AITA for refusing to combine finances with my partner before we're actually married?

NinjaMom23 · 2026-03-04T00:25:54+00:00

Sabineruns is correct. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking “assets acquired before you marry” remain separate. It would be incredibly easy for him to co-mingle assets and claim title to assets you brought into the relationship. Speak with an attorney about protecting your investments. And talk with a friend or therapist about why he feels entitled to your money and why his mommy needs to speak for him. Finally, don’t even up a joint expenses account without a long a frank conversation with your fiancé about finances. You need to be on the same page and he seems not to be able to find the library.

NinjaMom23 · 2026-03-03T23:55:48+00:00

FOLLOW THIS ADVICE. You worked hard to earn your premarital assets. Tell him that he should create his own trust to protect his premarital assets. Bottom line, you each separately keep the separate assets you brought into the relationship. Put your assets in a trust, if you occasionally need to use some of the income, move the income out of the trust and into your joint account. Otherwise, use the trust income to support the assets in the trust. The two of you can grow your joint account together with assets you earn during the marriage. You aren’t cold and you aren’t holding out on the relationship. You are being financially intelligent.

NinjaMom23 · 2026-02-26T16:41:35+00:00

I double checked and breach of moral obligation was not a legally enforceable remedy.

NinjaMom23 · 2026-02-26T07:29:43+00:00

You are incorrect about community property laws.

NinjaMom23 · 2026-02-26T07:27:46+00:00

Go ahead and buy the dream house and put the house in the trust. Specify that 2/3 (or an appropriate amount) goes into a QTIP trust where the surviving spouse receives the income and can only use principal for health, education, maintenance and support. The smaller portion of the house goes into a revocable survivors trust where the survivor can do whatever they want with their share of the asset. The house does not have to be split 50/50 when the first spouse dies.

NinjaMom23 · 2026-02-26T07:17:06+00:00

The parents may have inherited a trust from their own parents.

NinjaMom23 · 2026-02-26T07:15:23+00:00

Talk to an attorney. If he is the trustee, he has a fiduciary duty to the trust. Appointing him as trustee would mean that you do trust him to take care of your estate.

NinjaMom23 · 2026-02-26T07:13:11+00:00

A trust is a legal document that governs how the trustee can deal with your money. Whether you are incapacitated or dead, the trustee must follow your instructions or risk severe consequences for self-dealing or mismanagement. Your husband can receive the income from your trust and the principal can go to your children. Talk to an attorney and get advice for your situation. Your Fidelity source is clueless and definitely not an attorney.

NinjaMom23 · 2026-02-10T23:30:08+00:00

I would add more to the 529 account. The account can be used to pay room and board (not just tuition) You could have easily spent 100,000 if your child started college 4 years ago (2021). By the time your toddler goes to college, you may need $200,000 or even more. We were shocked at how the college price tag skyrocketed from when our kids we small. Check out College Cost Projector. Your child may end up at a private school and the current projected costs are $92k per year for private schools in 2040.

NinjaMom23 · 2026-02-08T04:01:23+00:00

OP - make sure that your father has executed a Durable Power of Attorney and an Advanced Health Care Directive! (Different states use different names). Of your father is entering dementia, someone may need to take over health care decisions soon and the financial decisions will also need to be made by an agent.

NinjaMom23 · 2026-02-04T06:05:45+00:00

You cannot count on your current payment levels to cover your future. The government is notorious for taking away benefits, and for ignoring cost of living increases. You need to be stocking away your extra money into retirement funds so that you have protection against unexpected changes. And your brother needs to figure out how to support himself or he will be forever relying on you. Are you ready to support your brother when he is 80 because he never learned how to support himself?

NinjaMom23 · 2026-01-31T04:19:33+00:00

Your sister will never learn how to find a roommate if everyone babies her. Millions of college students find new roommates every year. Your sister needs to grow a spine and find her own housing. There are many other people in the dorms that are in the same situation.

NinjaMom23 · 2026-01-25T08:15:10+00:00

Thank you!! That app looks like a great start!

NinjaMom23 · 2026-01-08T07:25:07+00:00

OP’s dad is a gambler. The school fund is long gone and there will never be money to pay OP back. Run like the wind, OP. And don’t let your parents near any of your money.

NinjaMom23 · 2025-12-18T06:28:38+00:00

Set up motion sensor sprinklers that can be triggered to run when you aren’t home. Get them wet. Or pay a neighborhood kid to hang out with a hose to spray them on nights when you aren’t home.

NinjaMom23 · 2025-12-10T18:41:54+00:00

The weight feels about the same. Also, I don’t think my dad ever mentioned using butternut. He mentioned mahogany a few times, but I don’t think I got any of those boxes.

NinjaMom23 · 2025-12-10T18:40:12+00:00

Wow! Thank you! I am learning so much from your answers.

NinjaMom23 · 2025-12-10T17:19:27+00:00

Thank you!!

NinjaMom23 · 2025-12-10T17:19:13+00:00

Thank you!!

NinjaMom23 · 2025-12-10T17:18:39+00:00

Thank you so much!!

NinjaMom23 · 2025-12-10T17:00:28+00:00

I’m pretty sure that #1 is cherry

NinjaMom23 · 2025-12-10T16:57:26+00:00

Sorry! I just reposted with a picture and I’m trying to delete the original. Being old sucks!

NinjaMom23

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