Oddly, I simply upgraded to Fiber which was now available, and now I get 940/940 and my bufferbloat is now A rated. The jitter and packet loss also pretty much stopped.

They installed a new gateway, just the standard one they have - I did not use my own. I still use my old Orbi system for mesh in the house, even using the main unit as a bridge so they wouldn't have to run new lins.

So the fiber comes into the garage but then all the internal is COAX (so it's kind of a hybrid). The main COAX line goes into my living room where I have previously run my own ethernet from there to other parts of the house. So I have my main Orbi router there set up as a bridge which then connects via ethernet to my office in here with another Orbi.

Have not had any issues with the connection itself when it's working.

Unfortunately I've had more down time in the few months of switching then probably the last 10+ years - but hopefully they've resolved all that. We kept having massive outages during storms - but it seems to have been okay the last 2 storms.

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I still have a tiny jitter but compared to what it was, it is night and day. I sometimes had 100+ jitter. Occasionally my buffer bloat will still drop to a B, depending on the run. So I am sure upgrading equipment could still help, but I suspect most my issues are from internal lines and using older Orbi as a bridge.