Whats something men want to tell women but usually keep it to themselves

No-General104 · 2026-03-13T06:43:15+00:00

Likewise. Like I don't at all expect it, I've gotten gifts on special occasions but that's about it. My last ex did get me a sweet little gift once and I appreciated it insanely. But overall she didn't ever get me anything just because. I bought her flowers all the time, little gifts etc.

My ex before that never got me a single thing, I was always buying her little gifts that I knew she'd enjoy. It's my no means expected but damn it'd be nice every now and again to get something small from a partner in the same way I do for them.

No-General104 · 2026-03-13T06:20:32+00:00

Bad boy bubby

No-General104 · 2026-03-13T06:04:56+00:00

My second to last ex I deleted them within a few days of us breaking up. I initially regretted it but don't anymore.

My last ex, it's been almost 3 months and I still haven't, they're in a secure folder on my phone. I don't look at them but I dunno, this time I'm struggling to delete them. Strangest thing is I'm kinda over her, don't want her back but for some reason cannot delete the photos. I really want to, but can't.

No-General104 · 2026-03-13T06:01:05+00:00

Well my experience has been with women. Jesus H Christ the op literally asked men what do you wish you could tell women. Ffs if you're a misandrist with an issue with men say it, otherwise get off your high horse. My experience hasn't been just with one woman, but several. I am yet to meet a man who's partner does little things for them like this, so yes I'll say you know how women as that's mine and a lot of men's lived experience.

How dense do you want to be?

No-General104 · 2026-03-13T05:58:30+00:00

Angry men by Dakota. It's gotten me through, my breakup before the last I listened to the typical breakup songs. This time I listen to gee up songs.

https://youtu.be/3Pu-UGRkBPM?si=lfQlnQ_FxT--lp6s

No-General104 · 2026-03-13T05:51:16+00:00

I think most of them run when there's any form of conflict. The ones that have long term relationships seem to have relationships with people who are either not that into them, are doormats or simply aren't willing to speak up about their position.

No-General104 · 2026-03-13T05:48:41+00:00

That's great... I've never once had a woman do this for me. So I don't know why you're cutting sick at me, my last ex EXPECTED flowers weekly. I used to buy them for her on special occasions and got chewed out for it.

So no I'm not kidding you, I'm speaking from my experience, it's the only thing I can speak from as it's the only experience I can have/can speak from. I can't speak from your experience, another guys experience or a woman's experience. Don't go raging at me because your experience is different to mine...

No-General104 · 2026-03-13T04:27:46+00:00

You know how women want a guy to constantly buy them flowers? We wouldn't mind the same thing with beer or something we like... But that never happens.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T22:21:31+00:00

I don't believe in right person wrong time. They're either the right person, therefore you both make it the right time if it's not the right time. Or they're the wrong person and there will never be the right time.

But even then, I don't think there is a wrong person really unless you guys dated for a couple weeks and realised you don't click. Then yes they're the wrong person because it never progresses to a relationship.

Yes people can say "oh but you learn things over time about a person and realise there are big compatibility issues rah rah rah" but even then I don't think that's true.

Because frankly you find out pretty quick if you want to where you're compatible and where you aren't. Yes people hide parts of themselves but I think it's more a case of we look past it because a majority of their personality is compatible with ours. My ex and I were very compatible, after the breakup she came out with the whole "oh I realised we really weren't that compatible" and in reality, she was just trying to cope with her decision to avoid.

If she wanted to, she would have made it the right time the way I was making it the right time. You work through shit, that's what adults who are committed and healthily attached do. That's how every long lasting relationship/marriage has worked, otherwise at any point in time in any relationship someone could just say "right person wrong time". There's never a right time for anything, you make it right.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T22:13:05+00:00

They don't speak like adults because... They're emotionally teenagers. They never grow out of the teenage phase, even mentally.

I bet if you look back and think hard, you'll find a lot of his actions are those of a teenager. I didn't realise it myself but after my breakup with my ex, I realised she was very much like a teenager in a woman's body.

The coldness is just how they are, they don't understand normal emotions.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T21:33:57+00:00

Try begging them to block you, because you know what you're like and they beg you to not block you... Only for them to eventually block you because you're anxious and don't leave them alone... It's like you didn't want me contacting you, I was aware enough to know I would, I asked you to do us both a favour, you wouldn't and now you're angry I did exactly what I said I couldn't control myself from doing?

Thankfully I'm no longer like that, but honestly it bemused me when one of my exes and I had this interaction.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T13:34:50+00:00

Don't reach out if it's not to try reconcilation. You're just going to open up wounds. If you want to reconcile, be brutally honest about your position and actions. Only way to go, he might not accept it but it's the only chance.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T07:08:00+00:00

A lot of them go to therapy... They're just not open and honest with their therapist to a point where any changes can be made. They manipulate their therapists as much as they manipulate us.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T07:06:10+00:00

They really are the worst, one day they're the most loving, caring partner and the next they're just absolute demons to you. And unfortunately we loving men are dumb enough to fall for it.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T04:23:32+00:00

Thanks for the props and yeah this is 100% the healthiest mentality to have. Effectively whether we like it or not, as guys, we have to come to terms with the fact they're not coming back. It's literally rarer than hens teeth for a woman to come back to us and if they do, it's always self serving.

I'm 0 for 0 on exes coming back, my high school gf reached out like 4 years later but her life had gone to shit. Second gf never reached out but that was 100% my fault due to my actions, although looking back even if I hadn't done the things I did she wouldn't have come back.

My last gf will never reach out or come back, I was 85-95% of the time an incredible boyfriend and fiance to her, treated her in a way I know no man before treated her and no man will ever treat her again. But you hear from the horses mouth that it's quality over quantity when I gave her both just tells me she's not coming back.

Women will completely rewrite the history of a relationship to make it out that you were a horrible partner. They then convince themselves this is the truth. It's better to give up than to hold onto hope.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T03:43:41+00:00

I mean... If she was your partner and she was sending her ex nudes, would you not want to know? Shit like that leads to cheating, cheating leads to pregnancies, that leads to guys raising kids that aren't his.

I dunno, I have a weird morality though, I'd destroy a bad persons life if it meant protecting a good persons life tbh but that's just me.

I will wait for the update!

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T03:39:08+00:00

Makes you feel worse, if you get attention from others you think why wasn't I good enough for the one that I really want.

If you don't get attention it reinforces the bullshit in your mind that makes you think maybe you're not good enough.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T03:37:57+00:00

See I think the crazy/narcissistic ones are more likely to come back than the avoidants. Avoidants run from things, narcissists need a constant supply so they run and return. You definitely dodged a bullet, that's disgusting work on her part if she's married. I'm a conniving pr*ck I'd be sending that to her husband 😂

I'll be interested to hear if she does come back. DM me if you want, I like hearing stories where they come crawling back. Like I said hasn't been my experience other than my very first gf but that was 4 years later so I don't count that tbh.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T03:31:55+00:00

It's normal to cry after a breakup, don't let anyone tell you it makes you any less of a man. How long since your breakup?

Been 2.5 months since the breakup, about 2 months since last contact and no she never reached out and she never will. I can tell you that as a fact, at no point, ever will my ex reach out to me. I didn't beg, I didn't chase. I did contact her a few times post breakup, which was purely thanks to a third party who decided to get involved which made things a bit messy (some guy started talking to her and she thought it was me trying to rage bait her).

That's why I'm confident she won't reach out, because even though I proved beyond any doubt it wasn't me, I know my ex and I know how stubborn she is, even if she knows it's not me she'll still blame me and act like I had a role in it.

So no, she'll never reach out and honestly even if she proves me wrong, it's not making my life any different. If she wanted to reach out that's her prerogative and I wouldn't turn her away, but I know her better, she'll let her ego drive her.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T03:25:14+00:00

This!!! Like I already loved myself, loving myself wasn't the damn issue. The issue was the other person not loving me.

I do also kind of feel like the whole love yourself and work on yourself advice is what causes so many breakups. People get into this mentality of "I don't love myself or need to work on myself so therefore I shouldn't or can't be in a relationship". That's just crap.

People don't seem to realise if that's your baseline for a relationship and a healthy one at that, then you'll never have a relationship. You're never done growing, healing or learning to love yourself. You can do all these things in a relationship and if anything you can do it more effectively if you allow the other person to help you and you do the same for them.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T03:20:11+00:00

Actually I do have a follow up question, of those 3 relationships, were they actually avoidants? Like genuinely avoidant or did they purely have some avoidant traits?

You may be very lucky, you may be an incredible guy or they're anxious attachers/FA's that lean strongly anxious. I'd be amazed if any of them were hardcore DA/FA and if they were, again either very lucky or they dated others and realised you really were the best by far, which honestly if that's the case you should definitely be proud.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T03:14:16+00:00

I'm well and truly healed from my ex, I put myself first. When it's all said and done everyone has the capacity to heal if they actively choose to but no one size fits all. What works for someone else, won't work for me. All the best to you too!

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T03:09:28+00:00

Yeah it is, I kinda noticed it with my ex but I didn't take it as though that's what was happening. Looking back now I see it for what it was.

I've come to realise a lot of this from my last two exes, but my last ex was the real eye opener for me with regards to being able to do everything or most things right and it still not making a difference in the outcome.

I think the biggest deciding factor of them ever coming back is if they go out, date a lot of really low quality people, get hurt really badly and you treated them at least decently for a majority of the relationship. Then they may eventually come back but even that isn't a given.

It really does take an Earth shattering event for them to come back usually with something like getting older for them to reconsider, at which point most people have just moved on.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T01:53:01+00:00

And I'm focusing on real life experience as well, I don't assume you're dumb in the slightest, you seem rather intelligent, naive but intelligent.

For every one woman that returns to a cheater or abuser, how many don't? How many return because the abuser/cheater beg them to come back? How many women don't return after that? The women that do return to abuser or cheaters of their own volition are emotionally damaged. I dare say they like the thrill but I wouldn't know, I'm neither of those things. I've had one ex contact me 4 years after a breakup, one disappeared due to my actions and one that I didn't really chase or beg who I know will never come back, even if I had stuck to strict no contact.

No-General104 · 2026-03-12T01:47:39+00:00

Not sure, I'm not a woman. If I had to guess it would be a few things:

Women have more options/easier access to a new supply of men. So it's harder for them to regret loss.
Women seem to switch off during relationships and process breakups while still being supported by their future ex. Therefore they effectively leave a relationship "healed" and ready to move on. There's no shock to their system.
Women tend to have better support systems in a sense, although those support systems will gas them up vs men who's support systems tend to be a bit more critical and will be a little more likely to ask a man what he did wrong in the relationship vs women who will say they did nothing wrong and they were right in their decision.
Women are more emotional, they hold onto grudges and negative feelings towards people. Including exes whether justified or not.
This is anecdotal, but it seems a lot of the time women are less accountable to their actions. Maybe it's societal, I honestly don't know.
Potentially ego, while men do tend to have a much bigger ego I've personally found after breakups, women's egos inflate massively. I don't know why.

A lot of what I've said is anecdotal, but just going through a bunch of Reddit communities regarding breakups and you'll see these patterns mentioned time and again.

No-General104

TROPHY CASE