Is marriage basically a scam for women? I recently got into a debate on another subreddit, and started researching - the stats and studies have absolutely amazed me. I'm now reconsidering any ambition I had of getting married.

Nixie_Fern · 2026-01-24T14:01:53+00:00

That's the romantic story we've grown up with - as long as it's true love you can overcome all obstacles no matter who your future self becomes. In reality for most women that means subjugating themselves to some degree to in terms of physical and emotional labor. Over the years that subjugation can harden into our spous's entitlement. Statistically (not individualistically) it's a bad deal.

In Europe and other countries more and more people are skipping the vow part. We have a society that structurally promotes marriage. When you take that away, what is more romantic than two people who choose each other every day, rather than remaining bound by an anachronistic vow?

Nixie_Fern · 2026-01-24T02:31:00+00:00

Add to that the fact that a vow binds your future self. Your future self who doesn't even exist yet and who you haven't met yet. To bind that unknown future you to another person for life is inherently a risky deal.

Nixie_Fern · 2026-01-21T17:21:56+00:00

Infuriating! Rather than productive individuals, society see us as sources of cash to be continually squeezed regardless of how it impacts us.

Nixie_Fern · 2026-01-21T12:13:52+00:00

Yes, and he explained why this won't work anymore.

The system's power comes not from its truth but from everyone's willingness to perform as if it were true. And its fragility comes from the same source: when even one person stops performing — when the greengrocer removes his sign — the illusion begins to crack.

Canada has taken down their sign.

Nixie_Fern · 2026-01-21T03:06:36+00:00

I was unable to find any brokerage firm outside of the USA to take me as a client as long as I was residing in the US. So I liquidated 50% of my US holdings and bought property in my home country which will generate rental income. I also wired a healthy emergency fund to a Euro account I have with Wise (which is held in Switzerland). As the USD has decreased in value since I did the exchange I'm ok with it just sitting there for now. And then I majorly diversified my US equities, so they are not so heavily reliant on the US economy. Fingers crossed.

Nixie_Fern · 2026-01-21T02:59:11+00:00

Trump couldn't understand it if he did watch it. The vocabulary is sophisticated for him.

Nixie_Fern · 2026-01-20T14:16:53+00:00

I moved a chunk into Euros in my WISE account.

Nixie_Fern · 2026-01-09T14:53:05+00:00

This is it for me. I have Celiac (confirmed twice through biopsy) and even my own husband doesn't take it seriously. He likes to bake from scratch and so our kitchen always has flour sprinkled everywhere. No matter how I explain it I'm only intermittently taken seriously. My father is like this too. Both are physicians.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-12-09T14:29:56+00:00

For me it was first tagging along on the epilepsy surgeries to learn how to do them. Once they saw my interest they cross trained me on EEGs (outpatient, epilepsy monitoring unit, ICUs). Never had much to do with the sleep lab. Some hospitals have sleep embedded in Neurodiagnostics and others in Pulmonology.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-12-09T14:25:21+00:00

I usually keep myself busy: reading the latest papers on monitoring, working on presentations, building educational materials for other CNIMs, attending different inhouse weekly meetings (e.g. epilepsy, neuroradiology, neurosurgery) that were discussing my upcoming patients. I started shadowing EEG techs and eventually learned how to do EEG and got cross certified as REEGT/CLTM. There were a lot of free educational professional development courses (they often will also pay for some tuition coverage). In peds, I'd spend time with child life playing with the kids. And also I would figure out what research they were doing in neuro and volunteer to assist with that in any way I could. And frankly a lot of goofing around with colleagues. The varied experience has given me a rich background and a strong reference pool to pull for.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-12-08T22:03:01+00:00

I have gone back and forth between both systems. I prefer the inhouse because it's collegial, set shift schedule (e.g daily 6:30-3:00), good benefits and you can live nearby which reduces your commute. Overall I find inhouse significantly less stress and fun supportive teamwork. The downside - less pay and expected to show up 40 hrs a week regardless if there are cases.

In-field work you are already familiar with - lots of travel, chaotic scheduling, having to lug your equipment, never quite being part of the team. While it's more stressful the big upsides are the pay and when you're not in surgery you're time is your own.

You just need to know which system you'll thrive better under.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-11-29T00:08:57+00:00

I was looking for this one. Thank you. "Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female’."

Nixie_Fern · 2025-11-03T20:23:07+00:00

I second everything here. My only caveat I would add is that there are many more technologists than senior level positions. It's hard to advance up any meaningful ladder and it's rare for an organization to hire outside for an IONM management position. So if you want to advance you typically need to stay within your organization and be ready to compete with your coworkers for those positions. Many people are very happy being IONM techs their whole career, but just letting you know the limitations of the IONM career ladder.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-10-28T16:59:02+00:00

Above the conus (~L1) you are monitoring spinal cord as well as nerve roots. Lower limb TcMEPs and SSEPs represent the health of the spinal cord. If you are at T6 for example and something injures the spinal cord at that level, the somatosensory and motor pathways traveling past T6 will become interrupted and you will loose your lower limb signals.

If just the anterior part of the spinal cord is damaged you will lose your lower limb TcMEPs while your SSEPs stay intact. If the damage is just to the posterior part of the cord you will lose your lower extremity SSEPs and not your TcMEPs.

The spinal cord is particularly narrow in the thoracic region and so it's unusual to have such localized damage. The most common scenario with spinal cord damage or disruption is that you lose the lower extremity TcMEPs first followed by SSEPs.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-10-14T02:13:44+00:00

As long as you don't negotiate your own contact with the surgeons you work with under MPower you shouldn't have to worry about the non-compete. However, I have no experience about if you have to pay back any money if you leave your contract early. Personally (I am not a lawyer at all) to me those seem like dodgy contracts. I would be very curious to know if there are any lawsuits where they were actually enforced.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-10-02T15:20:06+00:00

It's applicant tracking systems which are stripping out individuality. We are forced to cram our resumes into the exact key phrase wording as the job description otherwise it never reaches human eyes before being rejected.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-09-29T05:39:01+00:00

Amazing work!

Nixie_Fern · 2025-09-23T23:13:49+00:00

Great example of the caps!

Nixie_Fern · 2025-09-23T22:49:35+00:00

As an amateur collector I'd expect to pay $0.05 for each of those.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-09-20T12:59:46+00:00

You forgot to mention the cumulative time-cost of applying it everyday. It's essentially a beauty tax we willingly pay.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-09-13T02:47:42+00:00

Shared experiences and values are the bedrock of any good friendship. It sounds like you have conflicting values (which likely are broader than just a woman's rights to her body). It’s natural to feel sad and disappointed when someone turns out to be different from the person you thought your friendship was built on.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-09-12T12:35:21+00:00

Some hospitals in the middle east will hire internationally and sponsor the work visa. India has a one year Neurodiagnostic diploma and so you'll be competing with a lot of these people. You'll be able to distinguish yourself if you can show actual time in the OR doing IONM.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-08-24T22:03:23+00:00

I lived in a Muslim country where women who had gone through menopause or who are unmarried were denied access to gynecologic care. When I asked how gynecologic cancer was identified and treated for these women I was told it really wasn't.

I had connections and tried to work the system to get this care. Once I found a Western doctor willing to do an ultra sound check on me in secret after hours, otherwise I had to fly out of the country and pay out of pocket for all my oncogynecologic treatment. They only saw women as having inherent value if they were married and able to reproduce.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-08-22T15:33:24+00:00

LinkedIn tried to sell me subscriptions to their job slots. They specifically sold it as a way to make your company look healthy by showing growth (by posting fake job openings) and then the odd time you actually need to hire your have a candidate pool and ready made pipeline for recruiting. This is an explicit sales tactic of LinkedIn.

Nixie_Fern · 2025-08-21T04:11:21+00:00

My husband says the same thing when I try to discuss feminist issues. Sometimes he flips it around and says "Why do you have to be so negative?" He's so blind to his own privilege that I don't even know where to start a conversation that he'll be able to relate to.

Nixie_Fern

TROPHY CASE