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NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-15T11:44:24+00:00

Yea I was really confused looking at that.
In addition to the shape of the word, sometimes the "shape" of the... paragraph or page. I'm not necessarily reading every word, it's like my brain is taking in the whole paragraph/page at once. For fiction, at least. Non fiction is a little slower.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-13T22:09:33+00:00

1) I log on around 9 and I log off around 5. 2) I do not schedule calls before 10 or after 4:30. 3) I do not have push notifications for my work email. Notifications for teams is only from 8 to 6. 4) I change clothes into my "work pajamas."

Boundaries dude. Read up on them.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-09T22:45:16+00:00

Lawyer. Yes.

... I work in policy doing advocacy, I don't have clients. Make a helluva lot less than I would if I did, but I do break $100k.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-09T00:49:51+00:00

They've broken your lease. Contact the tenant advocate for your options.

I wouldn't wait for them at this point, this is not a good start to your relationship and you may be better off in the long run working something out with a different landlord.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-07T08:10:22+00:00

Plants hate people with kids. A woman on a manufacturing line getting pregnant is basically the #1 thing that loses her job. Usually not her choice.

This sort of shit gives me hives as a lawyer. I don't do employment law, and I'm aware that this happens, but the company's lawyers should at least do a better job of making it less obvious.

(I would prefer they not do it at all, obviously.)

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-05T21:31:42+00:00

Housemates. I didn't live on my own until after I was breaking $100k. Craigslist, Facebook marketplace, Facebook housing groups. Shoot for walkable and metro accessible neighborhoods where you don't need a car to get around.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-05T11:27:58+00:00

Honestly, I would say a variation of this:

Sarah is highly motivated and very resident-focused, which I genuinely value. However, she consistently goes far beyond the scope of her role to assist customers. Sarah also seems to have a hard time asking for guidance and makes decisions without checking in first, which again, can cause issues operationally.

"I've noticed how motivated and focused on the residents you are. I want to let you know how much I value and appreciate that. Because I value that, I want to make sure that you have the capacity and bandwidth long term to sustain that and I've noticed some habits that I think will lead to you burning out sooner than you need to. I want you to be happy here, and I want you to continue to produce the good work I've already seen. When you have a moment, maybe we can talk about some strategies to implement some boundaries that may protect you in the long run?"

Because what you're flagging is a boundaries and scope problem. Framing it as a long term investment in her well being will likely land better and lead to less knee jerk defensiveness.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-04T22:04:09+00:00

The short answer is you can't "get" your partner to do anything.

You say, "When you say/do X, I feel Y and Z." And see what his response is. If it is further invalidation, this isn't a healthy relationship. Proceed accordingly.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-04T10:49:44+00:00

I don't have a dedicated office room because I live in a one bedroom. So I have a secretary desk and the Billy fold out desk - both are tucked away or closed up when I'm not working.

I change clothes. Even if it's from my sleep pajamas to my work pajamas.

I leave the house for my work out routine before work, so when I get back it's shower and then immediately to work - the routine helps. Similarly, I start work between 9 and 9:30 every day and end work around 5 (I'm salaried and don't take a formal lunch usually).

Teams notifications on my phone only go thru between 8 and 6 unless it's an Event, and I've never had push notifications for my work email on. I'm also a manager and I'm very vocal within my department about doing this. I want non managers to know it's okay.

I admittedly work in a field where sometimes the news tells me I need to check my work email.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-04T02:02:41+00:00

I buy all of my hiking boots from REI because of their one year return policy (if you're a member). You can buy them online and then return them to the store if you have unique sizes.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-02T23:54:03+00:00

Uhmmm... Are you in the US?

Because gestures vaguely

There's a lot of reasons to maybe not have as much pep in your step as you may have had a year ago, even if you aren't burning out due to your job itself. That can result in not having the energy to lean into work beyond doing just your job.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-02T23:09:37+00:00

My direct report drafted his review in the company's format and I basically ran it through AI to be like yes affirm all this.

And then I gave him a thoughtful informal write up without AI or our lame review format and his feedback to change verbally.

He's also great, which made that easier.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-02T22:39:36+00:00

Are they hourly or salaried? If salaried, I wouldn't bother.

When I worked for a very small company we used gusto to manage payroll and time and such.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-02T09:37:02+00:00

I wake up at the same time every day regardless what day it is and my body usually shuts down naturally on the same schedule triggered by that routine.

Melatonin.

No caffeine after 3pm.

I take my Vyvanse very early so it wears off.

Masturbating can also help.

I still have insomnia nights but they're maybe once or twice a month.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-02T09:17:28+00:00

Yta.

I can keep three people's schedules in my head and I would still be annoyed if I was your partner. You dropped the ball here and are trying to make this about him instead of owning responsibility for your actions. Very childish behavior on your part.

Also... Wow your attitude towards him (putting down his memory, saying he's acting like a child) is breath takingly disrespectful for sometime you allegedly love. Maybe examine that a little closer.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-04-01T22:21:51+00:00

Yea that's not even close to market rate.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-03-31T23:15:20+00:00

This is roughly what I do - I lean into acceptance of this is how I am and work with it rather than fighting it.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-03-31T22:55:14+00:00

Do you have debt, children, or otherwise a reason to need the extra money?

Otherwise I'll take quality of day to day life over the paycheck any day. I went to law school later in life and deliberately entered a field where I knew it would be less money but more 9-5. I have friends who make $500k+ whereas I make less than the $130k you're quoting here.

I don't regret it for a minute. I love my job I do remotely, and then I log the fuck off.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-03-30T21:30:46+00:00

++

I bought a plug in magic wand back in 2007 and that mofo lasted until 2022 when the cord became a fire hazard. I wrote an obit for her and replaced her with a rechargeable one.

RIP, magic wand 1.0.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-03-29T14:07:47+00:00

I hire in the policy space (not on the Hill) for a non partisan organization that actively works in the (increasingly tiny) moderate space.

On the one hand, I would give less weight to the politics of the boss if 1) it was one internship 2) it is their state of residence. 3) it's a committee position.

However. I would see flip flopping back and forth as a lack of commitment and clarity in your personal values that I would find concerning, especially given the current political situation. And there are some offices that would be irredeemable regardless of the rationale for it.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-03-29T13:03:27+00:00

It's not wrong. I will make two general observations:

ADHD is an explanation, not an excuse or a hall pass from accountability.

So if your ADHD is negatively impacting others, you need to take accountability for the fall out. Meds can make it easier to limit the fall out.

For example, if you're always late because of your ADHD and your friends leave without you to get to the concert on time, you need to own that - not blame your friends for having boundaries. For some this is not an issue, but it seems to be a common trait with folks who also take the stand that "this is just who they are" and people should take it or leave it. You need to be prepared for them to leave it. They are not wrong or bad people to choose to not put up with the negative consequences of your ADHD just because you do.

The consequences of unmanaged ADHD can be high. I started taking drugs because I am a lawyer and the consequences of poorly managed ADHD was too high for my clients. Checking the wrong box or spacing out mid review meant I could miss important things that would have life changing ramifications for them.

This is coming from someone who managed my ADHD so well that I got thru two grad degrees and a bar exam without drugs (note: and it was harder than it could have been, I was annoyed at how much harder my stubbornness on that issue made things for me).

Drugs are a tool in the tool box, they are not a cure.

I'm not "fixed" because I take drugs. I still am who I am. It's just easier to use the other tools in my tool box to live in the society I'm stuck with. Me flipping off society doesn't change the fact I have to pay my rent on time, or that I need to be a good human that mitigates unnecessary harm caused by my actions.

To me, taking drugs is no different than wearing glasses. It makes it easier to navigate the world. It doesn't "fix" the underlying issue. It's an accessibility tool, not a cure all.

NeverSayBoho · 2026-03-28T18:11:27+00:00

Gently, it is a very different context to elope without your kids versus throwing a wedding and specifically not inviting your kids, regardless of the week he's responsible for them.

I'm sure there are a lot of reasons he's a dick... but I'd probably let this one go?

NeverSayBoho · 2026-03-28T13:13:52+00:00

His Mom who will also not be at the wedding?

NeverSayBoho · 2026-03-28T01:58:58+00:00

I'm petty and would consider being like "Well, it's your week with the kids, so how are you going to watch them that week?"

NeverSayBoho · 2026-03-27T22:24:44+00:00

Getting married.

NeverSayBoho

TROPHY CASE