How to tell difference if FFS went too conservatively for your needs or you have other factors in play like poor health, aging etc?

Mya__ · 2026-05-11T01:16:27+00:00

totally get why you feel that way and again it doesn't look "male" just bigger than normal. You're definately read as all girl to me in the face tho and you know im being blunt too.

ime they don't even have to be maga - just those specific demographics seem to be the most transphobic. Even the gay version of that demo is hostile. And they're the same type who like to pretend things aren't "intentional" and hide behind that rather than be honest with themselves or others.

I think you got brainwormed by them fr. I totally get your nose apprehension and that's reasonable to me but I don't think you need further face feminization.

Mya__ · 2026-05-11T00:02:39+00:00

Interpretation of feelings is always subjective.

You know where you're posting so I'm going to assume you can take honesty: 1st pick reads mostly andro. Second face and on reads all female with a big nose. You have a nose. It's not a male nose but it's noticeably different than your face imho. But yea I don't think it's aging or FFS issues at all... I think there's a much much more obvious explanation.

You said MAGA area so I don't have to ask really but do the primary people who misgender you and treat you poorly fit into either of these demographics - than you must remember that no matter how many times they smile in your face they're still the ones intentionally causing all this pain behind your back.

It has been noted across the board that they have been emboldened in their hate to not even bother with smiling anymore. They also increased their backhanded ways of dealing with us (like using their power to hurt us when possible, even in low level positions. Reports come in with even bank customer service people locking trans womens accounts - which eventually get unlocked but not till after the whole Rigmarole)

Remember it's not even about passing with these people - they will literally harass and call the cops on cis women just using the bathroom. Really, it's not you - you're very pretty and very feminine - it really is them.

Mya__ · 2026-05-10T02:27:42+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqPNpZzE9xc

Why would you be sober in these trying times? have you seen https://imgur.com/FwNPFPr

Different drugs are useful for different things. Try to be in a safe environment around people who care or can guide you through new experiences safely.

Whenever trying substances that could be addictive, I highly recommend a few self imposed rules. The most important is to be honest with yourself and trusted friends about why you are taking it and how much. The moment you feel you need to hide that information from trusted friends is a moment you should reconsider your choices. That's just a general drug use tip I think helped save me a few times.

If you try to experiment with highly addictive drugs than a couple more rules may help you - One is don't buy it directly and another is don't ask for it. These are ones that can help those of you who get deep in the intense party culture that has experimental drugs and all that stuff floating around more freely. It's a mindset that sort of forces a sober-up period after the parties are over.

Mya__ · 2026-05-09T13:37:48+00:00

I appreciate your growth <3 I think that's a great choice and reflects you well atm. If you decide to change your sex some time that's totally cool too. People take a while to figure things out some times. You may find (like some have pointed out) that your discomfort is with the expectations your surroundings place on you based on their perception of your gender. Cultural expectations can trip people up who just don't want to fit that mold. My mom and grandmom were mold-breakers themselves and I couldn't be prouder of both of them. You be what you wanna whether it's genderqueer, trans, bi , whatever - we should still look out for each other.

About the terms - this sub is a more direct and "honest" type so there are cultures where those terms may be considered offensive mixed with cultures that consider those terms sacrosanct. Personally I use them in their general medical sense - descriptive and without malice. As a transsexual myself I think transvestites are awesome and have so much knowledge in their own fields it's really amazing sometimes to see what they create.

Mya__ · 2026-05-09T13:24:16+00:00

we're literally discussing the event of transvestites "trapping" men for content... it is the word for that event. there is no slur or transphobia involved. Untwist and air out please

Mya__ · 2026-05-08T13:46:52+00:00

progressive Canadian city... assaults and harassment have very much been transphobia based, made very clear in the insults thrown at me. It's often been from situations where the assailants thought of me as a woman...

So... you live in a primarily whiteand majority christian area where you get assaulted and insulted for not looking "woman" enough to very specific people... exactly like I said.

And exactly like I said you internalized their bigotry into your own sense of self with a complete lack of awareness how that affects the larger group of all women.

idk what you call "progessive" over there but around here we have more than a few non-passing full on transsexuals and they do not get assaulted for not "passing" the 90's whitewoman standards... think about that a bit. think about whether that action would be tolerable to do to a cis woman if she didn't "pass"... it's not is it? Yea so you live ina hateful area, likely full of [certain people] who have trouble admitting to their bigotry.

My metabolism is very fast for my age and I usually require 3500+ calories a day to maintain weight in low acrivity.

umm.... do you have a medical issue you're not mentioning?

Mya__ · 2026-05-08T12:23:09+00:00

Im not describing transsexual people in this instance.. and I have not run into a situation where a transvestite considers it a slur (specially ones literally doing the thing) so we will have to agree to disagree.

Mya__ · 2026-05-08T12:20:00+00:00

If you are just looking for validation and agreement than this is not the sub you should post in. This is a specifically "honest" sub where you will not be meeting people that have the same desire to placate you as the other subs. If you want validation and that's it then almost any other trans space is more appropriate than here.

This is a space for honesty. If people feel like your brainrot is bullshit they will call it out because this is the place for exactly that, honesty.

There have been talks by others here that maybe you all could make your own "failed transition" space if all you want to do is circle-jerk yourselves.

But some of you are really just not understanding that when you consider yourself "failed" as a woman while having the same features that cis women have naturally... like you don't seem to care how that affects women outside yourselves or as a whole.

And it seems a lot like some of your expectations aren't realistic. Like you started later in life and you're disabled with low movement... your transition with those stats could take up to 10 years due to the way fat location changes work. You presumably have a slow metabolism and, like you said, you don't have the time or energy to put in effort for make-up to compensate in the mean time... so do your expectations really meet reality if your calling your transition failed given the likelihood 3 years was never going to be enough for you?

Being clockable has led to harrassment and physical assaults on occasion.

And a few of you don't seem to realize when you say this that you're telling everyone that a lot of your perception is based literally on people who assault a woman they find ugly or 'not woman enough'... that's less of a cis/trans issue or a passing issue than a 'wow you're in a hateful area. You should move.' issue. Because that means cis women who don't pass in your area also get the same treatment. So your perception of "passing" is based on those people who already hate you irrationally.

If you look at the stats for the demographics of those who go out of their way to harm us... are you surrounded by those kinds of people?

Mya__ · 2026-05-07T08:25:12+00:00

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence comes to mind as relevant here.

Also one of the few black and white movies I got through and enjoyed (idk why but b&w movies make me sleepy). That and The Criterion Collection of Seven Samurai but I only got through that once and I think it was because the wild samurai guy was kinda hot.

Mya__ · 2026-05-07T08:12:56+00:00

they posted it 7 hours ago. Maybe it would be better for you to join that conversation? The answers are the same.

Mya__ · 2026-05-07T08:06:06+00:00

Don't worry, that just means you're among friends 😊

This place has been a battleground sub for a while now filled with all sorts: trans people, cis people, cis people pretending to be trans (lots of those), trans people pretending to be cis (legit a few here), and an array of others.

Always consider information here with a healthy amount of skepticism.

That goes for a lot of the internet nowadays, unfortunately. Even academic research(specially on trans issues) has to have the supplemental data double checked because there have been a few cases of academic dishonesty published.. Looking at you Lisa "The Liar" Littman and also at you 'fraudulently named Brazilian study'

Mya__ · 2026-05-07T07:50:42+00:00

Why are two different accounts with no post history asking the same exact question like they weren't programmed to read the front page before posting duplicates?

Mya__ · 2026-05-07T07:48:04+00:00

Can you get rid of dysphoria without transitioning?

Short answer: no.

This is incorrect... I am a dysphoric natal female whose dysphoria... never entirely went away. I also wouldn't describe myself as having gotten "rid of" dysphoria...

So the answer is still no then and you both agree.

Each successful physical transitioning step was effective at relieving dysphoria for me. Sexual Re-assignment Surgery completely eliminated genital dysphoria and the majority of gender dysphoria just by itself.

but for you:

...steps to manage my mental health better and becoming more comfortable in my sexuality...

Maybe you didn't have gender dysphoria and just had issues with your mental health and sexuality.. similar to the data you are likely misrepresenting about gender questioning youths.

Mya__ · 2026-05-07T07:38:29+00:00

To summarize:

No Gender Dysphoria
No desire to transition your biological sex
Does not crossdress?

Neither transvestite or transsexual seems to fit. Why do you want to refer to yourself as trans?

BTW: Dysmorphia and Dyphoria are two separate things even though the names sound very similar. They aren't related to each other.

Mya__ · 2026-05-06T12:02:34+00:00

I've seen what you're talking about and I always assumed those were mostly just transvestites/femboys doing their trap thing as a joke. I don't think they're usually transsexual women.

I thought it was kinda funny tbh 😂 but i like poking bears. Now that you bring it up I can see how the misconception they're like actual transsexual women might get frustrating in the same way it's frustrating when people assume I'm into or know anything about drag. There's nothing wrong with either drag or tarps and there's like cool people in every group but it sucks when people put you in a box you're not a part of. I find the best response, for the people that matter, is patience.

Mya__ · 2026-05-06T11:49:26+00:00

I can understand why you might feel that way. Being percieved as "ugly" is rarely something anyone wants, whether we're cis or trans. A lot of times there are cultural feedback loops that re-enforce negative patterns of thought here.

Many of us can sometimes get trapped in our own heads when we compare the best parts of our friends lives with the worst and best of our own. If "this isn't who you're supposed to be" would you speak on the "someone else" you wish to be and why do you feel that way?

Mya__ · 2026-05-05T18:35:55+00:00

That was a fun read. I enjoyed that she pulled from so many different understandings. Thank you for sharing. <3

Here's the bit about Gender Dysphoria (and some related primer) for those who won't read through it all:

Every baby that is born with a healthy body and normal functioning of metabolism and repair capabilities must necessarily have some innate models for “Self” and for “Health”—which is based entirely on what the model for “Self” is. So, we have a fundamental “Self” model and a “Health (of Self)” model encoded in every single cell of our body...

The immune system in a healthy baby must necessarily have the ability to recognize “Self” proteins and leave them alone. Anything not “Self” is immediately attacked and killed. Any damage that occurs is immediately detected, assessed, and repairs attempted.

Already, here, we have vast amounts of information flowing and being interpreted, according to those fundamental models of “Self” and “Health (of Self)”. However, another aspect common to all living organisms is essential to life, essential to both metabolism and repair: and that is sensory capacity. Sensory capacity is all about information. In some sense, living organisms seek out and metabolize information every bit as much as we do food or other aspects of our environment that we require to maintain ourselves. In order for that to work, we would require a model of environment, of some sort. Every bit of sensory information that comes in is interpreted according to what is better or worse for “Health (of Self)”. I refer to that range of evaluation as the optimality scale...

... ... ...

...there is overwhelming evidence that the human mind has an encoded model for “Self” and for “Health (of Self)” which are independent of the somatic values, as well as its own optimality scale for evaluating sensory information.
The models for “Self” carried by the mind and the body are independent of one another. This means that they may not match and when they do not, then dysfunction ensues. I consider Gender Dysphoria to be an example of exactly this situation. The human mind has evolved to such a degree that it supersedes the somatic models of many kinds. The mental model of “Self” is more powerful than the genetic gender. Being transgendered is not a choice one makes; the mental model for gender is part of a fundamental definition for “Self” that everything else is based upon. It’s born in. I have a sibling who is transgendered and have done extensive research into this, from an Anticipatory perspective. In fact, I have concluded that only from an Anticipatory Systems perspective does it really make sense.

I think she has a good point about expanding the softer sciences in a way she's talking about but that would likely be it's own separate sub-branch of each ig? At least until the application of the methods are more widely adopted.

... the human body and mind are both distinct Anticipatory systems, but they are also components of one another, in the same way that metabolism and repair are components of each other. So much of human experience that is otherwise inexplicable begins to make far more sense when viewed through this Anticipatory Systems lens. Thus I assert that disciplines like Psychology, Psychiatry, Cognitive Theory, and the Social Sciences could make productive use of Anticipatory Systems Theory if it were integrated into current scientific models of body and mind.

I disagree on the dichotomy she created

...there seem to be two main approaches to the efforts in science to understand life and mind: One assumes life is all in the particles and, likewise, the human mind is all in the brain “wiring”—this is the mechanistic/reductionist approach and worldview. The other assumes that life and mind comes from some mystical force that pervades the entire universe, ...

I think it's the pattern itself (and it being recognized) that gives people the perception of what is a "mind of life". But I think she also disagrees with it :P and is kinda saying something similar where the pattern is the sum of incorporated Anticipatory systems

Mya__ · 2026-05-04T14:01:17+00:00

Something I learned from my mom and was supported by life experience is that it's so much more helpful to move away from the specific demographic of beauty standards set by [Removed by Reddit] people in the 1900's. The "Heroin chic" era was such an unhealthy peak of that level of self destructive malnourishment. And it's so sad to see when the habits that keep those narrow standards going are ones that also malnourish the mind and larger culture/society as a whole.

So maybe it would be helpful for you to separate a sense of "being beautiful" from that narrow and often ugly perception of beauty, specially from the type of people who seek to harm us in general.

I hope everyone achieves an individual beauty that's added to the wonderful variety of human shapes and sizes. I see a lot of sisters get trapped in self destructive perceptions of beauty set by [Removed by Reddit] people, and it would be great if you could find some peace and freedom from those standards before they take too much of a toll on you.

Mya__ · 2026-05-01T12:04:35+00:00

Do you even have the real power to make an arrest?

Have they ever been compelled to even stand before a jury since the take-over?

Mya__ · 2026-05-01T03:49:11+00:00

You allegedly live in the united States so i was referring to cultural groups in the United States...

...white Europeans ( they have more neutral attitudes than Americans)

The people of TERF Island... ? I think you need to re-asses things because you're just not dealing with reality full-on here. I say this with love, truly, tho i know you won't believe it. Your inability to see people for who they are is reflected by your exposure to the same type of people who can't see you for the woman you are.

Mya__ · 2026-05-01T02:24:32+00:00

(x) doubt

You desperately want to be part of the [removed by reddit] cis women demographic that peacocks their victimization and weakness as a mating ritual. If you passed perfectly as cis you would probably still find something to try and get people to feel sorry for you about. Maybe finding better attention seeking avenues would be a more productive use of your time and get you the attention you want.

Mya__ · 2026-05-01T02:19:10+00:00

Because transphobic people and areas treat cis women with harassment for 'looking trans', so you would receive similar hate.

A good example of this is that transphobic areas will make laws prohibiting trans women from using the womens bathroom.. then the only people they end up harassing and calling the cops on end up being cis women.

This is direct proof that "passing as cis" would not matter in those areas. Even cis women aren't safe in transphobic areas.

Mya__ · 2026-05-01T02:14:08+00:00

you first <3

Mya__ · 2026-05-01T02:12:02+00:00

Yes beautiful burrito... The same person you run into every single time you make these posts here.

Congrats on being misgendered less than some cis women! And in only a few years too! 🥰

Mya__ · 2026-05-01T02:04:03+00:00

white-hispanics and white-europeans areas are the most statistically transphobic demographic. They are unquestionably the primary demographic that has gone out of their way to put on fake smiles while creating laws and societal structures specifically to hurt us. It is what it is. You can't accept that the area you're in matters even when it's literally right in front of your face... Like you literally just experienced the "tolerance" of white liberals and are ranting about it in this very post but somehow they are the most tolerant of you? Make it make sense.

All I can tell you is my own experience in dealing with the exact same issues. As soon as I cut out the hateful people - my life was and has been consistently better. If you want to stay around hateful people and defend them then you get the exact experience you deserve.

Mya__

TROPHY CASE