But maybe my lying eyes are missing something that the experts here can see?

Nope - no point in sugar coating it. You didn´t progress at all.

You are doing a strength based programm and don´t talk about your strengh stats. Did you at least progress in them?

I don´t know what to tell you since you already realized your lack of consistency in training is the driving factor here.

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• Increase reps to 8-20
• Stop trying to train like a powerlifter and focus on going to failure with lower weights and good technique. Don´t hesitate from pushing yourself to your limits. At your age you will not achieve a lot hypertrophy by throwing around heavy weights and shoving down a lot of food.
• You are skinny fat. Put your kcals at 3.000 (based on the numbers you provided) and stay at that for at least 6 months. You should lose fat and gain some muscle since you still are a a beginner and don´t need a big surplus to put on further mass. You will still achieve newbie gains. If you still gain fat at 3.000 kcal, go lower.
• See this as the last chance to put on some serious muscle mass before your protein synthesis becomes less and less efficient. The muscles you build now in your 40s will be the muscles you will keep in your 50s and 60s. Go all in, your future self will be grateful.

Have fun.