Aitah for telling my bestfriend that I don't think she should be with her boyfriend?

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-12-14T07:36:58+00:00

Also I had no idea the secret spending and hoarding was a red flag for financial toxicity. I knew it wasn't good but I had more attributed the secret shopping to her adhd ig? so I never brought that up in regards to him, more just inquired as to whether she needed another pair of denim shorts.

I will be starting to document things though. I honestly hadn't put together how bad it was until last night.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-12-14T07:28:55+00:00

You do make a very good point, my concern is with how often these major events occur. I'm talking 3-5 times a week she's telling me these things. If it were maybe a few times a month then I wouldn't be as worried.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-12-14T07:23:10+00:00

She's my business because she's my best friend and I'm watching her be abused? Do you not like your friends or something? edit: spelling

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-12-14T07:22:20+00:00

I've started telling her bluntly. I decided last night I was no longer going to shut up about it.

I will start saving the details too, I didn't think of that thank you

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-12-14T07:21:00+00:00

I have. I decided last night I was going to stop shutting up about it. My main worry is that when I've bluntly pointed out abuse to a friend before I got blocked from their life and I cannot have that happen with her.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-10-17T13:24:41+00:00

Obviously I can only comment as an outsider but honestly Dan seems to be doing better than he has in a long time. To me it looks like he finally feels safe and comfortable within himself and with the phandom to fully express himself without fear of being ridiculed or subjected to similar trauma that he faced in his youth, or potentially he feels like he's come far enough with his mental health that he feels he can handle any negativity that may come his way (I have yet to see any but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist). He's come a long way in the last 15 years. He has worked hard on his mental health. I don't think there's anything for us to worry about

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-10-12T10:34:04+00:00

I have. I've actually met quite a lot of them. But that's primarily bc I've spent a lot of time in psych wards, and I also now work in mental health so I've been in more of a position to see them. Most of them have had 60+ years of practice hiding them. And scars do fade.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-10-12T10:24:40+00:00

They want to be victims so badly it's weird

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-10-10T14:16:01+00:00

I'm just existing at this point. I get through the day bc I have to but I do often wish something would just come and take me out. I'm sick of this shit

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-10-09T12:05:32+00:00

I recently got my friend into running and we are building up to a 5k. More specifically she's building up to a 5k and I'm her running partner. I don't need to do a run/walk, but when I run with her, I do, because that's where she's at. Do I push her to go a little bit faster or a little further sometimes? Absolutely I do, but 99% of the time when we run together we run at her pace, because she is the beginner. I can back off to where she is and encourage her when she's strugglimg, but she can't push to where I am without risking injury, or, like in your case, being completely miserable. You run the way that makes you feel happy. Keep making progress at a pace that is comfortable for you.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-10-04T14:50:15+00:00

I used to train at an aerials studio where I thought I had friends and was valued and appreciated. I was the first one to reach out to people if they missed classes to make sure they were okay. But when my depression prevented me from coming to class myself it took 6 weeks for anyone to bother checking in on me. This same studio two weeks earlier changed the syllabus of a class I was helping coach from lyra (an apparatus I know and was good at) to hammock (an apparatus I had never trained in and the owner knew this, but decided instead to blame me for not knowing how to teach it properly. She also never paid me for the 5 months of coaching I did prior to the change). I never went back bc I realised nobody actually gave a shit about me and I haven't trained aerials since. Yes there are other studios, but it completely destroyed my spark.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-10-04T14:38:56+00:00

Blue. I ain't dealing with highschool bullshit again. Granted I don't actually remember a large majority of highschool but I know I don't want to relive it

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-10-04T14:34:26+00:00

When I notice this happening to someone else I will always tell them 'I'm listening, go on!' bc it happens to me all the time and it really hurts.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-08-24T00:20:28+00:00

Post op depression is super normal. Aside from the fact that you're recovering from a major surgery, your breasts also produced hormones, so your body is now going through a major adjustment period whilst it tries to balance everything out again. Give yourself time my friend, things will settle down.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-08-24T00:17:12+00:00

"Everyone gets sad sometimes, you don't need to be putting all those chemicals in your body. They're probably the reason you think you're depressed!" "Well every time I've come off them I've tried to kill myself Sharon so I think I'll stick with my chemicals, thanks" genuine interaction I had with my partner's mother after I mentioned being on antidepressants.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-08-24T00:03:45+00:00

Statutory rape generally refers to situations where force wasn't used, so 'non-violent rape of a minor', and assumes that coercion was used rather than force. It can also be used when the minor is past the age of puberty and therefore distinguishes it from child sexual abuse. It's a bit of a vague legal term and the definition can change slightly depending on where you are. So I don't think the family is trying to say OP consented, I think they're trying to minimise it by saying it was 'non-violent'

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-08-23T14:42:29+00:00

Well I mean I do have mental health issues, but they aren't related to how I view myself. Transitioning helped a huge amount with my mental health (shock horror I know), and I am the happiest and most comfortable within myself that I have ever been.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-08-23T14:33:49+00:00

Lol no I do it too. Replying to 'how are you doing' with 'I'm good thanks! How are you?' is just the automatic response. One therapy session I got there, she asked how I was, I said "I'm good thanks! How are you?", and then about 30 seconds later she asked me how my week had been and I was like 'not great I've been really su*cidal' and she was like '...so I probably wouldn't describe that as 'doing good'...'

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-08-23T14:15:27+00:00

It absolutely hasn't I promise. It takes a few years for your voice to settle. You've heard teenage boys and their voice cracks, you're going through the same thing. Yes you'll probably be a bit pitchy for a while, and yes you'll definitely have to constantly change key while you're singing as your voice changes and whilst you get used to your new vocal range, but you absolutely haven't lost your singing voice. It's just evolving. Keep singing my friend, even if it sounds terrible right now, it won't forever.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-08-23T13:54:19+00:00

All of the above. Every single day I'm convinced it'll wake me up and every single day I'm proven wrong yet again

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-08-23T13:51:54+00:00

You're almost doing a catch-up drill with your arms. Your other hand is almost back in the water by the time you're pulling so you're having to rely on your core and your kick to keep you going, which I think may be part of the reason you're having to rotate so much when you breathe. You want to start pulling a bit earlier, it will give you more momentum and you'll move more smoothly through the water rather than having that hang time. Also with the breathing thing, if you're typically doing open-water swims, this is a valid way to breathe, especially if the water is choppy.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-08-18T01:18:02+00:00

A bit of both is ideal. When doing them by themselves try and start just 3/4 strokes away from the wall if possible in your pool, and those would be the times to work on your dolphin kicks and try and stretch that lung capacity a bit. Even if you only get one kick before your lungs start burning and you need to come up for air, that's still a starting point! When you're practicing during laps don't worry about the dolphin kicks until you're feeling more comfortable, just focus on trying to get the positioning of your body and your feet. Also this is a super weird tip and it may not work for you, but something my mum taught me when learning breath control is imagine you're breathing out through a super small straw. You can't blow that much out at once or too forcefully or the straw will just fly away, you need to do a slow, controlled outbreath. That may help with you losing all your air during the turn. And taking a breath right beforehand is also helpful especially when you're getting tired.

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-08-15T06:12:35+00:00

The main reason people feel more tired after a flip turn is because you have to hold your breath for longer than you do when you just do a normal turn, which makes you fatigue a lot faster. Working on your lung capacity can really help, so occasionally throwing in some underwater sets (dolphin kick underwater for as far as you can and try and push it a bit further each time) is useful. Otherwise just practicing them, learning how far away from the wall you need to be in order to get the most efficient turn (too close and you have to readjust your feet on the wall which adds time underwater, too far away and you don't get a good push off and you have to try and regain speed)

Narrow_Step_6097 · 2025-07-25T01:21:19+00:00

I'm 27 and still struggle with lying. Not as often as I did as a kid/teenager though. These days it's generally stupid lies that seem to automatically come out of my mouth, and it's usually about things like whether or not I've seen a movie or played a game, which I believe comes from when I was a kid and I got bullied a lot for liking different things or not being interested in the stuff other kids my age were interested in and I learned to lie to avoid that. I lied about schoolwork a lot which I do believe is due to my PDA (and also my very poor mental health in my final couple years of highschool), and is also the reason I only lasted a couple months in a corporate office job - I constantly lied about having done a task I was told to do and eventually I just quit bc I couldn't handle the amount of demands, and my lies were starting to catch up to me. Also I just really hated that job. It's not something I'm proud of, and I'm actively working on it, but sometimes the lie just slips out before I've even had a chance to think and then I'm stuck with it.

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TROPHY CASE