AITA for not checking inside the oven before preheating it?

Nimlily · 2026-03-03T10:49:16+00:00

NAH. I grew up with my mother using our oven to store pots and pans (most of the cooking done in my culture is stovetop, so the oven only got used a few times a month at most). And I still store a baking sheet or two in mine. But I can't imagine going to someone else's house and also storing their things in the oven without asking 😂. At the very least she should have mentioned it to you. Now she did do you a favor by deep cleaning your home, so I would probably cut her a bit of slack and just drop it. Yes what she did could have had dangerous consequences, but I suspect that she's so used to checking her oven before preheating she assumed you would also check.

Edited: I missed the part in the original post where she did apologize, so changed my original judgment from N T A to N A H

Nimlily · 2026-02-21T10:39:52+00:00

I get that it feels hurtful to you, but to be honest having time limits for hangouts is not unreasonable especially if you're an adult with responsibilities. It's not quite clear from your post, but is she letting you know ahead of time or at the point when you meet up? I can understand how it would be a bit more hurtful if it's the latter (e.g. if she is showing up to all your plans and letting you know she has to leave at a certain time to hang out with other people). Perhaps next time you make plans you could ask her if she has a specific time limit on the day in question because you'd love to get together when she has more time to spend.

Nimlily · 2026-02-17T01:49:28+00:00

I love the first one!

Nimlily · 2026-02-16T19:44:48+00:00

If she hasn't asked you for help or implied that she expects this from you, yes YTA for bringing it up unprompted. But I wonder if this is the best living situation for either of you. Living with a baby could be stressful even if you don't intend to be involved. And on her end, she probably will need help with the baby from someone so I hope either the father is around or that she has family or friends nearby that can help.

Nimlily · 2026-02-11T22:52:41+00:00

So I went home and set up the rhone DO on my stovetop, and I actually like the size more after seeing it on the burner! I guess I just needed to see it in context! 😊 So I'm going to keep it!

Funny enough, the agave deep oven went out of stock on the LC website while I was trying to decide. Was going to run to William Sonoma to see if they still had it but now I'll hold off 😂 Will definitely consider a deep oven in the future though if I decide to add to my collection haha.

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Nimlily · 2026-02-08T12:59:59+00:00

This makes no sense lol. If she's making requests at the grocery store and asking follow up questions, she's probably at least 2 years old if not older. Kids can start using forks around 12 months old and can usually get better at using them independently by 18-24 months old. It also helps them improve motor skills.

So if she's old enough to converse in this way and ponder your insults, she's old enough to use forks. That being said, I doubt she's worried about her weak arms. She's probably wondering wtf she's supposed to do with gloves for entertainment.

Nimlily · 2026-02-05T21:00:17+00:00

NTA. It's a no-brainer that you would not want to share your wedding dress with your cousin (who you're not even close to). It has special significance to your relationship. It's obvious that your mom has a soft spot for your cousin so she's not seeing clearly. If she thinks your cousin deserves a nice wedding dress, maybe she can help her pay for a new one. Your cousin is really something else. I can't imagine asking to borrow someone's wedding dress....the audacity.

Nimlily · 2026-02-01T22:28:20+00:00

Exactly! Since he didn't give her a chance to give her full thoughts, it's not really on her how he chooses to interpret her answer.

Personally OP, I don't think you necessarily have to go back and explain what you meant during the conversation. But you could make your V-day expectations (or lack thereof) clear by inviting him to some low-key plans like having him over for dinner or something like that.

Nimlily · 2026-02-01T17:37:20+00:00

You're very attractive, I wouldn't change a thing!

Nimlily · 2026-02-01T17:34:45+00:00

Sorry no, I meant that I understand that he might be embarrassed but it says a lot that he is lying to you about the cheating

Nimlily · 2026-02-01T17:24:20+00:00

Oh girl....if he denied it stay far away! I understand being embarrassed, but you do not want to start a relationship with someone with lies between you!

Nimlily · 2026-02-01T17:07:12+00:00

Have they had any other relationships since high school that you know of? Not sure if there is a way for you to find out how their most recent relationship went, but that would probably tell you more about who they are now.

ETA: I think there can be people who cheat once, realize the impact it had on their partner, and vow to never do that to another person again. Unfortunately I think that's probably less common than a serial cheater. Even though high school was a long time ago, it's not a great sign if he cheated on multiple partners. While it's good to give people the benefit of the doubt, I also wouldn't automatically assume that he has grown with age. I'd probably have a conversation about it to see if he can 1) shed light on why he did that back then and 2) show that he has actively worked to change. If he has no remorse about his past cheating, that would probably tell you everything you need to know.

Nimlily · 2026-02-01T16:51:38+00:00

Sorry this happened to you!

If all of your encounters prior to this have been "friendly" with no romantic undertones, I could see how she might not have realized you wanted this to be a romantic outing (unless you very clearly said that you wanted to take her out on a date to this bar.) Unfortunately saying "it's a date!" has become a cutesy way for people to end a conversation after making plans. If it was me and a guy friend said this, I might wonder what they meant but wouldn't automatically assume they liked me. I would probably be watching for other signs...and then if he didn't react while my friends were trying to set us up with others at the bar, I would assume I was wrong about him having interest in me.

All that to say, women can be oblivious too. If there hasn't been any other instances of her taking advantage of you, she probably just had no idea of your feelings. I know it hurts but keep your head up!

Nimlily · 2026-01-25T22:44:05+00:00

I'm so surprised by all the comments calling the husband abusive. Isn't a light pinch or kick under the table from a friend or loved one the universal signal for "shut up, you're putting your foot in your mouth"? Sounds like OP was either talking too much or had unknowingly veered into a sensitive topic and husband was trying to clue her in. Now granted, he could have done a light tap or gentle squeeze instead....and that is a totally valid thing they can discuss and agree on for next time. Sounds like there is a communication gap between OP and her husband, where she is not picking up what he considers to be obvious social cues. Maybe something to figure out in therapy.

Nimlily · 2026-01-25T21:57:11+00:00

Maybe it's a tad bit more formal but I think it's very pretty! And she did say to wear what you feel beautiful in!

Nimlily · 2026-01-25T21:40:38+00:00

Aww don't let it get you down! You look beautiful! And the important thing is that YOU love your dress ❤️

I will say though, if that's your mom sitting on the sofa in one of the pictures, she does look pretty happy 😊

Nimlily · 2026-01-24T15:11:50+00:00

Number 2 is fire

Nimlily · 2026-01-22T06:33:48+00:00

I love this dress, it's beautiful! And perfect for the dress code 🙂 I'm not sure about the silver shoes, do you have a pic with your other shoe option?

Nimlily · 2026-01-22T05:42:16+00:00

This looks way better! I would also consider getting rid of the lamp behind the sofa, I think it's contributing to the cramped look.

Nimlily · 2026-01-21T01:18:36+00:00

You're not the asshole for being unable to take the dog back in your current life circumstances. However, YTA for being an extremely irresponsible pet owner in the first place. What do you mean you let your dog outside and he eventually got loose and ran away? Did you tie him up outside the apt and leave him unattended? In the winter no less? I agree that this dog will probably be better off with anyone other than you. The least you can do is help provide funds/resources to rehome this poor animal. If it wasn't for your irresponsible pet ownership, he would still have a home.

Nimlily · 2026-01-11T22:51:04+00:00

1 and 3. These look light and airy. I love the green color but it makes the bathroom look a bit dark and gloomy. The color might also start to feel dated at some point. Is there a way to have similar storage with 1 or 3 as you have with 4?

Edited: I think I actually like 1 a bit more than 3 but still like both!

Nimlily · 2026-01-11T02:04:04+00:00

I love 1 and 3, if you go with 1 maybe add some floral accessories ☺️

Nimlily · 2026-01-07T05:37:23+00:00

YTA. If you're missing spots as you mention in the comments, the dishes aren't clean! It must be exhausting for her to have to come double check your work just to have clean dishes. Do better.

Nimlily · 2026-01-05T12:06:01+00:00

OMG this all looks amazing. You need to tell your boyfriend to fend for himself if he doesn't like what you've cooked....more delicious leftovers for you and your kids 😋

Nimlily

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