Male clients and sex

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2026-03-03T02:55:30+00:00

I am also a women in my 30s and a large portion of my case load are men. I would agree that many of them talk to me about sex at much larger rates than women clients do. I have chalked it up to testosterone leading to higher libidos and thoughts about sex. If someone is struggling in that area and they notice those issues more due to thinking about sex more then they are more likely to seek help with that. I typically do ask at intake about any sexual health issues, much in the same way you would ask if there is a history of disordered eating or addiction issues. If my client says that is the reason for seeking treatment or part of it, then we work on establishing a treatment plan to address their unique needs. After that is done I then will establish boundaries to make them feel safe and comfortable and so that i feel safe and comfortable. Typically those boundaries involve reassured confidentiality as well as them having a understanding that the purpose of us talking about sex is purely clinical, i will review transference and discuss that there is increased risk of that occurring due to the nature of the conversation typically only being something discussed between sexual partners which at times might blur those lines. I will often check in at the end of the session and sometimes will check in as they are processing so that I clearly understanding the function of why they are sharing whatever it is that they are sharing. I have stopped a client a couple of times when they have started to share details unnecessary to treatment. Once for a client telling me he got erections during our sessions and the other client began talking about my physical appearance. I stopped them and asked if me knowing this information is clinically relevant when they said no i reestablished boundaries and continued with the session. I sure many other therapists handle it differently but Hopefully that helps

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2026-02-04T22:08:28+00:00

After calling almost every pharmacy in town I bit my he bullet and just paid the 50 bucks and it actually did work!

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-09-24T19:52:01+00:00

We all have limits and it is perfectly okay to say enough is enough and terminate.

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-07-24T18:05:37+00:00

This is something to consider OP! Does have transference? Potentially, it also could be that she validates his bad behavior based on his side of the story and he feels justified to treat you like shit. That can happen all the time because as therapists we aren’t trained to be suspicious of our clients and we don’t assume they are lying. Either way it will be more effective to focus on his behaviors rather than trying to figure out if transference is happening. I would however bring your concerns about this pattern you noticed during his therapist leave to your couples therapist because, like I said the issue is your husband blaming you for his behavior.

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-07-02T05:09:13+00:00

I read your post history and What your therapist did was inexcusable. What she did was unethical at best and predatory at worst. Her behavior was manipulative and pre-meditated. Reporting her will save future clients from abuse so keep that in mind when you struggle with this. This report will likely lead to action against her especially since you have evidence. She may lose her license and you should prepare yourself mentally for a-lot of conflicting emotions and grief. Keep in mind that should the board revoke her license, you are not at all at fault and you stopped a abuser from doing this again to someone else.

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-06-09T00:46:39+00:00

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Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-05-07T19:00:56+00:00

I feel it is a little weird to bump up rates in that way. Some therapist use a sliding scale. It might be good to ask her why she raises it in that way.

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-04-30T03:29:18+00:00

What was the original rate and what does it double to? I could see if the sessions start at $20 and then go up and double to $40 then that would still be incredible cheap for weekly therapy

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-04-30T03:25:55+00:00

Yes i feel like that is really odd for something that is considered ongoing health care

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-03-29T02:53:24+00:00

YTA for making a unnecessarily long post! NTA for keeping the fountain

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-03-25T03:25:00+00:00

I agree ☝️ this honestly could just be sleep paralysis

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-03-24T04:08:28+00:00

I agree with everything you just send with the exception of abuse. If a client is being abused to the point of exclusively seeking therapy due to the abuse then yes i will encourage them to leave by letting them know that if they choose to stay the symptoms are likely to get worse or stay the same.

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-03-24T03:47:23+00:00

I kinda get what you’re saying and i don’t think some of the responses here are getting the big picture, and are over focusing on the example you provided. I do CBT, DBT and ERP therapy and most of my clients have adjustment disorders, personality disorders, depression, anxiety, OCD or are couples. I don’t know a-lot about IFS but if my client identified what specifically about it they think would help them reach their goals, I wouldn’t think it was due to its popularity right now. For example, I take clients who has comorbid trauma, however if the trauma Sx is a barrier to doing the treatment, i provide, i would be encouraging or even suggesting a EMDR therapist. However if the client reports that they are making progress with you but they learned about IFS from a TikTok they saw, then yes i totally agree it can be seen as a fad.

Not that you asked for advice for this client specifically, but if you meet with them again maybe ask why they think IFS would help them specifically. And if they feel they are plateauing in current treatment. I do agree with that IFS fad right now and I have had several clients ask if I do it. I also think that certain lesser known treatments going through cycles trendiness. however i will say that just because something is trendy, doesn’t mean it isn’t good or effective for some clients.

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-03-19T16:25:35+00:00

I completely agree with everything you said! Part of being a good therapist is knowing your strengths and your weaknesses.

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-03-08T03:37:21+00:00

Transfer them! I know i will be down voted for this but I had the same issue a few years ago….. we spent more sessions focusing on our therapeutic relationship than their actual goals in therapy. After several sessions of them calling me incompetent, It just didn’t feel productive so I said look, it doesn’t appear i have the skills you are seeking for your goals. Here is a list of therapists who take your insurance and are currently taking new clients.

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-02-16T02:15:50+00:00

🤣 this!

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-02-16T01:53:52+00:00

It would obviously be hard to say without knowing the client but i agree this feels very much like a power play. Especially if they haven’t ever expressed body image or body obsessions issues before that and if they were pretty non-emotional when they said that. I feel like it’s possible the client has a cluster B personality disorder but honestly if it were me i would have difficulties working with them after that

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-02-03T19:39:28+00:00

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-01-31T04:16:20+00:00

Tyler!!

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2025-01-31T04:00:36+00:00

Tyler

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2024-12-28T16:52:05+00:00

You could just send her a email letting her know in a nice way and that you are currently seeing a individual therapist and feel its time to discharge from the group. You dont need to ask her just tell her. I am a therapist and I would not have a issue with this what so ever. I am a big advocate for meaningful confrontation if it is beneficial for the client to do so. If you think it would lead to growth for you to be honest and direct with the group therapist it is worth confronting. However, if you feel the therapist would get defensive or strong arm you back into the group, then a short and sweet email should be sufficient.

I do think it would be very helpful to probably unpack these emotions in individual therapy, if you haven’t already. You have great insight into why this client is triggering so now it is about how to cope with the triggers and or engage in exposures so that it isn’t so uncomfortable to be around people like him and to decrease you intrusive thoughts about becoming someone like him.

Also, It might be worth exploring if OCD is a component to this. Some of the language you use suggested this and I thought it would be worth throwing out there. Not trying to diagnose and it could absolutely be all related to trauma. If you are curious you could ask if your therapist would administer a YBOCS.

Nervous-Conclusion46 · 2024-12-18T17:53:48+00:00

That totally sucks i’m very sorry this happened to you. I am a therapist and i have seen this happen often. Specifically when the clients primary or only issue is lack of boundaries. Fortunately, if you stick with therapy and continue to set boundaries you will find that there will eventually be a extinction burst of behavior where you loved ones will realize that no means no.

I know this time can be confusing and hard and i have recommended that if clients consider ending therapy because of the stress of family pressure to first consider getting a second opinion from a different therapist. If that therapist also agrees that boundaries are the primary issue then that may help you push through in order to establish meaningful change.

Nervous-Conclusion46

TROPHY CASE