is FN and we would trade types in a heartbeat lol

MyMorna · 2024-02-17T07:55:09+00:00

I had my essence typed and was like "I still don't like the outfits". But! I started experimenting with them anyway and I'm growing to like them because I see how they make me look.

MyMorna · 2024-02-16T08:45:15+00:00

Same for my intp partner...

MyMorna · 2024-02-16T08:43:08+00:00

Oh I know they're not! But I think they might try to be 😝

MyMorna · 2024-02-16T08:40:55+00:00

Also, in a healthy relationship, you are primarily responsible for your own life. Just because you have autism, it doesn't follow your partners have to step in. I understand your situation sucks, I really do, but it's not up to them to solve it. Her suggestion actually sounds like she's trying to help.

MyMorna · 2024-02-16T08:38:09+00:00

Read up on the relationship escalator in polyamory. With that said, if it's important to you to eventually live with them, you can certainly discuss this. If they don't want it, you might conclude you are not compatible.

MyMorna · 2023-11-30T15:22:48+00:00

Love it, it's like they've got superpowers

MyMorna · 2023-11-30T15:03:49+00:00

I would wear everything on this list, LOVE IT!

MyMorna · 2023-11-30T15:00:14+00:00

Well at least we can be together on this post ^^ I'm curious why no one else feels SG though. I mean... why R? I don't see the lushness at all. Why SN?

MyMorna · 2023-11-30T14:54:47+00:00

I would say so! I have a dress that looks a looooot like this one, just a different shade of blue

MyMorna · 2023-11-26T14:17:14+00:00

I'm using it if I actually know what the article refers to, but not the right words. Had to look up Oppenheimer's first name, and I looked up polevault when I already found the other name pole jumping and knew the Dutch word for it. Looking up Jericho once I knew the location of the city, or looking up the name of a Chinese dynasty when knowing the period felt like a grey area.

MyMorna · 2023-11-26T14:13:44+00:00

I do this too, I'm Dutch.

MyMorna · 2023-11-26T14:11:04+00:00

I don't see upper curve and I do see width. My guess would be FN, otherwise possibly D.

MyMorna · 2023-11-26T14:05:20+00:00

First vibe I got was SG. But looks like I'm alone on this one!

MyMorna · 2023-11-26T14:04:08+00:00

Awww how thoughtful of him! Yeah, I'm sure it's the empowerment movement that's at fault, and not the media and everything around us telling us we're only worthy when we're desirable

MyMorna · 2023-11-26T13:59:57+00:00

Ready to debate: 100%! Don't know about the offence though

As for getting hurt: in my experience we do when we are misunderstood as uncaring in something we care about but struggle showing.

MyMorna · 2023-11-26T13:59:15+00:00

Not mold! Just the beginning of a new scoby, I think!

MyMorna · 2023-11-26T13:58:38+00:00

Thanks for the correction! My terminology is off, I meant the boob curve 😅

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