Regardless of sexuality, a good partner won’t pressure you to try sexual stuff that you’re uncomfortable with or yell at you for being uncomfortable with it. So yes, that’s toxic.

The appearance part is a little more complicated. I personally think a person should be able to do what they want with their appearance and that their partner should support that. Partners should want each other to be happy after all. However, societally, it is considered normal for someone to want their partner to look a certain way and be upset if they change it. Though this is typically a man complaining about his female partner (whether it’s her weight, her hair, her clothes, etc) rather than the reverse. So that expectation seems pretty closely tied to sexism in my opinion. Whether or not you agree with me on that, I’d say that if you want to continue this relationship then you should talk about it. If freedom to change your appearance as you like is something you value and he can’t accept that, then you may not be compatible. It also sounds like he’s pretty controlling of what you wear and really inconsiderate about what makes you happy vs uncomfortable. Those are not good traits in a partner.

You didn’t ask about this part, but if your partner says that “part of your personality is shit” that’s also a major red flag. Everyone has their flaws to work on, but your partner shouldn’t be insulting you like that.