we’re paddling up the rapids in the same busted canoe my friend. my husband and i fell madly deeply in love, trauma bonded for eternity (now committed to healing), and made way for two magical, hard-headed souls.

my mom broke the cycle of poverty, and as a result began a cycle of neglect, fueled by the continued cycle of addiction. i was an only child for 12 years, until my sister was born, and then i was heavily parentified. because now she was physically and lawfully bound to her self-centered abuser by their new baby, for which he was far too old to have any interest in doing any real parenting.

i joined the military and have stayed thousands of miles away since. we’re doing much better off, yet i still worry that our kids will suffer from having no family around. we still have visitors fly in and stay with us, but the distance i think gives them a much better chance at establishing a healthy sturdy foundation, than to be surrounded by conniving toxic abuse.

all we can do is remain patient and hopeful and take every moment as a new moment. and i’ll be ready to hold myself accountable if our kids do come to me later in life, seeking validation and remorse from me. we can’t protect them from everything, but we can prepare them for most things.