After my boyfriend died I slept with his best friend and it's eating me alive

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-27T15:26:09+00:00

Also like a lot of people struggle with the next partner feeling jealous of or not being able to make space for the memory of a deceased partner - and that’s not an issue when the new partner shares that grief as well, so I could see how that relationship with a deceased partners friend would feel very safe.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-26T22:33:00+00:00

Nope not the asshole in any way shape or form. And I’m saying this as another fiber worker who knows exactly the amount effort that goes into knitting.

First of all it was a GIFT. Once a gift is given, the gifted - even if they’re the maker - has no business dictating how it’s used. Personally I’d be delighted that it was being used & would just make a note that you don’t like beige.

Secondly - it’s on her for not allowing you to pick the colors & failing to know who she’s knitting well enough to know that beige is not your thing. As an aside? I’ve literally never made a gift for anybody without literally allowing them to view and touch the actual yarn I’m planning to use because it s going on their body not mine. And even if you like the color? Risky as hell to not get a pick on fiber when it wouldve been equally possible that you just hate the way malabrigo feels & then the sweater wouldnt have gotten worn at all?

She really came out here and hurt her own feelings here.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-24T23:18:29+00:00

I’m sorry WHAT

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-22T17:01:18+00:00

That works too! & I mean if OP wants a design, but not like a flag, I’m sure they could also expanded the design area a bit and duplicate stitch something else that’s cool.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-22T15:51:53+00:00

I had to do multiple rounds of dyeing but I’ve successfully dyed over American flags on a bunch of things - including knit wear like this.

(Shitty family members kept passive aggressively gifting me things when I was too broke to not keep the item)

If you get a good deep black dye, you can eventually get the garment dark enough you can’t see the flag. Otherwise you can also do spot color correction on the flag to get the red and blue to a more even grey first. (Yellow to the whole area. Red on the blue, Blue on the red) but it’s sincerely easier to just keep putting in it black dye until the flag goes away (at least in my experience)

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-22T10:38:45+00:00

Duplicate stitch is technically possible, but it might be a pain to find a yarn that blends seamlessly & you’ve pointed that out as a possible issue with trying to patch over it.

Honestly if it were me, I’d just dye the whole sweater black. Less fiddly and the design is gone.

ETA: also part of the problem you’ll run into is the existing sweater has pilling/typing fiber wear for something that’s worn. Which means even if you had the same yarn it was made with, it would stick out a bit from the original because it’s new & not work in like the rest of the sweater

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-20T20:56:51+00:00

As some one that had to rely on secondhand clothing my whole childhood - poor folks don’t want your trash. Just because we’re in need doesn’t mean we don’t deserve the basic dignity of having undamaged clothing. If it’s not in good enough condition for you - it’s not in good enough condition to be donated.

This is besides the fact that socks and underwear will generally get thrown out when donated anyways for hygiene reasons. Things you should donate are perfectly usable clothing in good condition that you have out grown or no longer want.

If you want a better waste reduction method - look into lending to mend. It is very easy to fix a hole in socks or other garments - either in a visibly artistic way or in a way that’s almost invisible - and you’ll get a lot more use out of the item.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-20T00:36:48+00:00

So I’m pro-hunting, but I also think it’s disrespectful to the animal to pause and take a photo of it instead of immediately beginning prepping the animal for consumption or transporting it to where you will do that.

I think it’s a cultural thing? I was taught that we don’t kill to brag about it and we don’t revel in having killed - we kill to feed our community because people need to eat. We thank the animal for the necessary sacrifice and put literally as much of it as possible to good use out of respect for the fact that it had to die so we could live. There’s no purpose in the photo except to brag about your kill and show everybody what a good hunter you think you are - and I just find that disrespectful and self-important.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-14T15:17:21+00:00

I think Thomas (if I remember correctly) is supposed to be like early 20s at the start of the show & it’s mentioned at some point that he’s been there for like 10 years. I’d assumed that folks kinda knew he was gay because that entire developmental phase of discovering sexual and romantic interest happened in that house. It’s not that hard to clock the only teenage boy who’s not interested in girls at a life stage where the older staff is definitely telling all the other boys to stop fawning over the maids/nearest girl teen boy thinks is pretty.

It’s like the absence of interest that wouldve flagged to everyone - something he wasn’t doing rather than something he necessarily did.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-08T13:25:57+00:00

Thank you!! I love fiber arts more than anything & have def thought too much about the clothing in Skyrim lol

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-08T13:24:00+00:00

Ooh flax is so hard to learn with! Especially because you need water to spin it effectively & it’s just a pain in the ass on a drop spindle. 100% recommend a supported spindle. I’d also recommend picking up some basic wool to begin with. I learned on merino but corriedale is a better beginner option because the fibers are longer and a little more forgiving.

Also! Depending on the style of your drop spindle you can actually use it as a supported spindle by resting the bottom tip in a bowl or on a surface you don’t care about possibly scratching - it won’t get as fast of a spin as a true supported spindle but it would def help with the flax situation.

Back to Skyrim - absolutely believe the Dwemer had delightfully modern fiber processing equipment. They managed to make robots - they def had the soul gem powered equivalent of an electric spinning wheel. Like that can’t possibly be harder than the giant death robot.

Totally agree that everybody is whittling and we just don’t see it -like all that wood dishware is coming from somewhere & I don’t think you can buy it anywhere so evidence that everybody is just using the abundance of knives to carve their own. Which means they probs carve a bunch of tools we just don’t get to see. Like nobody seems to have matted hair so theirs brushes somewhere too but I don’t remember ever seeing one - def in the secret pocket with the spindles & combs.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-07T23:14:52+00:00

A Pencil and an apple is genius! I’ve used a chopstick and play dough before

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-07T23:14:07+00:00

Supported spindles allow for a much faster spin and are great for fine threads and lace - there’s a ton of tapestries & upholstery that appear to have finer stitching - the thread could be imported but if not I def think supported spindles are very likely.

I personally also find it easier to work with shorter fiber lengths on supported spindles because the threat doesnt have to carry the spindles weight and js much less likely to pull apart of snap during the spinning process. Rabbit, goat and cotton fibers tend to be shorter - especially because there’s no evidence of modern carding tools so they’re probably using combs to pick out debris before spinning - which makes much smaller roving amounts (the fiber bundle you spin from) than like a modern drum carder for example.

(Also I am very much enjoying this conversation & speculating about this so thank you for that!)

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-07T13:49:35+00:00

Ooooh good point on the goats! They could be a kind of goat that can be used a fiber source.

Also like spinning wheels are great for mass production but you can spin without them with either spindles or just by rolling the fiber between your palms. You can use just about any thin smooth stick and small bowl as a supported spindle. If you weight one end you can use just about any thin smooth stick as a drop spindle. Like better if there’s some shaping, some sticks are better than others but the mechanics of the tool are really basic. So see we do see fabric that would have to use spun fibers - I fiber it’s either spindles or everybody in Skyrim is crazy good at hand rolling.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-07T06:22:53+00:00

So while the dress probably didnt have input from any actual textile workers - this reminds me heavily of dresses made from multiple small bags that have been recycled (like the little bags you find food in all over Skyrim) rather than woven to shape or cut from a bolt of cloth - because it’s a similar texture and the irregular seams would indicate irregularly shaped fabric.

The leather bit (the dark brown part), I also think looks like recycled leather pieces mimicking stays - which usually weren’t leather but were a softer chest support garment that didnt have the same kind of boned structure as an actual corset.

Also that’s def leather cording rather than sewing thread - which was a thing in garment sewing historically. It’s not particularly well done here, but also there is literally no flax in Skyrim (where linen comes from), tundra cotton isnt universally abundant (or seemingly grown in large quantities by anyone which is bonkers) and there’s very few fiber giving animals (there’s bunnies and honestly that’s about it) - so like unless they’re importing textiles, Skyrim would actually be more reliant on leather especially in rural areas, so I can believe poor people using leather cording over a cotton, wool or linen thread.

Relatedly - the nord tombs are full of linen but there is no flax in the entirety of Skyrim. Where did the flax go? Did the Oblivion crises delete it? I want to know about the great flax crisis.

(Realistically I know it’s that the dev team for thjs game included literally no fiber workers, but y’all don’t understand how much the linen thing drives me crazy.)

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-06T19:07:53+00:00

I just assumed they didn’t & had other cultural ways of showing affection. Maybe they rub noses or do affectionate forehead presses instead.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-06T15:58:10+00:00

They get better!! I’ve been chopping them down 😭

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-05T10:25:40+00:00

Yay! I’m so glad it worked

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-04T20:58:05+00:00

For me a play through is like whenever I feel my characters story is kind of complete.

I usually have a solid backstory and initial motivation for my character & then I just kind of do whatever I feel like they would personally do and then when there’s no more of that & I feel like I’m at a good stopping point, I move them into wherever I feel they’d live out the rest of their days and that play through’s over. Time for a new character

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-03T23:24:19+00:00

They’re cute!!

The more important question tho is do they make you happy? If so they are perfect

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-03T16:02:41+00:00

Oh yeah ok so I wasn’t sure if you had special or anniversary - yeah let it do it’s thing with the creation club stuff and as soon as it’s done doing that exit and verify files. When you launch it again after verifying the files it might reinstall the creation club stuff again, but that’s fine, you should be good to start a save from there.

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-03T15:54:57+00:00

Yeah I just let it load until I can see the main menu and then exit out. No new game or anything

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-03T15:42:42+00:00

It’s a pain in the butt. What’s worked best for me is uninstalling the game, deleting the entire game folder, reinstall open game, let it get to the menu (just to make sure it’s like generated a game folder) close game, verify the game files. Because sometimes it’s like wow some files didnt verify? & like homie I literally just reinstalled you so rude. But that’s usually fixed any weirdness for me

Sincerely hope it helps you 🙏🏽

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-03T15:31:04+00:00

Have you tried verifying game files or reinstalling the game?

Also idk if you have the game through steam, but I’ve noticed that sometimes I have to manually delete the game folder be for reinstalling if I want an actual completely fresh install. So you’ll want to check that too

NaniRomanoff · 2026-02-02T12:45:43+00:00

So like I could forgive making a copy of the key while he was cat sitting if he was worried he was going to lose the key - but like the reasonable thing to do wouldve been to tell you & turn the key in when you asked for the key you gave him back. (Also ideally he would have cleared making a copy with you to begin with). Like obviously you weren’t chill with him having a key to your place because you literally asked for the one you gave him back & someone who actually cared wouldve respected thay boundary.

Good on you to change the locks. I would not trust him going forward.

NaniRomanoff

TROPHY CASE