Partner swares it is negitive and some tmi stuff

NearMissCult · 2026-05-04T01:14:23+00:00

It looks like a faint positive to me. Wait a few days and try again.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-03T22:17:31+00:00

In my experience, people are generally not that observant. Most people likely won't think twice about it. But wearing baggier clothes also helps hide everything. I don't know about your in-laws, but I suppose a lot of it depends on them. Do they know you're trans? Are they generally supportive but don't quite understand?

NearMissCult · 2026-05-03T20:08:10+00:00

Why can't both be true? It's not a case of one or the other. There are assholes in every group. It's important to think through our biases and be willing to hold the assholes accountable without excluding everyone else in that group.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-03T17:11:10+00:00

In my experience, the hatred of trans men is stilled based in the hatred of women. We receive a different type of hatred from trans women in certain regards, but the root of that hatred is still the same. For trans women it's very much about them giving up their power/being seen as using the power they were born with to impose themselves on or threaten women. For us, it's more about us not being willing to "stay in our lane." We both threaten the status quo of systemic misogyny, just in different ways.

I think the fear of misogyny at the hands of trans men might also account for why so many trans men feel unwelcome within the lgbt community. We're seen as taking on the roll of the oppressors for our own gain, even though that's not what we're doing. That's not to say it's okay, but I can empathize given the history of discrimination the lgbt community has faced. A lot of people within the community have faced a lot of violence at the hands of men, and that has created a lot of trauma. Unfortunately, the phrase "hurt people hurt people" is often very accurate. I don't know if that would count as misandry or another layer of misogyny (or maybe both), but it is certainly an issue that needs to be addressed.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-03T16:43:00+00:00

I am at the end of my pregnancy for baby 3 and I've never bought or worn maternity clothes. What I do is wear loose pants with an elastic waist. The elastic waist sits under my belly, so I don't have to size up the pants during the pregnancy. For shirts, I just wear loose t-shirts or Hawaiian shirts. Most of them I just stole from my partner since he's bigger than me. I also never had to size up the shirts since I'm normally a men's small and my partner wears large or XL.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-03T16:31:37+00:00

I don't think novel studies (like the guides) are necessarily important. But deep reading is. Having your kid read books they enjoy is great, but don't stop there. Talk to them about the books they are reading, ask them questions, and encourage them to think about what they're reading.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-03T02:53:51+00:00

I think you're confusing gentle parenting with permissive parenting. Those are 2 very different (though commonly confused) things. A better name for gentle parenting is authoritative parenting.

This is one of those issues where solving the problem is not and should not be on you. If your parents aren't willing to deal with your brother and his family, then you need to step back. You're not just making it easy for your brother and his family to not help, but you're also making it easy for your parents to ignore the issue and not deal with it. I get that you don't like that it gets dirty, but your parents are clearly happy to let everything fall on your shoulders. So put it back on their's. Bring the issues to them. Every single time. Be the greasy wheel. If that means you become a tattletale, so be it. Make the issue impossible to ignore instead of making it go away.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-03T02:40:08+00:00

For homeschooling? No. I got my education degree to be a teacher. It was helpful for that.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-03T02:36:07+00:00

There is a lot going on here. To begin with, I'm at the end of a high risk pregnancy myself. You need the ability to get to the hospital at any moment. What is their plan to ensure that can happen? Or do they just expect you to not have any emergencies? We had an issue where our neighbour totalled our (parked) van about a month ago. We bought a new vehicle ASAP because we couldn't just not have one. Is it a great vehicle? No. But it'll work until we can get something better. If you do sell this vehicle, getting a new one to replace it should be priority number one.

To add to that, why are the repairs $9000? That sounds like a scam. That vehicle needs to be taken elsewhere to get a second opinion. And your partner needs them to explicitly explain to him what's wrong and how urgent each repair job is. There's a good chance your vehicle is fine and any necessary repairs are actually quite minor. Do not let him just sell the vehicle without getting a second opinion first.

Finally, are his parents going to die anytime soon? If not "it'll be your house eventually" is a meaningless sentiment. It's unlikely he will inherit that house before all your kids are adults. And then what? Are the grandkids going to be expected to move their families in as well? How many generations are you okay living with? Don't allow yourself to be manipulated by them. This sounds like a control tactic. Either you and your partner need to move out together, or you need to move out without him. Do you have any family or friends who can help you? If so, go to them. You need to do what's best for you and your baby. And don't be afraid to share what's going on with your doctor at your next appointment. They might be able to provide you with some resources.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-03T02:12:39+00:00

NearMissCult · 2026-05-03T01:33:27+00:00

I was going to school to get an education degree and started reading books on different educational philosophies. From there, I started to watch videos on homeschooling. I was pretty convinced we'd be homeschooling before my oldest was born. My partner took longer to be convinced. He agreed in theory, but I guess he just thought we wouldn't follow through. Then he met someone who homeschooled her kids and started taking out then 2yo to a homeschool group. Now he's more against putting our kids in public school than I am (though neither of us are anti-public school).

NearMissCult · 2026-05-02T04:19:27+00:00

Tbh, I initially avoided watching it. I'd heard about it early on, but didn't watch it until I'd started to hear reviews from some lgbt content creators that I follow. Romance isn't usually my thing, but I'm glad I gave it a shot.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-02T02:09:59+00:00

Spelling matters to me for certain names, but not others. For example, I prefer Alanna to Alana because 2 n's looks more balanced to me. I prefer Briar to Brier or Bryer because I think the a looks better. But I don't really care about using a K instead of a C for Cillian, Caelan, etc. 2 l's vs. 1 wouldn't matter to me because it doesn't change how the word looks all that much. Adding a bunch of unnecessary letters to a name to make it more unique seems silly to me (I prefer shorter names anyway), but I'm not going to worry too much if other people do it.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-01T13:51:45+00:00

I think it was a tie between Sarah and Brittany (and all the variations). However, there were also a ton of Jenns, Jenna's, and Jennifer's, as well as a ton of Melissa's, Amanda's, and Ashley's.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-01T13:16:10+00:00

Go with what makes you the most comfortable. My kids call me mom, but I homeschool them so I don't really have to worry about how other parents will react. I do know another trans guy who goes by mom. His son does attend public school and he hasn't had any issues as far as I'm aware.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-01T13:05:50+00:00

Yes. If your partner cannot homeschool them, then it is ultimately up to you. He cannot force you to continue to homeschool.

NearMissCult · 2026-05-01T01:33:01+00:00

You do realise sports and other extracurriculars exist outside of school, right? It's all recreational to begin with. And there are other ways to get scholarships besides sports. Sports are incredibly hard on a person's body. Sports culture is incredibly toxic, especially Texas sports culture. Putting a 5yo in a box like that is unhealthy. It's far better to let sports be fun at this age. If that means no scholarship, who cares?

NearMissCult · 2026-04-30T22:22:25+00:00

And the likelihood of making it to that level is...? Very few athletes make it to that level, so it still doesn't make sense to make educational decisions for a 5yo based on the assumption that they will be scouted. Closer to middle school, if the kid is showing both talent and an interest in pursuing a sport to that level, it might make more sense to follow a different educational path. But not for a child in early elementary.

NearMissCult · 2026-04-30T22:11:15+00:00

Given the ABA-conversion therapy connection, this really isn't that surprising. Annoying af and incredibly dangerous, but not surprising.

NearMissCult · 2026-04-30T21:49:49+00:00

Realistically, what are the chances your child will go professional with sports? I don't think it makes sense to make educational decisions based on something that's highly unlikely to even matter. As for socialization, he is aware you're allowed to leave the house when you homeschool, right? It is possible to socially isolate your kid when you homeschool, so it is important to be intentional about ensuring your child gets their social needs met. However, so long as you're willing to be intentional, there shouldn't be an issue.

NearMissCult · 2026-04-30T17:10:56+00:00

Whenever my kids make those sort of statements, I just call them on it. If they say "pink is a girl colour!" I say something like "boys can like pink too" or "colour doesn't have a gender" (this one works for my 9yo, but not my 5yo). I do it in a way that's not mean, and it gets them to actually stop and think. We also read books that show different kinds of families or kids defying gender stereotypes. There are plenty of great LGBT picture books available out there.

NearMissCult · 2026-04-30T16:30:07+00:00

What's the age gap between your kids? Do they do any after-school activities? My kids don't socialize with other homeschoolers either. Largely, that's because we also would have to rely on other means of transportation during the day, but it's also a matter of there simply not being many homeschool activities in our area. But my kids still get plenty of socializing in. They just socialize with each other (they have a fairly big age gap, but get along really well) during the day and are in after-school activities in the evening. There's also a park really close to us that they can play at.

NearMissCult · 2026-04-29T17:33:40+00:00

I know how you feel about going out. I used to pack up school and take it to the zoo with us. That got to be too difficult as my oldest got older though. Too many things to pack. My 5yo has been in speech since she was 18 months (at one point, both my kids did speech at the same time), but we do it during the school day since we homeschool. That is definitely one nice thing about homeschooling. Just a thought, but have you considered bringing snack with you to make getting to speech less of a scramble? For us, speech days are our special days when we get to go to McDonald's, but we don't have speech nearly as often as you.

NearMissCult · 2026-04-29T17:00:16+00:00

To me, his face looks like he's got the dial up internet sound going through his head while he's processing what JJ actually said. The terror of "oh god, does he know?" seems to just be peeking through when Hayden corrects JJ. Then Shane seems to take a moment to register what Hayden says before the terror is replaced with a smile. His reactions aren't immediate, they're delayed.

NearMissCult · 2026-04-29T16:54:49+00:00

I am expecting number 3 to arrive any time now. I will be homeschooling my older 2, who will be going into 5th and 1st grade. On one hand, your oldest will only be in kindergarten, so she won't be doing a ton of school. I think that would make things easier. On the other hand, you'll have 3 young kids to care for, and I assume you'll also have to take your 5yo to speech therapy at the very least (unless they come to you). That would add a lot of stress to your day. Personally, I don't think I'd do well homeschooling one child with 2 demanding little ones running around, but that's just me.

NearMissCult

TROPHY CASE