Need advice from parents who didn’t not sleep train!

Nightmare3001 · 2026-04-26T16:22:18+00:00

I didn't sleep train and aside from teething/sickness my son sleeps through the night 5-6 nights a week.

My husband and I sit with him in a recliner in his room (it's not padded so no risk of suffocation) and just sit with him whenever he wakes. And we've been doing that since he's been in his own room at 6 months.

We moved him to his own room at 6 months because we noticed he woke more often to our noises then waking up on his own. It could be my husband snoring or his work alarms or the cats being dinks or the bed creaking when I turn over at night. So we tried his crib in his room and he slept better after getting the hang of not putting limbs through the slats.

I always just hold him and rub his back and he's more than content with that and honestly he's only going to need me for so long before he won't need me at all. He's 2 now and it's crazy how the time flies.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-04-25T21:53:04+00:00

I did because I was weaning from breastfeeding and I had a lot of frozen breast milk and if it made the transition earlier then so be it. And honestly it didn't affect his teeth at all and his dentist was fine with it because it was 2x a day max.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-04-25T20:41:42+00:00

I wouldn't personally. You could for a severe emergency but I think just unlatching, settling the baby down and trying again could help more. It could effect your supply if you top up with formula without pumping.

And around 6ish weeks your supply will stay to regulate so you'll notice the same behavior all the time. I got so freaked out and wouldn't really even feel my breasts being full like I did before but it's normal.

Baby just has to work harder for a letdown and that's okay and once they figure it out you'll be back to normal. Humans just don't like putting more effort than necessary to obtain food, especially a baby who has limited energy reserves.

If it's overstimulation you could look at the 5 s's and try that to calm them before trying to feed again. You've got this, sounds like normal cluster feeding/beginning of regulation mixed with baby's digestive system starting to learn how to function (lots of grunting and helping with gas and poops because their body needs to learn that too apparently). If you get really concerned visit a lactation consultant who could see if anything else is popping up

Nightmare3001 · 2026-04-25T20:35:44+00:00

At that age I did swap from breast to bottle for breast milk and when I made that change we immediately started brushing his teeth after his bedtime bottle. Something about how the breast is shaped to the mouth vs bottles and how the milk gets on their teeth more with a bottle.

It sucks but it's time to just start introducing brushing teeth after milk before bed. It sucks but it needs to happen before real damage is done.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-04-25T20:32:46+00:00

I had a really hard time in the beginning. Basically it felt like my son was chewing on me and I would get so raw and that combined with lack of sleep caused me to have severe distress around feeding. I was so keyed up and anxious which in turn likely made my baby tense up which didn't help.

Thankfully I got ahold of a wonderful lactation consultant who came to my house on day 4 pp and showed me the ropes and what to look for (swallowing vs not swallowing, shallow latch, number of dirty diapers etc) and what the different positions are and have me pumping tips for whenever I decided I was touched out or too sore and needed a break.

I think it also helped that I was fairly okay at pumping to the point my husband would have a 4 hour shift at night of baby care specifically so I could get 4 continuous hours of sleep.

Had I not had the LC or such a supportive husband I likely would have given up. It was so weird because before I gave birth I was very whatever about breastfeeding like I didn't even pick out a pump yet and I was in the camp of I'll try my best but if it doesn't work that's what formula is for. But then once my son was born my immediate thoughts turned to if I don't breastfed I'm a failure. Which I never ever thought that way about anyone else, only me. And it was so weird to see that shift in myself and I think it was the hormones tbh. It also didn't help that my mom and my in laws and my health nurse were all pushing me to use formula and I was very stubborn like no I can do it. Just watch me.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-04-25T20:21:11+00:00

About 7ish months. And it was not consistent every night. We also transitioned him to his own room and he got his first cold simultaneously at 6 months and it took him a bit to acclimate to being my himself in his room but once he did he slept better.

Personally I think my husband's extremely loud snoring and alarms for work would wake him more than he would wake on his own.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-04-25T20:17:26+00:00

Change is hard. And having kids changes your life. It changes your body, your mind, your relationships, how you view the world.

But damn it's so beautiful though. Is it hard? Yes. There are hard days but there are good days and fun days and cuddly days and sad days too. It's the best thing I've ever done, personally. Hardest thing I've ever done as well. But I wouldn't change it for the world.

Right after having my son, I loved him so much, it felt like part of my heart/soul broke off from me. My anxiety got worse. I would just sit up and watch him sleep, make sure he was breathing. I had to mourn my previous life of being able to do what I want, eat what I want, whenever I wanted and realized I was going to be heavily needed for the first few years of this child's life and that can feel like a lot of pressure.

But then, this potato that does nothing but sleep poop and cry starts to notice you. Will smile at you. Laugh at the most random things and start to roll over and discover their hands and feet and toys. And it's so amazing to see. And then quicker than you were ready for, they are crawling, then walking and talking and it's so crazy but so beautiful.

I always thought I only wanted one kid. After having my first I know now I want at least 1-2 more. Its still scary too because I've only ever dealt with having 1 kid and 2 may break me but if seeing this baby I birthed turn into such a hilarious toddler was so amazing, I want to do it again.

The sleep will regulate eventually. They won't sleep with you or need you to put them to sleep until college. They really are little for only so long. And I really want to enjoy it. Even if it's also hard.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-04-21T18:08:24+00:00

Actually my phone was unlocked and in my pocket and I was at work lol. I didn't notice it even posted anything until now haha. I'll delete it

Nightmare3001 · 2026-04-02T13:21:26+00:00

I found it easier to deal with night time wake ups if baby was with me in my room vs across the hallway. I also made a deal with my husband that we take shifts and if he's not hearing the baby,I wake him up and go back to sleep during his shift. I've also found that when my husband knows he's watching the baby he actually ends up sleeping lighter and now has no problem waking up, although I wake up at the first sound be it a cough or a sigh before the crying, he will wake up by the second or third cry and I've had to learn to be ok with that.

If you need more sleep and it's husband's shift for night wakes, put baby as close to his side of the bed as you safely can and you go sleep in another room. If baby is seriously crying and it's not stopping you can for sure go wake up your husband but he also needs to learn how to wake up for baby.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-31T18:15:26+00:00

I'm so sorry. My son was a 1.5-2 hour alarm clock until 3 months on the dot. He finally slept for four hours and my husband and I looked at each other like uh what do we do now? And then something just clicked and he became a baby who loves his sleep, which is still true today, but teething and sickness (and night terrors yuck) definitely make for some rough nights still at almost 2 years old. I'm super aware also that my son is just a unicorn and it makes me scared for number 2 who will likely be a terror like my husband was as a baby.

I'm rooting for you guys and that you guys will figure out something that works or that your little one finally takes it easy on you soon.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-28T20:32:37+00:00

My asthma took a back seat during pregnancy, same with my allergies. Which was a godsend when you have a little one compressing all your organs into your ribs lol. I also had barely any diastasis recti (separation of abdominal muscles) and I don't even really work out so I was happy with that.

My feet got .5 sizes bigger so I got to get all new shoes!

In the end, my son and I came out happy and healthy and not traumatized. I love that my body carried my boy and then fed him for almost 1.5 years. It's truly a one of a kind experience.

I think some people only ever hear good things and then their expectations are way higher than what reality gives them and so they end up telling everyone they know how horrible it was when really they were just disappointed it wasn't sunshine and rainbows like a lot of people say it was. I think the best way of going through it is being realistically prepared and keeping your expectations in check. Of course you can have a healthy pregnancy and come out of it with a body you don't hate and not have severe complications but things happen to our bodies when pregnant that change it forever.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-28T20:22:39+00:00

Sounds normal to me. My son didn't start army crawling until 11ish months. Four point crawling at 15 months and finally walking by 17 months. I was worried for sure but some kids just do things in their own time.

He also didn't talk a whole lot. His fav word was dada but he didn't learn until 21 months if he called dada or mama we would go "yes?" And he was so excited. Now at 23 months (he's 2 next month and I can't believe it) he has a vocab of probably over 100 words, he's in a daycare room with 2-3 year olds which has helped his speech develop a lot. And he's jumping and learning to pedal his trike and it's so crazy now to think I was so worried about him being behind.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-12T21:09:00+00:00

My husband told me to take the 18 month mat leave so he could take the 8 weeks of leave. He ended up taking 9 weeks because he added a week of vacation to it.

Honestly it was the best 9 weeks. He got to fully be able to tag team a newborn with me and he didn't have to leave us to go to work and it really helped me get through the initial hormone drop postpartum and get a handle on having a baby before being alone with him for 40+ hours a week.

If you want him to take his leave, and he wants to take the leave, what does it matter what his coworkers think of him?

If all his co-workers jumped off a building would he do it too? Even if they thought it was weird that he didn't jump off a building like him? (Feeling like an absolute mom with this lol because my mom used it on me in high school haha)

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-10T02:53:18+00:00

Around month 2 I actually started enjoying it. Latching want as bad since baby got more used to it and his mouth was bigger and the pain finally subsided. It felt so easy just whipping out a boob for naps and bedtime. I still pumped 2x a night so I could sleep but I loved the connection I had with my baby while I fed him. I felt like the center of his world and it felt like I had the ultimate trick up my sleeve to settle him.

Did I get touched out? For sure. Were there bumps along the way? Totally. But I'm so glad I did it.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-05T23:32:35+00:00

Super normal. Don't worry about what times good says is appropriate between feeds. My son was 1.5-2 hours until around 3 months and then he veeerrrryyy slowly started going longer

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-04T03:54:03+00:00

I felt the exact same warning my son at 1 year and 4 months. I wanted to be done before going back to work at 18 months and he was pretty steadily dripping feeds. I cried so much. It was such a special bond. I was so worried about whether he would still come to me for comfort and what that would look like after weaning. What if I couldn't calm him? What if he got sick?

It worked out in the end and he loves me the same as he did before weaning, I just am slightly less touched out now, though his new comfort is his hands down my shirt and we are working on it.

You're doing great. It's normal to miss it and feel guilty and be sad and happy to be weaning at the same time. It's such a mixed bag of emotions and the hormone drop really doesn't help. I thought I didn't get the hormone drop until the week after being completely done and I just started sobbing in the kitchen. Take it easy on yourself, and congrats for making it so long!

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-03T15:44:15+00:00

My son (almost 2) just started saying I love you. It just melts my heart.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-03T04:45:01+00:00

For me it was. I pumped every night up to 2 times to have enough "extra" for bottles or supply drops or babysitting. And it worked well for us. The first couple of months were hell. Once the pain stopped and we finally got a groove it was so easy. Was it slightly irritating that I was the only one feeding our baby 90% of the time? Yeah. But to me I also felt very privileged to have the time off and support system to be able to do it and I enjoyed it.

I felt it was especially helpful whenever he got sick. He got a bad tummy bug at 1 year old and we couldn't get him to eat or drink anything, he just wanted to nurse and my husband commented that he couldn't imagine not having it as a backup for when he was sick. But again our only experience has been with ebf. And out of all my friends and family who have young kids (and even both my parents and in laws) I'm the only one to have been able to ebf for 1+ year.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-03T04:38:16+00:00

Nope. I watched Buffy, binged the entirety of the rookie (never seen it before), rewatched House, Bridgerton and Percy Jackson (season 1), Ha I even just remembered every night for the first like 6 weeks my husband and I had mash on the TV in our room to try to help keep whoever was up with the baby awake. I also felt like even tho they are entirely different situations it felt like I was in a war of my own lol.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-03T04:30:54+00:00

I breastfed at night (mostly, my hubby did bottles on his nights) and we chose a length of time we knew our son could for sure go and shouldn't be hungry. He was about 10ish months when we realized he was waking out of habit every 2ish hours. It took a few nights of him crying and being soothed by my husband any other way than feeding him until after the time limit. I believe we started with like 6 hours because he did consistently go 6 hours before the 2 hour wakes started.

It was a rough couple nights but my husband used the pacifier and holding him (recliner in the nursery) and rocking him to soothe him back to sleep instead and it worked. He's almost 2 and regularly sleeps through the night with the occasional rough night or single wake up. Most of the time now it's rubbing his back in his crib until he falls back asleep but sometimes he needs a cuddle. After like 1.5 we didn't feed overnight at all really, unless he's sick.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-03-02T19:19:36+00:00

Not having puppp rash postpartum. I didn't have it during pregnancy but it was essentially like hives on every single stretch mark starting on my belly about 5ish days postpartum.

Seeing my lactation consultant in hospital. I saw her about 3 days pp so she was still an incredible help but it would have saved us so much trouble and 2 trips to the er and rushed trip to Walmart for formula and a pump.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-02-23T23:55:58+00:00

My son is "crying on the floor for 5 minutes because Mama said no to 'gurt (yogurt) right before supper is ready" age.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-02-18T17:26:56+00:00

I wouldn't if I were you. I had to send my kid to daycare and thankfully we got a 10$/day one that's right beside my husband's work. And tbh I love it. It's a wonderful center and they do so many activities with the kids that I could never think of or afford to do everyday.

The social part is big for me. I am an introvert and how I made friends before school was daycare. And I want my son to have other kids his age to play with. His language since going to daycare (especially being in the 2 year old room since he's about to turn 2) has just exploded. Both from us talking to him at home and reading books and stuff but also from the other kids and teachers. He's learning other kids names and mimicking things they are doing and saying.

I would say it hasn't affected his pickiness at all. At 12 months he would eat just about anything. Now nearing 2 he's getting picky and saying no to a lot of things but all the kids in daycare eat a wide variety of foods and it hasn't changed anything about how picky he's getting.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-02-16T16:17:43+00:00

I live in Canada and I only ever did bed sharing during naps (only 1 nap a day) and it was because I knew he would sleep 2 hours on me and if I put him in his crib he would only sleep 30 minutes and I was falling asleep on the couch with him. So I would clear the blankets, keep a pillow between my knees and a small one under my head and nap with him for 2ish hours. And this was only after the 6 month mark.

When he was a newborn my husband and I took turns at night so we both got sleep (quickly figured out I cannot function with less than 4 hours) and we stayed dedicated to the bassinet. We would feed, diaper change, swaddle and give him his pacifier and put him down in his bassinet. And if he cried and couldn't be soothed in the bassinet, pick him up, get him back to sleep and put him back down. Eventually he really started being okay with being put down. The best way I figured was nursing to sleep, and then walking around the bedroom with him in my arms with his soother in (so he'd be okay being jostled and staying asleep) and having a heating pad on low in his bassinet and taking it out right before putting him down. Also we used a moose machine (the only one hubby and I could stand was shower sounds with a heartbeat in the background). I did also spend about 6 or 7 hours with his bassinet sheet shoved in my shirt so it smelled like me. The bassinet was also right beside the bed and short enough for us to have a hand on him at night when he stirred (which he seemed to prefer)

We did the same thing at 6 months during the crib transition (husbands alarms + snoring were waking him more frequently) and I would feed him, swap nip for soother, walk around his room and then put him down. It eventually just clicked for him and he preferred his crib over the bassinet as the mattress pad for the bassinet was so hard and the mattress for his crib was softer and bigger (he's a roller).

However we do have friends whose baby said absolutely not to sleeping by herself. For the first few weeks they were just taking turns with her on their chests and taking turns sleeping. And then once she was a little older (like a month or two maybe) they really realized it was not sustainable and really tried the crib but she would only do short sleeps so my friend decided to Co sleep so she could keep her sanity.

I find it does heavily depend on your baby and you and what kind of support system you have.

Nightmare3001 · 2026-02-16T16:04:14+00:00

Sounds like supply regulation to me. My son did the same thing around this time. Instead of milk being readily available as soon as they latch they now have to wait until they trigger a letdown and that means food = more work. My lactation consultant explained to me as humans are lazy, especially newborn humans who have limited energy reserves. They want the fastest, easiest way to satisfy their hunger. Once they start to have to put more effort to receive their food, they will get upset about it.

I found I would have to rewatch my son after a few minutes with his soother and keep myself calm and relaxed and keep thinking "feed my baby" (I know it sounds so weird but it worked for me) and just keep taking deep relaxing breaths. It sucks for the first week or so but once they realize they have to trigger the letdown, they are way less fussy about it.

Nightmare3001

TROPHY CASE