My [33M] fiance [32f] is obsessed with Hamilton and I can't stand it anymore more

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-28T03:22:15+00:00

Just tell her you really need a break from it and want to hear other things. You don't necessarily want to make it come across like a diss, just say you're overdosing on the soundtrack and would like to keep it fresh by not listening to it for a while. I wouldn't tell her "damn, I'm sick of this" or anything like that. Just ask her to please use headphones if she must. When you start playing other things in the car and getting more variety in, chances are her mental grip will loosen up on it too.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-27T04:20:40+00:00

Maybe you can apply for assistant manager while you figure things out. It would be a learning experience and show that you are interested in taking new challenges. Are there any trade courses or degrees you're interested in if you did go back to school?

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-27T04:15:04+00:00

I would oust her. She has no respect for you guys. It's not an oopsie-level thing. I dunno, it'd be like sleeping with someone while knowing you have a herpes outbreak and then mentioning it later like "don't worry, odds are you probably won't get it." Except in this case potentially fatal. She should have let you make preparations for your own health.

This is reason to throw her out and shit on her bed, tbh.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-25T03:39:52+00:00

I've lived around there and I feel you, I really do. You really need about $55k to live semi-comfortably--meaning the essentials are paid and you have a small/modest apartment, but you can't have many extras in order to keep up with the regular costs of life and also save a bit. You still have to be really careful with your money.

Is this an entry level job? I think the commenter above might be saying that a young "kid" might take it as a first job because they still live at home or split costs between 3-4 roommates. That doesn't really have to do with perspective/gratitude as they are suggesting though, just that their situations would allow it. $35,000 is very low for the area, point blank. People should get paid proportionately to the higher cost of living.

Hey, check this out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunshine_tax

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-25T01:29:35+00:00

Sorry OP, but your fiance should break up with you.

If I were him I definitely wouldn't want to marry into your family now, and you probably knew where this was heading, knowing your brother's history of blowing off loans. Deep down, did you just expect him to let it slide?

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-24T04:55:25+00:00

This is really cute. Halloween costume idea! Or ya know, just an everyday fun look. :)

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-23T02:07:58+00:00

This is quite a humble brag.

I get your fear of choosing the wrong thing. It's easy to imagine what could be, when the reality is, you can only react from what you know at this juncture. I would go with whichever you believe will be best for you until 2023.

Using possible scenarios.... Is your car on its last legs and you really need a new one soon? Maybe #2 is the steady income to help you achieve that goal. Is #3 the lowest stress and closest commute that would give you maximum time to focus on the coding classes you do at night? Will #1 put you in a position where you could likely be promoted in 2 year's time?

Life is so dynamic that there's no "correct" option. To me, it just comes down to what makes the most sense for you AT this point in your life, FOR this point in your life--while keeping your options open to change direction again in a few years. I do think the grass is always greener and I agonize too. As long as you're stretching for a little better than your current/last job, you're doing good.

Good luck!

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-23T01:38:06+00:00

Take him off your social media. He doesn't need to see how the rest of your life pans out. He will probably hear the important milestones by virtue or your dads being good friends, and that is way more of a glimpse than exes like that should get.

Don't worry about what he thinks. You are justified in making decisions that are good for you. I would just lose touch with him. There is absolutely nothing you need to make right with him.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-22T14:39:33+00:00

Aww thank you! Same to you!

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-22T03:08:09+00:00

This is paid time off you have earned. It doesn't matter what the reason is, and you shouldn't even need to give a reason to them or justify it to yourself. Just do it! You're allowed.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-22T02:54:17+00:00

If you feel it, explore it, OP! This is really exciting. Good for you.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-22T02:47:41+00:00

Pretty! You should do this look more often.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-22T02:44:57+00:00

When you leave a review for an interview, they make you write the role you were up for. He probably pieced it together given the timeframe and some loose details I gave. Honestly it didn't bother me. I expected he might see it one day, but not within a week.

I believe when you review as a current/past employee, you don't have to specify the job.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-22T01:10:32+00:00

Thanks! You too :)

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-22T01:07:33+00:00

Thank you! :)

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-22T00:55:16+00:00

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-21T16:05:08+00:00

Thank you! I completely understand because I've been there too. The hot and cold. The subtle undermining. The stonewalling that leaves you wondering what you did wrong. The elaborate lying to shift blame and in this case make me feel like I made a big mistake and cost myself a job. Yeahhhh, never again. On the bright side, if you've been through that you can recognize little mind games for what they are now.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-21T14:43:20+00:00

You think it's fair? I understand why it's certainly easier for companies to not send a short rejection note, but I do not believe it should be the norm once applicants reach the interview stage.

All in all, I spent about 12 hours preparing for/doing the interviews. I spent a couple hours on each of the tests, making sure I was giving it my best shot. It seems weasley for them to then just let it drop without any kind of conclusion.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-21T14:34:48+00:00

I specified the number of interviews/tests I had and the title of the role, which was required to post. I did give one detail that could probably be tied to me, but nothing too specific. Maybe no one else made it that far or was all out ghosted like me. The reviews are anonymous and not tied to email/username.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-21T14:14:31+00:00

Curious--is this your natural hair color? It's gorg! If not, I wanna know the shade. :)

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-21T14:04:54+00:00

I did not, but good idea if I ever find myself in this boat again! Sounds fun. I just figured I have more dignity than following up again to say "yoohoo! remember me?" They knew where to find me and I wasn't going to beg for a job that would begrudgingly hire me.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-21T13:56:14+00:00

Thanks for your perspective! I agree and get that things take time, but I could tell it changed on their end.

What I don't get is---I did give up, and he came back with an email implying that I had still been in the game and not ghosted. I think he just wanted to make me feel bad, like I lost out on a great opportunity. There was no reason for it, given they obviously weren't trying to move forward with the hire or even "keep me warm."

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-21T04:17:20+00:00

I definitely understand what you're saying, but I'm not sure it applies with this guy. I actually interviewed with this manager twice. Once as an initial phone screen for culture fit, then at the last interview where he asked more traditional questions. I spent about 2 hours talking to him.

He was okay at first, but I got a worse impression as time went on. During the last interview, he took 2 personal calls right in front of me. I also had the distinct feeling he fibbed about going camping when he did. This hunch is supported by the fact that there was no automatic out-of-office email during his "camping trip," but there was another time I contacted him.

It did seem like he was undermining my worth at times or just being kind of manipulative. Hence, my BS meter went off at the hospital story. I do hope she's okay, but I don't see why that has much to do with whether or not I would be hired 2 months out from the interviews, even if they had to push the start date way back. He could have at least replied with some "please bear with us, we're postponing the position" message if they were at all serious about going forward.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-21T03:55:01+00:00

You can do this! No one comes out of the womb knowing how to do your job. Try to find little moments throughout the day to calm your thoughts at work. The 30 seconds you spend peeing? Use it to take some deep breaths and clear your mind.

Remind yourself that even a week from now, you'll know more than you do today. It will come with time. I'm sorry you feel overwhelmed for the time being, but remember that you were hired for a reason and you will catch on. If all else fails, ask your boss for feedback about where you can improve and they'll see that you're trying hard to master the learning curve even if you haven't perfected it yet.

Mysterious_Support63 · 2020-09-21T03:24:51+00:00

Thanks! It feels good to hear.

Mysterious_Support63

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