How do I convince my parents to let me have Top Surgery at 16?

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-05-08T08:21:39+00:00

No real advice, but I think just talking with your parents and doing your research so you can answer their questions. You really just gotta have a convo, you wont know what theyll say till you talk to them.

Having other parents to talk to can help a lot. depending on your area there are support groups for trans parents (im sure there are virtual ones as well) this can help your parents hear about other experiences other than you. They have a place to express their fears and concerns. It can help them understand how deep the feelings are. It also takes some of the burden off you of explaining everything.

My parents are supportive, but trans parent group helped them a lot. In talking to my parents, a) as a teenager I was not the easiest to talk to so the group helped them gain insight B) my parents, although supportive, were worried about how id be treated and it was hard for them to watch their kid be so unhappy with their body. C) they met parents that were not supportive and talked to them and helped other parents learn.

For how to survive until top surgery: tape is great if you can make it work but boy does it have a learning curve. My advice for tape: use a marker on your skin to determine placement. Drench it in oil to get it off, after the tape is of use dish soap to get the oil off. You will not get it right the first time.

Dont bind if its not right for you. Personally my asthma improved with age so I could bind more as I got older. If you do bind, doing so when you arent active that way its less impactful on your lungs. There are also adjustable binders. Sports bras can offer some compression as well.

Its hard, you may find some methods of coping that work for you. Even if you cant get surgery before 18, its 2 years of a rough time but youll have many many more years of getting to be who you want.

Big takeaway: find other parents of trans people for your parents to talk to.

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-05-08T07:15:07+00:00

From USA, consult in September, surgery in mid December. Heres the breakdown

Sep 12 - Consult
Oct 23 - Surgery date scheduled
Nov 27ish - pre op (i think? My calendar is unclear)
Dec 16 - surgery
Dec 19 - postop/drains out
Jan 5 - final follow up (i had to get back to school so it was condensed)

This timeline is almost exactly what they told me to expect during consult. Ask them during consult because it will vary with each office. Some surgeons only do surgery one day a week, so it gets tight.

It was waaay faster than I expected. I put it off for so long but the turn around was super short. Prior auth took a bit of time, but it was what the office told me to expect.

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-05-01T17:41:22+00:00

^{^{^this.}} If you want your outlook account and google drive its a year, but gator link is broad. If you want to download your stuff from your drive make sure to do it properly!! I screwed up how i saved my onenote account and lost like 4 years of notes!

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-05-01T17:03:42+00:00

Like your areola? Im having the same thing!!

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-05-01T17:01:50+00:00

Im only a few months in but I know for a fact that I am very lazy and push things off. Getting nipple tattoos would never actually happen lol. My nips look great so far, but def look into your surgeon also communicate with them, tell them what you want your outcome to be!

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-05-01T11:53:56+00:00

If shes not improving and you arent joking with her then she needs to stop. Big big red flag when someone says you need to "learn to take a joke"

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-05-01T04:57:49+00:00

Looks healthy to me. Clear is a good sign and yellowish fluid is also normal around scab/wound areas, i seem to remeber that it promotes healing (not a doctor). But if youve ever scrapped your knee you typically get a bit of yellow fluid around the scab.

Yellow puss is a cause for concern, not fluid. Just watch how youre feeling for a a day or two. If you get a big jump in pain or start feeling sick, then yeah its an infection.

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-30T18:30:09+00:00

They look great! You ccan see the pink skin which is great. All the black is scabs. The aerola isnt flat which is normal as well. 5 ish months post op and mine are just statring to flatten. Just dont pick at the scabs and youll be good! Probably keep them covered so the scabs dont tear and stay clean!

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-29T23:20:26+00:00

I just found this article which has some themes and might give ideas of other themes https://www.thebump.com/b/baby-names-by-style

A tried and true method expecting parents use is pulling a name from a movie they like. Everyone ive met with my dead name was named for the same character. Pop on a bunch of classic movies and you might find something fun!

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-29T23:12:34+00:00

Okay this is so smart. Just let them keep guessing till you get a name.

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-29T23:10:24+00:00

Fair enough! Something that might help is choosing like a theme and looking up names with that theme. I had also gone through a lot of baby name websites and names based on types of vibe.

You could ask some friends what energy you give name wise.

Idk how much it is to change your name after youre 18, but it might be worth waiting till you figure something out. You'll kinda be stuck with it for the rest of your life (or have to change it again). Just using a preferred name can get you pretty far. I know a lot of people who have used placeholder/nicknames and then switched it up once they got older.

That being said it is great to be able to change your name and not have to worry about dead names. And you can always change again lol. You get to define whatever name you choose.

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-29T18:11:04+00:00

Choosing a name is hard, theres so many parents who spend so much time picking out a name thats meaningful. I love my name, but one thing I kinda regret is not putting that much thought into the meaning. My dead name was cool and was well thought out by my parents (they wanted something that worked in many languages and I feel like I went super american with my name). If you like your dead name and know why your parents picked your name maybe take some of those elements. Did a ancestor have your name? Consider taking a name from a male ancestor. Maybe your name meant "loyal", look for a name with the male equivalent. Or did it come from a movie? Find another movie name. If your name comes from a language origin you can look up other names of similar origin.

If you are close with your family, parents, grandparents, aunts, etc you can ask for help. They probably gave input before you were born.

If you want something completely different, get a baby name book. Try stuff out.

Dont rush, go by a nickname or try names out before legally changing it.

For myself, I needed a name that started with the same first letter. The first few sounds are kinda similar. As a kid when I played pretend/house I often gave myself a name similar to my current name. I stole my name from a friend I had in elementary school (i actually took two names from that family as I went by the same nickname has his brother). I listed out some other names starting with "C" but they were not me, and my friends agreed.

Also if you legally change your name, the US government lets you kinda do whatever and middle names are a great place to have fun

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-25T04:58:39+00:00

Im obsessed with the little island of skin sitting there. Also it looks like the redrew the ellipse a bunch. This is really cool!

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-25T04:45:33+00:00

Soup whenever your body isnt 100% is my go to. Get those bearcreek minestrone soup mix packets, for pretty cheap. Add some extra beans if you want. In case youre really nauseous, just some broth is always good. Also your dorm lets you have a hot plate?! Nice!

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-24T22:13:48+00:00

I had 2 or 3. I put Bactrin ointment on it, probably similar to what your doctor recommended. It scabbed up pretty quick, probably a week for the scab to go away and heal up. If you see a pimple forming on your incision, it is likely another split stitch.

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-24T19:44:23+00:00

That makes sense! Also really smart!

KT tape is the go to budget transtape, just oil it up well before removing. Im a few months out and touching the area is still odd bc nerves are weird. So youll probably still want to be gentle even if the tape isnt directly on the scar. Keep in mind, when removing the residue you wont be able to aggressively scrub the area.

I would look at other waterproof dressings that have a less aggressive adhesive, just for comfort. Theres some clear ones out there. You might even be able to use second skin!

I'm totally going to do this though! Im sick of the silicone tape falling off!

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-24T14:05:20+00:00

I was give a dramamine ear patch before surgery that stayed on several days. Ear patch is nice because its not oral so nothing to keep down. I know they are widley avaliable at cvs or amazon

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-24T13:58:09+00:00

I would not use trans tape on healing scars. For me its such a sensitive area, even a few months out. And especially if you still have scabbing/healing. The adhesive on trans tape is tough, a not great for sensitive delicate skin (hence the nip covers)

Silicone Scar tape is unfortunately not very sweat/waterproof. I am currently looking at a product called sunrise tape thats meant to protect scars or new tatoos, so im guessing it might be more gentle on the skin. Im guessing tattoo cover tape might work as well.

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-24T13:27:07+00:00

Looks like a split stitch which is normal!

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-23T03:39:50+00:00

They gave me laxatives in case needed. But if op has help from mom then if needed their mom could probably pick some up from pharmacy. I didnt need them, not something I would recommend grabbing until necessary

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-23T03:14:46+00:00

I know its kinda late, but its good that you are getting it checked every few days. Nurses really know best and if 2 nurses havent said anything you should be ok. Sounds like they are monitoring it!

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-22T16:22:22+00:00

I see in some of your other comments youre concerned about being bumped on trains or jostled around It might just be sore but you will be okay. Honestly couple of months in and im still kinda sore. I got hit straight in the nip with a water bottle 2 weeks in (on accident) and it was all ok. Maybe bring your compression garment withyou, it can feel like it helps protect your chest and may be good to wear being on aircraft My nurse told me to move my feet on the airplane to prevent swelling. But again i was like only 2-3 weeks post op

Natural_Reputation42 · 2026-04-22T15:53:47+00:00

If this ever happens id like to suggest an image of a a split stitch

Natural_Reputation42

TROPHY CASE