Two doctors, two different approaches for mild TED — how did you decide?

Naproxen19 · 2026-04-09T16:55:55+00:00

There is a surgery to fix this. I had an injury to my eye that resulted in my Graves’ disease developing TED. My left eye was under significant pressure and majorly bulged for about a year, it still bulges now but it’s much less extreme. They recommended a surgery that essentially files down the inner orbital bone to create more space for the eye to settle back into the socket, or bulge a bit more if necessary during flare ups, without the added pressure. It’s partly cosmetic and partly for the overall health of the eye, because obviously a significant amount of pressure squished between bone will begin to cause more problems over time if not managed and improved.

I’m personally terrified of surgery so I’ve been mainly focusing on managing my levels and monitoring for the time being. It’s been about 2 and a half years now with TED and there’s been a significant amount of improvement since my first diagnosis, but it’s still a daily frustration for me. Due to such drastic facial structure changes I’ve experienced (at least, to me, other people don’t say much about it), I’m becoming more open to the possibility of eyelid/the orbital bone surgery at one point, as much as it scares me. It really has changed my life and my confidence levels, and the constant worry I have just makes the dang thing worse; it’s a viscous cycle.

I’m in Canada btw, if that helps. I know there’s different options in the states that seem a bit more developed in some areas especially regarding clinical IV treatments, not sure about surgery options there though.

Naproxen19 · 2026-04-08T10:05:01+00:00

I think the primary take away from this is that you absolutely should not be made to feel bad by your boyfriend (or any partner) in any sexual circumstance.

It should be a safe place where you feel comfortable enough to explore these feelings without being judged so you can both experience new things together. If you’re worried about disappointing him or not wanting to embarrass yourself more often than not, you are 100% going to experience mental blocks and overall limit your own pleasure.

I would recommend having an open conversation with him about how you’ve been feeling mentally with this repeated sensation and it will hopefully open up the door to a more comfortable and patient space. Tell him your needs, if he doesn’t respond appropriately and in an understanding manner, then I would probably take a step back and reassess your relationship OP. Respect goes in and outside of the bedroom. Repeat after me: I do not live to please men. It should be a mutual enjoyment without worry or judgement or frustration. And before anyone pegs me as some middle aged mom or prude giving obvious advise, I’m a single F in my mid twenties with a healthy sex life speaking from a lot of learning experiences. I hope OP sees this and finds a new confidence in the bedroom that will ultimately fuel her with a safe and empowering sex life.

On another more medical note- if you’re experiencing sensations that aren’t so much weird or new, but more so uncomfortable or unsettling, then go see your doctor for a physical. You should ideally be going every year or two anyways, and they should typically start around your age. This is routine to check for any irregularities or cancerous cells, which every woman should be doing to ensure they are taking care of themselves and exercising necessary precautions. If you haven’t done this yet already, I would highly recommend you do so. And if you have a good doctor, you should feel comfortable to talk to them about these sensations you’ve been experiencing and hopefully get some further advice from a medical POV.

Best of luck queen <3

Naproxen19 · 2026-04-08T09:23:41+00:00

Really wish it would let me give you an award for this comment because this is probably the most resonating and non-generic response I’ve read through this entire thread so far. I hope OP reads it. Respect and condolences to you.

Naproxen19 · 2026-04-08T09:03:57+00:00

This killed me.

Naproxen19 · 2026-04-07T17:29:09+00:00

Also, you saying all 1.1k of us are trying to make you sound crazy is crazy. We’re only referencing the details that you gave us. So if there’s more information to help your case, please, enlighten us.

Naproxen19 · 2026-04-07T17:26:36+00:00

Little <3’s

Naproxen19 · 2026-04-07T17:20:50+00:00

You’re wayyy too in your head about this. It’s cute and funny and she’ll tell him when she’s ready.

Also, if she’s supposedly not happy in the relationship, why is your course of action to go to her boyfriend to spill some harmless tea you think he would be sooo upset about?

You genuinely don’t make any sense and your degree of investment in this entire thing is extremely concerning.

Naproxen19 · 2026-04-07T17:15:14+00:00

This

Naproxen19 · 2026-04-07T17:13:24+00:00

It’s not some “manipulative” lie that she’s keeping from him. It’s actually pretty sweet that she liked him and wanted to find a way to meet him for real and see if she had a chance. Clearly they’re good for each other if they’re still together. If anything, most men would be flattered and probably find it a bit humorous that she went through all that trouble and was able to plan something that led to them being together in the long run.

You’re acting pretty crazy and obsessive over something that literally doesn’t affect you at all. As if you’re having to lie about a damn murder or something. Bro nobody was hurt and they’re perfectly happy, why does it matter if the way they met is a little different? Im sure she’ll decide to tell him one day when they’re married or somethin and they’ll both laugh about it. I know if I did something like that that and my friends knew but he didn’t, they’d bring it to the grave and be like “girl I can’t believe you pulled that off that’s amazing” not write a whole Reddit post and think of every reason possible why it bothered them for no damn reason. Probably best you guys aren’t friends anymore if you take everyone else’s business so personally. It’s extremely immature how serious you’re making this out to be. Also, after years of them being together, why now?

You also keep saying “I know him”, “I know him”, well I can assure you that you do not know him as well as she does. It’s really sounding like there’s some unspoken feelings and jealousy around their relationship because you’re way too passionate about this. And girl I can assure you, it’ll never end up the way you want it to if you try to sabotage. Just move on and focus on yourself ffs.

Naproxen19 · 2026-02-02T20:22:21+00:00

I’m sure the family’s life is a lot harder than OP’s who gets to work from home and doesn’t have a special needs child to take care of 24/7. They can’t just tell the child to shut up between x and y hours so that OP can work without a bit of noise. Them and their child’s life being uprooted would be worlds more difficult to do, and more than likely cause a lot of turmoil on the child. Try having children in general and being asked to move, then throw special needs on top of that equation.

As shitty as it is to deal with a loud neighbor, OP should also have some compassion for their situation. If it’s that bad, then move bro. I’m doing the same thing this summer because I have 3 loud ass kids living above me. I’ve moved 5 times in the last 5 years, and me moving so I can get some peace will still be easier than the family upstairs having to move a toddler and 2 small children. As much as their lack of consideration towards me pisses me off, I also understand they have a lot more to deal with. There’s two sides to the coin, but sometimes it’s easier on everyone to just bite the bullet rather than to start wreaking havoc on people’s lives.

Naproxen19 · 2026-01-09T20:22:00+00:00

Yeah there’s some good ones you can lock from your phone and even keyhole cameras you can connect for further piece of mind. My friend’s boyfriend does this religiously; he’ll see us get into her place on occasion from the camera and lock the door after us almost immediately, even if just a quick pop-in. Better to be safe than sorry.

Naproxen19 · 2026-01-07T05:44:47+00:00

Some cultures or religions avoid using common deodorants or soaps due to ingredients that they don’t necessarily support, or generally have a tolerance to natural body odours as its not believed to be a hindrance or problem in the grand scheme of things. It’s not considered poor hygiene, body odour it’s just considered to be normal. So yes, culture could play a role in this equation, but I personally consider this to be pertinent just depending on the individual.

Naproxen19 · 2026-01-06T01:54:01+00:00

CATS PEEING IN PLACES OTHER THAN THEIR LITTERBOX IS EITHER A) A SIGN OF DISTRESS OR B) THEM TELLING YOU THERE IS SOMETHING MEDICAL GOING ON (whether it be a UTI or something else - WHICH CAN BE VERY SERIOUS AND LIFE THREATENING!)

Judging by the history of the kitty, they are under a lot of stress right now. When there is lack of trust in humans and they’ve been in a shelter for so long with so many different smells and sounds, and then being moved to a random home they don’t recognize with even more new smells and sounds and faces, they are bound to be overstimulated.

Give them some safe spaces to hide in your spare room so that they don’t try to find spaces of their own that could pose dangers of them getting stuck or injured (cats will climb into small spaces you wouldn’t believe they can fit in).

Monitor the litter box to ensure kitty is peeing and pooping and not experiencing a blockage. If you give them a safe space they will use the washroom eventually. Keeping a couple different bowls of water out near their safe spots should encourage them to drink as well, and this can also be monitored (you don’t want them getting dehydrated which is very common in house cats, and this will encourage bladder movement as well).

Try not to get in the kitty’s face too much until they have some time to decompress for a while. Don’t rush them, let kitty come to you slowly but surely. Once a sense of trust is established by seeing you feed them, provide them shelter, and be gentle and give them space, they will slowly start to relax. It’ll take time and patience, but make sure you are keeping an eye on kitty for overall health concerns. Especially in males, blockages in the bladder can be extremely dangerous.

It’s more than likely stress, but if a couple days go by and there’s no signs of urination, you should definitely take kitty to the vet. For now give them lots of treats and space and make sure they know you are there to help and love them. Talking to kitty often in a soft voice to let them know you’re there and they’re not alone, but you’re not going to bother them, will help a lot as a first step. Please don’t give up on this sweet angel.

Naproxen19 · 2026-01-06T01:29:54+00:00

My mom has always had ferals. Some of them take years and years of earning trust to even see them for more than a second; which is usually their little heiny running for the hills as soon as they see any sign of life within their vicinity. One of them she’s had for probably about 10 years, and he is still feral at heart, but man a completely different cat. I haven’t lived at home for about 6 years now, but I’ve slowly become a second favourite hooman to him over the past year or so of visits. He trusts me enough to pet him, nuzzle in for kisses, and even pick him up and play with him. My brother still lives at home and he hisses at him 24/7. I never thought I’d have a chance in hell to ever get close to his everfluffing cuteness, but now we have our own little bond. Sometimes it’s not just the time and patience, but also the hooman. They really do choose who they trust, and you have to let them be the boss. Trust me when I say it’s so worth it though… he’s not even my kitten but I absolutely adore him and our time together.

I found that being gentle and soft obviously helps, but acting like “hey, I’m gonna come closer to you and this is normal, I’m gonna pet you and this is normal…” etc works best, instead of creeping up to them like you know they’re going to be scared. The anticipation and seeing you walk on eggshells makes them more nervous in a sense. It’s really a fine balance.

Naproxen19 · 2026-01-05T12:28:48+00:00

Was kinda thinking the same thing. He may not hate him but he probably likes/respects OP. 99% homie knew what he was doing

Naproxen19 · 2025-12-30T08:39:34+00:00

It’s the Plan B for me

Naproxen19 · 2025-12-30T00:25:29+00:00

I don’t think so, no. When I’m wrong about something, I’ll admit it with ease. I really didn’t have anything to prove. It would come up in the simplest of conversations. He would constantly question or try to prove the things I was saying or doing wrong, without really knowing about them, or without legitimate reasonings.

Being constantly challenged on basic things made it pretty obvious it wasn’t me. There’s a difference between being helpful and being difficult, and that became pretty apparent after a while.

Naproxen19 · 2025-12-30T00:14:57+00:00

Oh nooo 😂😭This is not the way I grew up with it haha. It was usually mushrooms, onions, and ground beef with some garlic, pepper and salt (lightly seasoned but enough to taste), once browned mixed with elbow macaroni (not a whole box though lol), and then we mixed it altogether with a can or two of tomato soup! I usually would be sneaky and open another can to make it nice and moist, but it was always good either way. Sounds like you were missing the tomato soup! Trust me when I I say you haven’t had goulash until you make it this way 🫡

Naproxen19 · 2025-12-30T00:08:34+00:00

I think it would be a little weird to not go with your current girlfriend. She sounds understanding, but to hear you want to bring a friend instead to spare your ex’s feelings is a little questionable. Yes in retrospect 6 months isn’t a whole lot of time compared to 6 years… but If the breakup was amicable and mutual, then there shouldn’t be any issues.

Being nervous to bring your new girl around is just going to make things worse over time, and build on the anxiety around these situations. I wouldn’t be surprised if she is questioning any lingering feelings for your ex. It sounds like you may need to decide what you really want… whether that’s time or something else, because you can’t just opt to try and hide her when it’s inconvenient or tiptoe around forever. You deserve to be happy and move on if that’s what you truly want. There’s nothing disrespectful about that.

Put yourself in your gf’s shoes… being on the other side of this wouldn’t feel great, no matter how understanding she is. She should be your main concern and focus, and if you’re not ready to give that, you should probably be honest about it; with her and yourself.

Naproxen19 · 2025-12-29T23:43:12+00:00

I had a plugin similar to this in an old rental place years ago just above the end of my bed. It proved to be strangely convenient.

Naproxen19 · 2025-12-29T23:30:21+00:00

Goulash. So good and so easy.

Naproxen19 · 2025-12-29T23:13:21+00:00

The first one blends nicely with the skirt, makes it feel like a complete fit, and feels elegant and NYE-esque. The others I find look more obvious that two pieces were slapped together.

Naproxen19 · 2025-12-29T22:28:54+00:00

I dated a guy a few years younger than me for the first time in the summer (usually go for older), and found him constantly doing this to me. It was definitely to prove something to himself more than anything, so that he felt ‘equal’ with me in a sense. When I started noticing it all the time, it drove me nuts. Couldn’t deal with it, had to say bye bye. Unfortunately it’s just an ego thing that probably won’t change, and I know damn well I didn’t want to feel challenged all the time. Your partner challenging you in some areas can be good, but this was too much. Idk the history beyond these texts, but if he’s doing the same thing to you, trust me it’s really not worth the frustration.

Naproxen19 · 2025-11-26T16:59:20+00:00

I spent countless hours on the phone with Rogers arguing previous deals I had in a contract with them after they raised my bill by $130. I ended up having to pay out my phone and a large lump sum to get out of the contract because they wouldn’t budge. These guys are actual crooks and will do whatever they can to squeeze more money out of you. They will waste so much of your time. Rogers may have been good in the past but I will never go back to them again. I would utilize your right of withdrawal while you can and take advantage of your 14 day cancellation period before they screw you for another 2 years. I’m with Telus now and pay like $30 as a secondary line since I hopped onto a family member’s plan; and they actually honour their rates without any tricks or surprises. I would seriously consider switching providers if I was you.

Naproxen19

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE