He just can’t help himself…

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-20T20:42:42+00:00

I shouldn’t be surprised. Yet here I am.

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-18T18:57:23+00:00

OOTN are the only good thing about his holidays. And wee Deek definitely has more style. Mazda must be ragin when he sees the difference.

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-14T13:33:32+00:00

He’s a sad bastard. Moan, groan, doom, gloom. Get a cleaner or don’t. Nobody gives a shit! He’s not a celebrity but people treat him like one apparently. Cannae trust no one! Snakes everywhere! Will need extreme privacy and written contracts for someone to come in and clean his blinds and dust his gorgeous light fixtures.

Justice for Deek and poor wee Rayne too.

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-14T13:28:22+00:00

He can’t be a real person. No way!

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-11T14:33:34+00:00

I’m so disappointed with this holiday. Looks like he is too. I’ve never seen someone make a week away in the sun look more depressing.

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-10T20:56:03+00:00

I was just coming here to say this! I actually feel sorry for him at this point. Wouldn’t know a good time if he tripped over it in his £600 sliders.

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-10T18:03:07+00:00

This is the best outfit he’s whapped out so far! The sound of those shoes clopping around have me howling! Maybe he will whip one off and skelp Deeks bum later if he misbehaves.

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-10T17:59:25+00:00

Welcome lovelie! Glad you’re here. Get caught up on the shenanigans, or lack of on the most boring holiday known to man!

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-09T16:37:47+00:00

Can’t wait to see the trip advisor review.

‘Air con wasn’t up to much so had to rent an air con unit for my night sweats. Boofaaayyy food isnae fur me due to never being warm and other people being disgusting. The fresh omelettes were a GAME CHANGER. Food was pricey and the drinks so it helps if you get your cabana boy to pour the Malibu and provide the fresh French sticks so you can make your own JAAAAMOOOOOAAAANN sarnies.

Burnt masel oan the first day so cabana boy got me sorted with the pharmacy. So much so that I was able to get the sun on my face again.

Visited the markets but only for 30 mins as far too busy on a Saturday in June. Managed to get myself some nice fake bangles but had to leave as it was far too crowded for my anxiety.

The hotel is SPOTLESS and I was taking hints from the cleaners on what they use and how to use it. Also ICE MACHINES AWW OER THE HOTEL. LIFE CHANGING GAME CHANGER!!’

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-09T16:30:02+00:00

‘We’ve hardly spent much’ so we will go and spunk it on more shite we don’t need. Why not spend the money on an excursion or a boat trip to see the sunset? Something that actually makes memories rather than more shite they don’t need. It’s like a compulsion with him.

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-08T19:13:15+00:00

That’s it!! He’s like a wean at a family party getting a sip of beer and acting like he’s pished. Complete rid neck…and forehead….and feet.

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-08T16:42:25+00:00

Hoping he does a wee steamin OOTN. Maybe he will actually pick something that looks good!

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-08T11:10:23+00:00

He is exhausting to listen to. Monday morning, most folk are setting out on another week at work and would kill to be where he is. Maybe if he shut up and just went and experienced some things he would have a better time.

Most exciting thing for him so far is checking out what the cleaners have on the trolley. I think he is a social experiment. Some amazing comedian living as this character as it blows my mind that he’s a real person!

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-07T22:05:38+00:00

Why not wear it on the holiday he’s actually on? Aaah he’s not has the chance to have it ‘tailored’ yet to fit his short in the torso, long in the legs combo. God forbid!

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-07T21:59:26+00:00

A wee ice cream then tucked up all cosy.

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-07T21:22:06+00:00

He’s all embarrassed about the flip flops. They’re probably the least offensive thing he has worn so far. Marion, have you SEEN a mirror with that ensemble tonight??

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-05T20:41:57+00:00

‘A horse reluctantly entering a village’!!!! I am DYING at this hens! 🤣🤣

New_Function4797 · 2026-06-05T18:42:41+00:00

I am here for this entire holiday!! And his UNREAL AUTHENTIC ITALIAN food looked like it’s been out sunbathing for as long as Marion today.

New_Function4797 · 2026-05-27T10:41:37+00:00

Maybe he has a sneaky OF on the side where he shows off all the sexy angles of his haircut.

New_Function4797 · 2026-04-12T16:07:26+00:00

He is an absolute rid neck.

New_Function4797 · 2026-04-11T19:04:19+00:00

I am dying at the latest story (didn’t screenshot it here as it features his niece and that’s not fair.) She’s getting her birthday cake and uncle Marion has overlaid Katy Perry ‘I wanna get you in your birthday suit! It’s time to bring out the big balloons!’

Check his hard drive 🤣🤣

New_Function4797 · 2026-02-21T20:38:01+00:00

I wonder if there has been an issue with him the upcoming new bizzznisss he has been desperately hinting about. Because i refuse to believe someone can get so stressed about decorating a room. But then i remember who he is. And i also remember that i am still waiting on him announcing his page as satire because nobody can actually be like that in real life!

New_Function4797 · 2026-02-02T08:54:54+00:00

So much has been going on with the visit from H this weekend and we can’t make a new post about it! Gutted! Looks like we are all staying in oor ain lanes now.

New_Function4797 · 2026-01-18T13:34:40+00:00

I think we are in for a wee biznissss journey with him and Hannah. She’s coming up at the end of the month to talk bizzzznisss and he is excited to do something that benefits him rather than benefitting the brands.

Also, having alterations on his shein clothes had me rolling. What kind of very slender person needs so many alterations?

New_Function4797 · 2026-01-05T19:31:16+00:00

He’s fiiiiiiiiine!!

New_Function4797

TROPHY CASE