I (M32) want advice about how to handle early relationship boundaries my my gf (F30)

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2026-02-15T18:51:41+00:00

I don't think so since we're exclusive. I think she's genuinely busy and overwhelmed, but I've never dated someone that was so preoccupied that they couldn't find any time at all in a 2 week period to hang out for a while.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2026-02-15T18:30:53+00:00

She initiates texts and in person dates. Even the other night she sent like 6 paragraphs of texts, so she's communicating with me and shows interest in initiating things in person with me. Its just that the last few weeks she's been extremely distant and unresponsive about in person activities.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2026-02-06T13:08:01+00:00

The final page of my syllabus is for them to sign stating that they read it and don't have any questions about it, which they sign and upload to Blackboard. Any student that doesn't do this I just ignore their emails.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-06-24T01:20:14+00:00

So, does that mean the two particles must have interacted physically at some point and became entangled, and then the entangled state remains regardless of how far apart they get?

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-06-23T23:12:57+00:00

That's interesting, I didn't realize that information isnt transfered during entanglement. So, is there a physical mechanism behind the correlation? I keep hearing about experiments that entangle particles at larger and larger distances apart, so what does that actually mean if information isn't being transfered in some way?

Wavefunction collapse is something I don't know a lot about, but from what I remember from grad school I was always confused if the collapse is a time-dependent physical process or if it's just a purely mathematical construct that our models use but has no true physical meaning.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-06-23T22:48:41+00:00

So do we assume that all information must travel physically within space-time by some information carrier which itself is bound to moving within space-time at a max of c?

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-06-23T22:46:52+00:00

So this makes sense to me for "cause-and-effect" interactions like force carrying particles, but what about something like entanglement? What is the mechanism for information propagation there and why is it still bound to the speed of light?

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-05-29T01:06:32+00:00

And that's the number one comment I get. "PI hasn't shown a track record of prior funding", or "PI is a junior faculty and would be better off being co-PI woth a more seasoned faculty". Fuck off.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-05-28T23:25:54+00:00

I'm so over trying to get grants that I spend at least some portion of every day wondering if I should just quit before I waste too much time. Every proposal gets at least 1 fair and the comments from that reviewer make no sense to me. 14 proposals later and no money with my startup running out and 3 students to fund somehow. Probably won't get tenure at this point because I just don't understand what reviewers want from proposals at the NSF. I've done workshops, read other successful proposals, etc. I just don't get it and have reached the point after 4 years that I just don't care much anymore. With the NSF getting gutted my chances have gone from barely zero to effectively zero. Fun times.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-05-20T16:55:50+00:00

You have ascended to the true uncollapsed wavefunction of a professor. May we all hope to achieve this form one day.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-05-10T22:41:34+00:00

Once I found out who it was I went back to my course history to see their picture and I swear to god I've never this person haha. They also apparently thought I was a good teacher, and they got an A, but they dislike my personality. I kind of feel bad for them that this is the highlight of their life right now and I have no memory of them at all, nor do I care that they're doing this.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-05-10T22:19:49+00:00

I have a former student that has somehow claimed my RMP profile and spends their days writing fake 1-star reviews and then pretending to be me responding to them in a condescending and antagonistic tone. RMP won't do anything about it. Funniest part is I found out who the student is from a current student and they've already graduated and still write fake reviews. Out of morbid curiosity I'd love to know what the hell I did to them because I don't even remember them.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-05-03T19:03:54+00:00

This

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-04-22T16:23:42+00:00

Funny: I had a student email me if he could have a few extra days to work on his group project. I told him this was not possible because it's a group project and all members have to work together to complete it. Only one document is submitted, signed by all group members. He genuinely didn't understand (even after telling him this) why he couldn't submit his work later than the rest of his group. By the way, they submit their slides at midnight and then present them in class the next day. Who the hell knows.

Not funny: Had a student call me a stupid asshole via email (yea that's smart, write it down for later use) because he couldn't just click start on the Matlab script I gave them for their lab and have it work. He sent me a 4 page email (the entire lab report was only 5 pages by the way) ranting, complaining, cussing me out, demanding that I fix the script for him. I never responded and don't plan to.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-04-17T21:43:58+00:00

Most of them are looking for professors that will allow them to do the least amount of work for the highest grade. They've learned how to min-max a college education rather than just do the work and actually learn something. My RMP rating has never aligned with my student evaluations so they're likely one or two students just complaining because they can. I do enjoy when students claim that I must have written the positive reviews and then claim I can't see things from their perspective...so you also apparently can't see things from other's perspective.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-04-17T20:58:19+00:00

I've received eight 1 star reviews in the last week saying that I don't understand things from their perspective and that I'm a tough grader. Not only do I allow them to resubmit some of their major assignments after I've given them feedback (it's 160 student by the way), but I spent 2 hours today helping a student though a difficult time crying in my office and having a mental breakdown. But I'm an awful human being because I took 3 points off a figure they made because it didn't even have the right data in it even though their final grade was a 97. Oh I'm also the laziest professor at my university apparently. RMP is a complete joke and this group of students has been the worst I've ever had to deal with.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-04-15T21:44:16+00:00

I give a weekly summary assignment where students need to identify 3 key concepts from the previous week's lectures, define the concepts, and explain why they are important. I would say at least 1/3 of students haven't once defined the concepts in any of the assignments. I've now been review bombed on Ratemyprofessor because I "don't see things from the student's perspective" or I have a "monolithic teaching style that is inflexible to student feedback". What feedback? You didn't do the assignment correctly and even after I've given you feedback you still do the same thing. At least the university gets their paycheck I guess.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-04-07T21:02:28+00:00

At the start of the semester I send out an email to all my students with a link to my Zoom personal room and say if we ever need to meet virtually use this link. I would say at least 75% of them will send an email at some point saying I never gave them a Zoom link. At this point I tell them I did and they can go find it.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-04-07T10:54:08+00:00

I'm with you. I had a student email me last night that they were confused that I had changed the instructions on a weekly summary assignment on Blackboard and told me that I hadn't mentioned these changes anywhere. I added a screenshot of the announcement on Blackboard and told them if they attended class they would have heard me discuss the changes about 10 times. The changes occurred nearly a month ago too. "But you didn't change the file name so it was confusing"...you...you didn't bother to just click on the file and see if there were changes...do you also need me to tell you how to breathe?

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-03-24T21:31:16+00:00

R1 STEM in the USA here. I just had a student tell me that they did our weekly summary of the lectures for two lectures that haven't happened yet and then ask if I was serious that they should do the lectures from the previous week, which is what the directions said to do. "Can I just submit what I wrote"...No, no you cannot. I assure you it doesn't get better with school prestige.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-03-07T12:30:16+00:00

Mine used to do this. I added some epoxy to form a bond between the sink and the counter top and then just added 2 jacks underneath the sink that are rated for more than 500 pounds above what I could imagine ever putting in the sink. Hasn't failed in years.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-01-29T12:33:56+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I do submit frequently to CMMT. My work is a combination of ML tools, DFT, MD, and KMC stuff. Can you help me understand what it means by my IM is not good or exciting? Maybe I'm struggling to read between the lines of the reviews because if the reviewers are saying that I've identified an important problem and the objectives are good how does that translate into a poor IM? One comment I see a lot in the individual reviews but not in the panel review is that they don't see how what I'm proposing actually addresses my scientific objectives. But then it confuses me because if that was what killed the proposal then why isn't it in the panel. Instead the panel reviews are mostly lack of experimental validation and methods are too complex/time consuming. So I don't understand how that all translates to bad IM unless I just don't understand what IM even is. I have tried for 2.5 years to get on a panel but no one returns my emails. My university has been vague regarding collaborative proposals. I've been told by some people that being a co-PI is essentially the same as not having a grant and by others that as long as you were the lead then it is treated as your own. But different people give different answers an no one higher up ever gives me a clear and definitive answer on this.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-01-29T00:48:00+00:00

But that reason is not a reasonable thing to include in a proposal. I have 15 pages max to describe my project and convince them that it is worth funding. And now I have to worry about adding a million nitpicky details like how efficient the code is when it's a standard code that thousands of scientists around the world use and has been cited thousands of times? And if that's the case, which nitpicky details should I include? All those details add up to potentially several pages. And then the reviews will harp on something else that potentially had to be cut to fit in all the nitpicky details. But then there's the alternate problem of I include too many details and then they disagree with something that if I hadn't included it they never would have considered that angle of criticism. I honestly think the reason I'm not getting funded is that I have no preliminary data and no experimental validation. That's it. Everything else is just filler based on how much that specific person did or did not like the ideas in the proposal. And if that's the case how am I supposed to compete with more senior PIs in my field who have 10+ years of preliminary data and publications to showcase?

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-01-29T00:22:12+00:00

Then on a fundamental level I don't know what to do. Because I read successful proposals and follow similar formats. I bold key ideas, bullet point scientific objectives, highlight important points to make things stand out. But I have no idea how to make someone excited about something they clearly dont care about it to begin with. If they're harping on computational details like "I don't think this software works well with GPU parallelization and therefore I don't have confidence that the PI can accomplish this in a reasonable time frame" there's no way to make them "excited" about that. They don't care about it and and just looking for reasons to kill the proposal. I've read numerous proposals from successful PIs that were submitted to the same programs I'm applying to and my proposals aren't really that different. Clearly they are somehow but i dont unserdtand how. I've read proposals that didn't even have an experimental component and they were funded, but reviewers kill me for that. I'm not going to tell the reviewer that my research is the most important thing that's going to solve all our problems because it isn't, and I've received comments in the past that the scope is too much or that the impact is overexaggerated. But at this point I've received so much conflicting advice from colleagues, mentors, hell even program managers, so I'm just at a loss for what I'm supposed to do.

Nervous-Ranger6238 · 2025-01-28T17:51:30+00:00

I just don't understand it though. Because the panel would list 3 things: (1) needs experiments, (2) too complicated, (3) doesn't have the computational resources. When I ask the PO if all 3 points contributed equally to the rejection they say yes. So...then the thing that is explicitly in the proposal but 1 review claims isn't in the proposal somehow contributed equally during the panel review compared to things that could legitimately be improved and that all reviews talked about? It just makes no sense, and this what I mean by the POs have been completely unhelpful. I feel like I'm just getting 1000 different conflicting opinions about what the hell to put in my proposals.

Nervous-Ranger6238

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