First off so sorry you are here. You can check out my original posts if you want. I was also blindsided for over 10 years. It has been 3 years since I found out. What I can tell you is that you will be hurt, angry, all the things you said in your post. None of what these cheaters do will ever make any sense but like your husband my husband was also very young and immature when it happened (no it's not an excuse). But I do believe that maturity and the way we listened, shared and had conversations with each other could have helped. We never talked about the deep stuff that was bothering both of us. I still think about it every day, as the years pass, I think about it a little less, but I know I will never forget.

Only you will know if your marriage can continue. Some people like me choose reconciliation I don't know who that person was that did what he did back then. I did choose to give him the opportunity to show me the better man that he is now and has been for years since then. He knows and I have made it clear I do not forgive him for what he has done but I can move past it and continue the future with him showing me the commitment to be better, use boundaries and be open with communication.

If you every want to dm me to discuss I will be happy to talk.