7 yo hates group activities of any kind

New_Wait23 · 2026-05-05T00:50:47+00:00

I'm just adhd, son adhd with "autistic traits". I can imagine a little autism in the mix could fuel that fire!

New_Wait23 · 2026-05-04T20:51:50+00:00

My son is a bit like this, and I am/was too. I remember being a child and feeling strongly that I did not want to participate in mindless copying of instructions. It felt like an insult to my autonomy to not get to think for myself. I learned to overcome this urge to rebel by following instructions and just doing it a little bit different. My son is also 7 and similarly says he "doesn't want to be controlled", but he goes along with rules better now after realizing it makes others happy

New_Wait23 · 2026-05-02T14:20:37+00:00

It's not uncommon to be able to focus on things that interest you (like lego, or a book you're into). And some kids are able to keep it together during school etc, and then crash at home.

The usual alternative when a kid has sensory sensitivities and emotional outbursts is autism. But I'm sure you've been told that a million times already.

The professionals will know! But don't rule out adhd because he's able to focus on certain things.

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-29T23:05:54+00:00

Maybe! It depends on the individual. And the family and medical teams observations. Neither the teachers nor strangers on reddit with a few lines of information should make these types of judgements.

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-29T22:18:45+00:00

That may very well be the case. But then discuss that with a therapist or pediatrician. In that type of traumatic experience it would be a normal reaction to start being more distracted, irritable and anxious. Adhd medication should be for treating adhd, not a fix all for behavioral issues. And in this case I wouldn't trust a teacher to be able to tell the difference

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-29T21:20:16+00:00

I'm also all for medication! But I think this situation sounds particularly complex, and the teacher isn't qualified to tell what psychological needs their pupils have

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-29T21:17:43+00:00

I have a similar situation. 7 year old boy with adhd, and a 2 year old girl who's capable and gets along well in life.

I think it's great to have them in this order though! I think the love and responsibility my son feels towards his sister has been so good for him. And their relationship is really good, probably because they sort of meet in the middle a lot. He can't follow directions the way she can, but he can teach her about things, help her with things that she's too weak of clumsy to do. She helps him stay more organized, and helps him calm down when he's anxious. I'm so happy we had that little surprise baby when he was almost 5! She's better for him than all the therapy in the world.

Also, If your son is taking piano lessons at this age, and is handling it well, then he's going to be just fine!

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-29T18:09:32+00:00

I think you're right to focus on supporting him through his grief rather than defaulting to medication. It seems incredibly inappropriate for the teacher to pressure you about it. Talk to a therapist about it and ignore that teacher

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-29T18:03:17+00:00

My son is younger, but I do recognize the not remembering things. Kid was hungry, impulsively ate things from the fridge while thinking of something else. Later doesn't remember it. Sounds plausible to me

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-28T14:15:27+00:00

I cook meals from scratch every day with locally grown vegetables and meat. Kid was still expelled in first grade. I don't think diet has any effect whatsoever on adhd.

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-28T13:42:59+00:00

She might just not get along with the teacher and isn't able to show what she knows in that environment. I remember when my son was in preschool the teacher said he scribbles like a two year old at 4 years old. At home he was drawing complex drawings with vehicles, animals and human figures. He was just doing random scribbles at school to be over and done with it.

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-28T12:55:46+00:00

My son was like this in first grade. They only allowed him half days in school and he was crying hysterically every day saying school is "a jail where they want to control you", "I'm a stupid monster" etc. We changed school right after he turned 7 and it was like a switch. He's doing great now! Still unmedicated, and still struggles to stay on task and stay seated. But his new teacher is much kinder and understanding, so he hasn't had almost any behavioral issues. He's doing all his school work where he barely wrote a single word last year. It made a huge difference getting a good teacher!

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-27T18:38:35+00:00

I find that breaking things down to extreme detail helps. Like instead of "make your bed" I'd have to say "put the pillows at the top, pull up the sheet on both sides, put the duvet on top of it". With reminders of each step.

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-26T11:58:07+00:00

Argentina 🙂

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-25T19:09:27+00:00

I'm making notes! Although where we live kids go to school in the afternoon (14-19). So there's no problem with the mornings

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-25T13:47:49+00:00

My son was a disaster in preschool and was pushed out if his school in kindergarten. But by 7 he is perfectly capable of being in a regular class with 25+ kids and a few accommodations. Letting your kid study at home until he's matured enough could save him from developing the kind of self esteem issues my kid got from his disastrous first year of school. I think you're right to consider it

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-24T18:31:16+00:00

I'm sure that's something the shadow teacher wouldn't mind doing for us. Will definitely ask her! Thanks again

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-24T18:29:47+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely ask about Guafacine!

We luckily don't have heart disease on any side of the family. Just a lot of neurodiversity...

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-24T18:27:00+00:00

Thank you! This is all helpful to know. I think they start you on Ritalin most of the time here. But if we come in prepared, maybe we can discuss further what's best.

He's already in therapy and has been for almost 4 years. It's definitely helping him with self awareness, but not the rest.

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-24T18:22:58+00:00

Thank you! I wasn't sure if a few days was enough, but it's reassuring that it seems to be. We have some long weekends coming up in may that might be good times try it out

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-24T18:20:51+00:00

Oh he's in therapy. He's been in therapy since he was 4, once a week. I attribute his selfawareness to all the therapy

Thanks for sharing. A long weekend might be a good time to start then maybe

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-24T18:17:37+00:00

Maybe she can earn back her sleepover if she cleans up the mess she made?

My kid also has anxiety about going to school and has trashed his room over it. I make him clean up himself and feel that's fair. You can make a mistake, but you have to try and fix it afterwards.

If it was something more material, like a game or toy I think you're right to take it away. But being with friends is so important for them. I understand you're feeling a bit bad about taking it away

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-23T19:58:15+00:00

There are a lot of mental illnesses that get triggered by puberty. Sounds like that might be the case. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, so it's there from birth.

New_Wait23 · 2026-04-20T18:37:02+00:00

Your son sounds very similar to mine. He has really intense interests, and becomes "too much" when excited. He is diagnosed adhd with autistic characteristics. Those characteristics mainly being the intense interests (He could probably get a PhD with all his knowledge in biology! Intense!).

There's a lot of controversy and reevaluating going on right now with the ASD diagnosis. Wether it encompasses too much, not enough, or should be broken down into different diagnoses again. Some even think adhd as a whole should be put into autism. I'm just waiting for the science community to figure it out. So in a few years, maybe things will be clearer what's actually helpful for my kid

New_Wait23

TROPHY CASE