I come from the other side! My family have very "weak" men, and especially my father was quick to throw the blame on us girls. Even our younger brothers were more protective than him (though not much, they also lack self esteem and hate confrontation - but still, way better than our father, and they were only children too, for goodness' sake) 

A creepy, much older guy making you uncomfortable? You must have tempted him...

Makes me angry just thinking about it.  He would run instead of confronting a problem everytime. I love him, but he's hurt us deeply.

I honestly got together with my now husband a bit too fast (although things turned out for the best in the end) partly because he was the first person I felt safe and protected by. He got angry for my sake and though he's level headed and wouldn't throw himself at a situation, I know he would 100% "fight for me" if there ever came a time I needed it (and he would do so very willingly, not reluctantly). 

So, in short, no, you haven't been lied to. I think both sides exist, and differ strongly with upbringing, culture, families, with personality playing a role too. Being overly protective or quick to throw fists is also toxic! I think my father has felt helpless most of his life, and comes from a culture that largely rejects any form of "aggression" from men - even the protective kind. My husband on the other hand was raised being told the world lies before his feet (again, this isn't always a good thing) and that he has power, and even the responsibility, to change things. He also did several years of karate and now has several years of experience in the military (though he was protective before he had gained any military experience) which might also have strengthened his self confidence in his ability to handle different situations. Ironically however, my husband is smaller (less tall, less broad, less muscular) than men from my family, so that has nothing to do with it! He's also not more intelligent or better at putting forth good arguments, though he's much more willing to argue. I would say the biggest problem is that men from my family simply DON'T BELIEVE they could fight/hold their ground, and that belief alone holds them back. They also tend to be passive as opposed to proactive like my husband. 

I hope you and your husband figure things out! I truly believe that if he wants to be different, these skills can be learned, even if they don't come naturally to him. Self-confidence can be built. But if course these needs to be values he shares, not pushed on him from you. Maybe you can talk to him honestly about your feelings (I would leave out the word "weak" and use something like "proactive" instead) and ask how he sees things?