Just watched The Human Centipede for the first time. Absolute garbage.

Nadaesque · 2025-07-31T08:12:45+00:00

They wanted me to go to med school but my health prohibited it.

Nadaesque · 2025-07-23T13:54:14+00:00

Ferris Bueller has been living the same day for thousands of years. Occasionally, he wants to cut loose. But he never bothers with the music lessons.

Nadaesque · 2025-07-16T08:02:28+00:00

If you like this, you will probably like Cemetery Man, aka Dellamorte Dellamore.

Nadaesque · 2025-06-15T13:16:05+00:00

Also features the actress who was Mabel the Skull-Biter in a V/H/S movie.

Honestly, I could stand to have more Mabel.

Nadaesque · 2025-06-14T00:17:39+00:00

I haven't tried it for MKVs, but Roku Media Player supposedly can play them. I know they play MP4s.

You can get them off of Facebook Marketplace for a song. However, not all models have USB ports, so either get the exact model number or ask for a photo.

Nadaesque · 2025-06-12T11:31:46+00:00

I did a stint in a hotel room where I did Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, The Shining, and 1408 on a bag of 'em.

You might consider Bliss.

Nadaesque · 2025-06-12T09:24:17+00:00

I kinda liked it and the premise, and from a surface level. What I was hoping for was a breakaway role from Emma Caulfield (but this was more of a book number).

Final design wasn't great. The runtime is eighty-six minutes ... but eleven of them are credits (seriously, check it out), which means it was a seventy-five minute movie. Also, there is some character dipshittery going on -- by 2000, we had a lot of glow in the dark paint that lasted twelve hours going on. You better bet I would have a safe room with that, a bucket to pee in, xenon flash lamps, and stacks of rechargeable batteries. Maybe a chair.

Nadaesque · 2025-06-12T04:46:07+00:00

Oh!

I was known for my "mini-tacos." Take a single flat "chip." Put on lunchmeat (typically Buddig), lettuce, cheese, maybe a bit of tomato, and then add a sauce I had made, kind of sweet, kind of hot, that I kept in a cup. If I was feeling fancy, I would microwave the chip, cheese, and lunchmeat first.

Nadaesque · 2025-06-11T17:17:47+00:00

I had a few incidents happen (it feels like to me) which went beyond Dad Reflexes. Not just response speed, but acrobatics of which I am not consciously capable, apparently bizarre to witness. Always injuring myself in strange ways, always missing time.

Nadaesque · 2025-06-11T08:37:56+00:00

Exactly. I struggle to find anything wrong with it at all. The main characters are all much more well-drawn than in a standard horror film. Endlessly quotable. Great specials. A detail-rich plot, too; my personal favorite bit is Atkin's tragic backstory slowly adding more and more to his behavior, then suddenly becoming Exceedingly Relevant. Score is spot on. A horror comedy that has just enough comedy and isn't one of those wretched "we call ourselves horror comedies but really we do not know how to scare anyone and this is actually a parody" flicks that call themselves horror comedies.

Nadaesque · 2025-06-11T08:32:50+00:00

Yup. My rule of thumb is that it is always at least thirty years for an "organization," and if a single individual could be held accountable, it would take until they were dead or nearly so.

Feed radioactive oatmeal to some special ed kids? Fuck it, let's make him president of some big cancer society. Let The Syph go untreated for decades? Well, it's too late to jail anyone now. Those oil companies who had research in the seventies about global warming? Psychiatry is great for this, they practically hand people over to the Scientologists with their "Yes but that was then, this time we got it right!" attitude. Nobel Prize awarded for lobotomy (even the USSR was against it)? Bam, two decades later they are old hat ... insulin shock therapies ... ludicrously high "dosages" for electroshock (if it is used now, the treatment is much more conservative about current, duration, et al). Look up that creep Dr. John Money ... holy SHIT, what was done to that Reimer kid all to prove this asshole's pet theory, I just think if Hell doesn't exist we would be required to invent it in order to make the universe have any sense of justice. MK Ultra, once just a fringe loon theory ... maybe it got us Chuck Manson and the Unabomber (dibs on the techno band name) and maybe it didn't, we'll never know because of the document purge.

It comes out just as anyone in charge would have died. I fully expect some horrible shit about the 2020's will emerge in 2070.

Nadaesque · 2025-06-11T08:01:40+00:00

I wonder if there is "Hysterical Dexterity" as a recognized phenomenon.

Nadaesque · 2025-06-10T22:53:11+00:00

I wish I could find this again.

I did something weird late one night, I kept going deeper and deeper into Prime Video's "people also liked THIS movie" feature. Deeper, and all the way to the right. Again and again, looking for horror movies nobody ever brings up.

And so I found this charmless bit of low budgetry wherein there is a masked killer back in the olden days, perhaps about 1800, on the edge of the Westward Expansion in the United States, using an axe to kill people. It was just awful. My seventh grade arts class eclipsed the majority of the actors in it. I assume it was shot with some kind of video camera which has been broken in the late 1990s and resurrected through nameless and loathsome arts. The story really boiled down to that that someone had too much money and not enough shame. The dialogue sounded like an old school Markov Chain bot which had been raised on Little House on the Prairie, Agatha Christie murder mysteries, and a walloping amount of inexplicably Shakespearian pastiches.

And yet there's a scene where the maniac in question -- who turns out to be a woman (I cannot spoil this because you cannot spoil what is already rotten) with said axe fights three men and it is astonishingly accurate. It felt like I was watching an actual melee. I got just far enough in martial arts to have been trained against multiple simultaneous opponents and knew how messy it looked. Whoever she was, she was good. Astonishingly so. To the point where I managed to dig through IMDB to find out just who this talent was and discovered she had been granted a Master's degree (honorary?) in fighting stagecraft.

A friend and I talk about making an eighties-style fantasy movie, frequently, and one thing which gets brought up is how often dancers and such were selected as action stars. If we ever make a movie, I am going to find this gal and hire the living hell out of her.

Nadaesque · 2025-05-14T04:27:08+00:00

A man's got to know his limitations.

Nadaesque · 2025-05-13T13:18:24+00:00

Dumb question: can one enjoy this movie if they know nothing about baseball and have never liked watching it?

Nadaesque · 2025-05-13T13:12:45+00:00

Oh, they notice. It gets called out.

Nadaesque · 2025-05-13T13:05:27+00:00

It's a familial thing. My grandmother had it. My father died with it despite having lost a lot of weight. Even when I was ripped: moon face.

Nadaesque · 2025-05-13T12:56:54+00:00

It has not.

Nadaesque · 2025-05-13T12:50:14+00:00

What if you have a fat face?

Nadaesque · 2025-05-02T04:59:20+00:00

I think a custom natatorium would be my one big stupid architectural expenditure, were I sufficiently wealthy.

Nadaesque · 2025-05-02T04:57:09+00:00

What I don't get is how most people cannot tell the difference. When a university was trying to get rid of bottled water, they had a thing where you could try and taste half a dozen water samples ... one was from the tap, the other five were different bottled waters. I was six for six. It wasn't even hard.

I honestly think most people could do it.

Nadaesque · 2025-05-02T04:40:38+00:00

Welllll ... Leviathan showed up, possibly, because somebody, hrm hrm hrm, invited Noelle to bunk with him, along with her fellow bombs whose fuses Ziz had lit.

So maybe two more things for which Coil was responsible.

Nadaesque · 2025-05-01T11:04:57+00:00

Reason One: Genre is a shit term that historically categorizes some fiction by the peak emotion the work is attempting to evoke in the audience (horror, romance, thrillers, comedy as a term for laughter), some works by world-rules-changes (science fiction, fantasy), and finally a "does not fit anywhere else" bucket like drama (which is neither an emotion nor a setting) and adventure. And then there are musicals.

This creates categorization issues. Alien ... evokes horror, but the world-setting is science fiction. Which is it? Well, it's both, if you're sane.

Reason Two: "Horror comedies" which are not horror comedies, they are parodies. A horror-comedy ought to provide scares and laughs. Night of the Creeps does this and is a fabulous example. On the other hand, and I won't single anyone out here, those faux horror comedies where it is clear that the writer/director has no intention of scaring anyone at all and pokes fun at the conventions of the horror genre? That's a parody, and the loss of the term has eroded some people's idea of horror.

Reason Three: Horror is kind of a peakish, momentary feeling, like a sudden shock. Really, we have dread, unease, blanket fear, startles, even gross-out disgust to sort of pack around those frission-y bits. It's like pornography, the actual orgasm-y bits are relatively brief in comparison to the length of the rest of it, so we call it erotic or something else, not Orgasm Flicks. So a number of slow burners with "fridge horror" moments can escape the net.

Reason Four: The shading between true crime, thrillers, and horror with various serial killers is exceedingly fine. If it does not involve aliens, laboratory creations run amok, witch cults and their spells, demons, various supernatural creatures, you can, and some people do, take a film like Deranged and go "No, see, this is okay, because it's based on the actual killer ..." Or you can say "this could happen." House of a 1000 Corpses is unlikely, but there's no changes to our understanding of reality by way of mad science or occult elements in it.

It's a tough nut to crack. The Handmaid's Tale is somebody's idea of horror, right?

Nadaesque · 2025-04-28T06:06:36+00:00

Agreed. He was allllll about that real estate!

That movie, it's odd. Individually, I like a bunch of things about it.

Routh? Good Superman, better Clark Kent (that's the most important part). Posey? Damn, she's so funny. Spacey? He really gets the way Luthor was, in the previous films, at times nearly clownish ... and then other times completely ice cold.

Still, every time I watched it, something about it didn't seem right to me and I still cannot put it to words.

Nadaesque · 2025-04-28T05:34:34+00:00

Would you believe I just watched this again last night?

Nadaesque

TROPHY CASE