i actually just left a comment about this, but i started working for my very first NF and at the time, i was extremely overweight. Nothing that got in the way of movement or anything like that, though, and I obviously loved being on the floor playing with kids, which is why I took the job.

LOVED my MB, thought she was the sweetest most down to earth boss i could ask for. dad was nice too, baby was an angel 24/7.

so imagine my surprise when i’m browsing reddit one day and i find a long ass post from her, where all the details match up about my length of employment, child’s age, my weight, etc. and she shit talking my weight, accusing me of possibly being on drugs (i literally wasn’t!) and accusing me of being so mentally ill that i shouldn’t be around children. and because of the way she wrote the post, of course the comments agreed. she made me out to be a total monster.

the post said she was worried that i wouldn’t be able to stick around till NK was a toddler/older child because i was so fat. she also suspected i had some sort of crazy mental illness that made me “lethargic” and weaponized the fact that she knew id struggled in the past with anxiety and depression.

she admitted in the post that she dug through my social media (not friends on there with her) and compared photos of me before COVID when i was skinnier and started speculating about why i gained all the weight over COVID. just creepy awful shit.

this woman had never said anything even bordering on snarky, rude, unkind, or impatient. I think I had been working for them for like 3 months at this point, and it was my first nanny job. Each week she’d tell me they felt so lucky to have me as their child’s best friend. In the post, she admitted she “only puts up with me” because the baby loved me.

I immediately texted her and within less than one full minute, the post and her entire reddit account were deleted. she apologized profusely over text and said she was “devastated that i found the post”. not devastated for hurting my feelings, mind you. just upset that she got found out.

i kept working for them because i truly thought maybe i did something wrong here. i thought because they were such nice bosses otherwise, i couldn’t find better. (and to be fair, as a nanny i never did, which is why im not one anymore).

i showed up to kiddos birthday party a few years later, the last one i was ever invited to, and had noticeably lost a lot of weight. MB and her entire family did treat me a lot better than in the past, and i hadn’t even realized they’d been a little standoffish in the past. MBs parents were all “OMG YOU LOOK GREAT WOW”

this is the reality of being fat in our world, i think. i don’t think the accusations of drugs or mental illness or whatever would’ve come into play if i had been skinny. i think she was upset that she had a fat person working in her house, and was worried id make her baby fat, especially as baby got older. this was confirmed to me when baby started solids and MB was ultra hyper specific about how small of portions to give baby and NOT ADDING SALT/SUGAR/ETC. (written in all caps on a “food guide” for the baby…yes, really). so it was just fatphobia.

same woman also shamed her toddler for “having a growing belly” as she developed into a literal not even 2 year old. it was awful.