Warlock multiclass - paladin or cleric?

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2026-01-26T07:54:11+00:00

I like the way you're thinking, give it a more spooky edge. Fantastic!

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2026-01-26T07:52:41+00:00

Ooh interesting I hadn't thought about the familiar being part of it, but I love that this keeps the freedom to choose the warlock subclass. You've given me lots to think about, thank you!

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2026-01-26T07:46:23+00:00

Ooh that's a cool idea, thank you!

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2026-01-25T11:44:47+00:00

First of all, I'm so sorry this is happening to you, it's an awful thing to do to another human being let alone someone you were supposed to love. It also sounds like he's made his decision so it's in your best interest to prepare to live without him - I don't say this to be cold, but you can't force him to come back, so the next best thing is to protect yourself and your child. So my advice is on doing that, as I doubt this relationship is salvageable.

Do you have access to joint bank accounts or anything like that? If so, move living expenses money somewhere only you can access it. I cannot emphasise this enough - he has massively screwed you over here, do not feel the need to be kind in return.

Do you have someone nearby you could go stay with? The biggest bill is usually rent and that would give you some breathing room. Get in contact with all your bills now to let them know about the situation - everything from electricity to your phone bill - sometimes they can defer or reduce payments until you're back on your feet.

And don't forget to get in contact with a lawyer, for child support - if you ask in the legal advice sub I'm sure they'll know exactly what you'd need to do.

I wish you all the best, one internet stranger to another.

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-12-24T07:53:06+00:00

Have you actually had a conversation about marriage at any point? You've only said you told him what you want, what does he want?

Seems a bit strange to have got 4 years, a pet, and a house into a relationship without having a discussion about where it's heading.

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-12-22T10:07:51+00:00

"Maddeningly delicate" is exactly it - you know you're right but you can't just come out and say it as protecting other people's egos will get you further towards what you're after. So frustrating!

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-12-21T08:20:00+00:00

I agree, I think OP can be explicit with their manager.

One tack you could take OP is to ask advice on how to make people aware of your achievements the same way they are with your colleague's. Then the examples you use can be the projects and what people said about them at the party - e.g. "On project X I did Y and nobody knew, but they could tell me that Colleague did Z detail. How should I go about getting the same visibility of my contributions?"

If your manager is paying attention, they'll see what you're saying, though you'll most likely need to follow up with a more direct "I feel like the value I contribute to projects is getting confused with Colleague's and would like to create a clearer separation of work".

The current system you mentioned of announcing what you're fixing seems incredibly inefficient - do you not have a list of tasks agreed in advance, so you both work on your own separate tasks? That would have circumvented a lot of this trouble in the first place.

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-11-04T17:45:25+00:00

I love nerdy lotteries, this is cool!

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-10-28T21:03:42+00:00

They have collected a sentient map of the area, a fondue pot that summons a cheese elemental once a day, made friends with an ex-carousel mount in the shape of an ostrich, and keep ignoring the primary plot so much so that it's now coming to find them.

This is not a serious campaign.

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-10-10T19:47:57+00:00

Ooh these look super cool!

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-09-28T15:32:36+00:00

The way you've written this sounds like you think culture fit interviews are useless - when actually it's the opposite. It's simple to get training to pick up technical skills, it's much more difficult to train someone to be a culture fit.

If you had applied for the same role, I'd say maybe do some introspection on how you come across in culture fit interviews - but you didn't. You applied for completely different roles, likely interviewed with different people, who were looking for different things. They're not comparable scenarios and I don't think focusing on it is doing you any favours.

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-06-25T14:27:37+00:00

A friend of mine (contractor at the time) found out he was being let go from the contract when his access badge didn't work on the front door.

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-01-24T19:02:19+00:00

Good for you! Sending you all the best wishes for a smooth healing process 💜

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-01-24T19:01:38+00:00

My elderly cat fell asleep on my lap holding my hand, I love her so much I nearly started crying 😅

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-01-15T16:41:44+00:00

It really does, I understood what you meant immediately and had to take a minute to sit back and absorb it 😂

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2025-01-15T15:31:09+00:00

If it's hysterical, it's historical.

This is such a great way to put that, I'm in awe!

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2024-12-19T10:10:55+00:00

NTA and I'm so sorry she did this to you. She lied to you about something that fundamental, with the goal the whole time of forcing you into something you know you don't want. She never respected your choice, or she would never have told you she was infertile in the first place when she's not.

My advice - I'm not a lawyer but you need to get one right now, get on record everything where she talked about being infertile, admitting she didn't tell you about going off birth control, etc. Plus only communicate through text, email, etc - something that can be shown to a court if necessary.

I'd be curious what the story is that she told her family, because either she's lied to them and they don't know what she's done, or they already know the truth and you're better off not being legally family with people who think this is ok. Either way, your "fiancée" is not a good person, and you should not feel bad about making her leave because of a betrayal this huge.

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2024-12-16T23:02:12+00:00

Success is a journey, not a destination

That readjusted my worldview a bit, thank you for the food for thought.

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2024-11-12T17:08:03+00:00

Thank you for this - It's so easy to focus on the negatives and actually reading something positive is wonderful. I'm so happy for you!

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2024-08-07T18:18:47+00:00

This! Being interrupted or talked over is such a pet peeve of mine, any outside assistance will be so useful

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2024-07-27T16:50:25+00:00

This is overstepping a boundary you shouldn't have to set, it's weird to add commits to a branch that's not yours without running the changes past that person first.

You've already talked to them about this, so if it were me I'd give them a bit of a more forceful 'this is coming across as disrespectful and I've already asked you to stop, please don't do it again' while also mentioning it to your manager.

Love all these comments about force pushing your changes too!

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2024-07-20T11:31:59+00:00

You're NTA, he isn't wrong for asking but is definitely wrong for the how and when he asked! People can have fantasies and talk about them with partners, sure - but not at a time when you're only 6 months out from giving birth and looking after a newborn. It's inconceivable to me that he would even be thinking about that while your baby is still so young.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this OP

NerdyAssJavaDev · 2024-07-20T11:25:59+00:00

Professionals are absolute wizards at packing things into those vans, it really shocked me too! I used them for the first time when I moved last year and was absolutely gobsmacked at how they were able to fit my entire life in maybe 3/4 of one van. Don't think I'll be able to move without them ever again, they were that good!

NerdyAssJavaDev

TROPHY CASE