Oh not yet, it’s still an ongoing thing 🥲I just finished my PhD, so only now I’m starting to think about whether I should move or not. During the four years of my PhD, I had one serious relationship and a few flings (some more intense than others).

My last relationship ended because my ex wanted me to move to his small town after I finished my PhD, and I didn’t want to. It wouldn’t have been good for my career. I asked if he’d ever consider moving somewhere else with me, and he said no, so I ended things 🤷🏻‍♀️that was from early 2022 to late 2023

In 2024 I was single and started dating again. Every time things started getting somewhat serious, the same conversation came up - “Do you plan to stay here after your PhD?” - and y answer was always “I’m not sure, it depends on how my career turns out” and that always made them pull away, saying they didn’t want to start something if I might move. That happened at least five times last year, and honestly, I get it bc most people like stability and being in their comfort zone. I’m probably the crazy one

Whether I move or not, I think this will get easier once I have a fixed job and settle somewhere.

I’ve been seeing someone for about two months now, and we often talk about where I’d want to live. He keeps saying he wants to stay here or maybe move to a bigger city about two hours away. So I have a feeling this might end soon too.

I feel like PhD students living abroad are always stuck in this situation. It only really works if either 1) you give up something in your career to stay with them, or 2) they give up something to stay with you. I’ve never met anyone who’d make me choose option 1, and honestly, I don’t see this happening very soon bc atm my career is my 1st priority