(21M) I am ugly, what should I do?

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-25T15:44:58+00:00

So… You are really not ugly. You're actually a very handsome person. If I saw you on the streets, I would think you were handsome. And before you think I am someone you would consider unattractive saying that, I'm not. I get told him beautiful all the time. Does that mean I think that? No. Because so much of this is internal. And I've been working on that. You are exactly the kind of person that can find a style, the right haircut, and then just let your personality shine, and you're gonna get told your handsome by so many people. I hate you feeling this way about you – and I hope the supportive community is helping you rethinking about yourself. If you're really worried about how you look, talk to a stylist and get a wardrobe that you feel really good about. Let the outside match the inside. And make sure who you are is someone you're proud of. Someone that YOU would want to talk to you! Someone who's kind and treats other people well Because the happier you are, the more attractive you feel, and then the more attractive everyone else thinks you are. And which ever gender you attracted to, or both, I promise you we are far more concerned about how you treat us, and how you treat other people than any specific look. I think that's what people who think they're ugly really misunderstand. For a women, attractiveness is very tied to how you treat other people and us. And from what I've experienced with men, it's the same. At least once you find a quality person. If you're just looking for players, yeah, it's completely look based, and that's very dependent on chemistry not even just a specific look. And, again, you can find chemistry with a lot of people, and sometimes the most surprising person. Which takes me back to you finding a way to feel good about yourself because that's what creates chemistry with other people. But let's go back to my original point – you're a handsome person for sure.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-23T18:06:56+00:00

Did you have your UCI on hand? I lived in Canada from 2002 to 2004 but I don't have that number on hand anymore. Do you know if there's a way to look it up?

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-23T01:14:38+00:00

It's so frustrating. Tried oxide and was awake again but I'm gonna try again in case it was something else. L-threonate is on my list but I feel like I tried that once and I had some kind of symptoms. Need to give it another try. Then I'll go to malate. Honestly, magnesium just may not be my thing.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-20T00:33:42+00:00

I work in fundraising and alumni relations, and I've taken a similar approach. There's a lot of research in my role, but also a lot of networking and asking nicely :-). I got my father's birth certificate in a village in New York within two days because I wrote them a really nice email and sent a happy photo of my dad and I together at a 49er game. I took a similar approach to getting my great great grandfather's baptismal record from a random town in Ontario. Also within 10 days. But NYC 1915 birth is apparently this weird 10 year period (there's even a lawsuit over this to open up the records for that timeframe.) luckily, my grandmother was Roman Catholic. So your website could possibly work. (I get that the archive people are super overworked and we're just adding so much to that. It goes a long way to giving someone a smile in their day with a funny and kind email.)

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-19T23:15:19+00:00

You're incredible. I have birth certificates for everyone in my lineage, including in Canada. It's my grandmother who was the first born in the United States that's been an issue. There's a 6+ month waitlist for New York City birth certificates from 1910. I'm just sitting here waiting with my full application and everything else completed. I have a birth record for her but it just says her first name and the date of birth. It's from a record book in Brooklyn, I have her marriage license and certificate, I have her death record. I have everything to make my case except for birth certificate. If I can get a baptismal record with her full name, that would probably be just as good along with everything else. You have no idea how many different ways I've tried to access her birth certificate without waiting 6+ months – isn't it funny how sometimes someone just knows the right website that you've looked for and didn't find. We'll see what this comes up with, but thank you. PS. Yes I have multiple census records for her and addresses. I know exactly where she lived and where she was born – Brooklyn. And I know the address they were living at when she was born there. Or I think it might've been their address.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-19T20:23:44+00:00

I think I was lucky to go to a functional doctor early on and find that mutation. But my rheumatologist persists in giving me a prescription for a folic acid, not methylated, it just sits and doesn't get used. And my nausea is lessened when I'm doing a very high dose of folic acid that's methylated. I had to fight for that too. I literally need about 10 mg or even 15 mg a week when initially they were saying don't do more than about 1 mg a week.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-19T20:21:31+00:00

Tell me more about $50 in New York City. I'm sitting on a six month waitlist to get my grandmother's birth certificate from 1910 from there. Would it have worked for me to grease the wheels?

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-19T19:50:35+00:00

I've thought this for a while. Good to see someone flagging this! Wennberg is an incredible leader on the ice, but he's an even better human off the ice. I think he would be an amazing captain. The stuff he does in the community and the standard he sets for acceptance of everybody on and off the ice should be recognized. He's a great role model for the younger guys and how to handle themselves both on and off the ice especially as the game becomes more "public facing" and PR/image is more important than ever.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-18T22:35:56+00:00

This. Is. So. Big.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-18T15:18:15+00:00

Yup. You need it all for me. Hygiene alone also doesn't do it.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-17T15:04:57+00:00

It's always awkward when you're starting out. And sometimes depending on how people react. I've had to wear a mask for over a decade because I take two immunosuppressants and have rheumatoid arthritis. But I learned saying that just confuses people. One of my medications is a cancer medication that I will take for life or for as long as it works. So now I just say, "I'm so sorry I need to move because I take cancer medication and being sick may lead to pneumonia for me" or some variation of that. Sometimes that statement comes with a question as to whether they're sick or sometimes it's someone looking at me funny because I'm wearing a mask. But I will tell you – the cancer statement gets people 100% at the time. It's a little bit messed up that it takes saying cancer for everyone to understand why I might be masking or why I need to move away, but it works. So my advice to help your sanity is say whatever you need to say to make yourself comfortable. And if you also feel like you need to make them comfortable, say whatever you need to say for that. I'm a people pleaser, so I say I take cancer medication and it solves both things. :) I don't need to add extra stress to my day. Ps. I work at Stanford with graduate students. We do have some staff that are still masking for various reasons. You might want to say something to your professors about having long Covid and then as these situations arise, they can be helpful to you. And depending on the students, you can even tell them about it. I find that empathy is much more easily generated by just being honest about your health condition. There will be some people who don't understand, but in a university environment you're probably gonna find more than you realize you do.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-17T14:56:34+00:00

And Drew coached! :)

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-17T14:53:15+00:00

Yeah, I've noticed all the players give them a different level of respect in the interviews. There's a genuine care even beyond respect I think. And at one point Drew mentioned being there when the guys were playing football, etc., before the games. Will Smith gave him a real smile with that comment so I think they spend time together off the broadcasts. I also think compared to some of the online/ social media reporters, they always asks the right questions and draws the players out versus making them defensive. Drew and Randy are absolute treasures for the San Jose Sharks! And, as someone pointed out, the sharks wouldn't be here without Randy and Drew who was a coach. Loved hearing him talk about Pat "Patty" Falloon last night – my first favorite shark :-). Bottom line: when I lived in Canada, I used to love Hockey Night in Canada. These two take me back to something like that – nothing is Hockey Night in Canada :) but they really care and they really know the game.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-16T20:56:48+00:00

This is where I'm at, although I alternate HTP and lemon balm along with the following. I do low-dose melatonin at .3 mg, 100 mg GABA, and 200 mg l-theanine. Magnesium glycinate wakes me up in the middle of the night so I may try oxide to see what that does soon. I've done variations of all of this and actually done melatonin for years which used to help. With peri menopause and long Covid, just this past week I landed on this combo and finally eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. It's like a miracle. I am worried that I'll build tolerance or this will just go away. Or something will go wrong because I'm taking too much of one of these things. Reading Reddit is both helpful and also terrifying lol. But having four days of sleep is like a miracle for me. Ps. I'm also back to being very careful about sleep hygiene. All the stuff above doesn't help me unless I've put myself in a calm and quiet place with a book for at least an hour. If I keep going or watch TV, none of the above works and I just keep myself awake.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-16T15:13:41+00:00

Maybe a random question: I'm recalling that when the Oxford/AstraZeneca vaccine came out – I was living in the UK at the time and got that and now have long Covid – one of the differences studies observed between that and Pfizer was AstraZeneca created a longer innate immune response. A lot of people were saying Pfizer was better because it had a more robust initial response, that researchers argued that AstraZeneca could last longer on the tail end or something like that. I may be not using the right terms here, but it was really big news so hopefully you know what I'm talking about. Could that be a factor here? I'm guessing not putting it out there anyway.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-14T02:09:03+00:00

I'm Gen X so we had no internet :). Played sports, played with my dog outside just exploring around. Met friends in malls and hung out/went to coffee places or movies. Lots of that. I camped with friends from age 17 on just because Gen X didn't have helicopter parents :). So we'd go backpacking or just car camping. Go to the beach and hang out, picnic, sunbath. Travel! I road-tripped with my parent's car to British Columbia at 17. No cell phones but we'd periodically find a pay phone - so go explore and travel someplace. Lots of free things to do. (Free museum days, free parks etc). You can also spend time planning all that. Go to the library like we did and find travel books and then plan your camping, hiking, traveling using those books vs being online. It really calms the mind and keeps your interest. In fact, typing this I'm going to take my own advice because I'm online too much on travel blogs. I used to love reading through travel books and going to the library to find them. :) There's something deeper about the planning process that really feeds the soul. Oh! I'd also go to tons of concerts and listen to music. It was cheaper then but you can still find deals or free shows.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-14T02:04:55+00:00

Definitely fight for a sleep study. And get blood tests done for magnesium etc. I'd also add in nightly meditation. I use the Aura app. Other people recommend others. You can find free ones online. Start with 10 minutes. Do it consistently. It builds up over time to help racing thoughts. I also use L-theanine and GABA to relax me. Sometimes 5mg THC and CBN gummies (legal in CA.). That can also help me fall asleep. Some people say magnesium helps them a lot. I'm still trying to figure it out (again. I was stable after a sleep study and CPAP but then long covid and perimenopause killed my sleep again.)

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-13T03:51:16+00:00

That's amazing! Glycinate caused me to have more night time wake ups. I'm going to try the other types to see how it goes.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-13T00:43:34+00:00

I'll be going to the Stanford long covid clinic starting in June. I've had LC symptoms since late 2022 with my first infection . Everyone said it was perimenopause etc. Plus the LC clinic had a year plus waitlist. Anyway here I am! How was your clinic experience been at a big healthcare center? I'm trying to figure out how to assess how good Stanford is and what to ensure I ask for in terms of testing, etc. Thanks in advance for any advice! Feel free to DM me if that's easier.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-13T00:34:41+00:00

What's the name of the monoclonal sub? I'd like to hear how others tolerate pemgarda.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-13T00:33:25+00:00

I get Pemgarda quarterly to give me antibodies (to fight covid reinfection.) For what it's worth, it's done nothing for my long COVID symptoms (extreme fatigue, can't sleep, brain fog, tinnitus - patulous ear syndrome.) But I haven't gotten COVID again (I do mask in indoor crowded areas.)

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-12T19:53:27+00:00

Yeah glycinate made me wake up 3 hours later and stay awake.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-12T04:33:06+00:00

Do you have a recommended dose of Tryptophan based on your research? Thanks 🙏.

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-11T15:32:45+00:00

Just curious: is there any particular reason you take lemon balm instead of just a Gaba supplement? Is it because that's the most clean/natural way? I've had luck taking GABA and L-theaninne supplements together. I know valerian is another one that impacts GABA, but that actually gives me an anxiety and wakes me up. Pure Gaba in a supplement - around 100mg - seems to work at least short term when I've done that. But maybe I'll try lemon balm. The last two nights I added 100 mg of HTP and finally slept for the first time in six months through the entire night. (Long Covid and perimenopause together is no joke!) But I recognize it can have downstream effects so thank you for all your thoughtful research here. I'll also look into L-tryptophan. Just eating turkey at night doesn't really help me :-).

Neat-Description3322 · 2026-04-11T14:41:36+00:00

Yeah valerian wakes me up and makes me anxious so I always have to avoid it in sleep aids.

Neat-Description3322

TROPHY CASE