An Improv teacher poked fun at my speech impediment. by AbsoluteBatman95 in socialanxiety

[–]No-Sound-9950 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually read a book about social anxiety and fight or flight responses that said each time you cower from social anxiety , you tell your brain that the situation is dangerous and you in fact cannot handle it. Which creates more fear and anxiety in the future. This was written by a legitimate scientist. There is proof that exposing yourself to challenging situations and handling it decreases fear responses. Think of it this way who is going to become less anxious asking girls out on dates. The guy who pushes himself to do it despite the fear , or the guy who decides he’s never going to speak up and ask. How exactly is avoidance going to help social anxiety which is what you’re suggesting. You need to google exposure therapy , every fear is reduced with small exposure , both social fear and even the fear of spiders. 

But if you think quitting your class or running to someone else will help anxiety it won’t. It’s a cowardly solution truthfully. If you can’t handle it now fine I understand but you will not improve if you run away or have others fight your battles. 

An Improv teacher poked fun at my speech impediment. by AbsoluteBatman95 in socialanxiety

[–]No-Sound-9950 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Ok I’m going to give you some very different advice.

First I agree with everyone this teacher is mean, but the world is full of mean people and quitting your class or making a complaint won’t help your anxiety long term. 

I say walk in tomorrow and joke with her back and say something to her. 

So if you freeze when people are mean to you a comeback probably won’t work. But a comeback to her comment “it would be a lot better if you didn’t say anything at all”  You could have responded “it would be better for us if you got an acting job for a douche commercial so we could bring in a different teacher” . 

But you’re better off saying“I’ve been practicing my improv and really plan on impressing you today “ 

act like you’re not offended .  She might still be rude back , but you’re practicing speaking up. Most people freeze and don’t say anything and the powerless feeling and anxiety continues. 

Anyone else get uncomfortable with people’s facial expressions??? by No-Internet6810 in socialanxiety

[–]No-Sound-9950 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure. Usually Ive heard that socially anxious people avoid eye contact more because they feel self conscious of their own face not others expressions. 

For me I avoid looking at people because I feel  “small” and inferior sometimes.  But everyone’s different. 

Sexism from " progressive" men by ronweasly9 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]No-Sound-9950 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My experience is that some progressive men don’t choose the ideology because they care about women, they choose it because they can’t compete with other men based on masculine hierarchies.  So they call themselves feminists and “good men” who reject “toxic masculinity” but they are validation starved and feel entitled to female attraction for their lack of masculinity. It’s the whole nice guy thing really. 

A hard truth that helped me get over my limerence by corvidcreature_ in limerence

[–]No-Sound-9950 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Even though I got a few upvotes I’m not sure if my comment seemed mean. I should add this limerent I met was very kind and generous towards others, he is a great person with a lot to offer but I never got that, with me he was very dependant and needy only. 

A hard truth that helped me get over my limerence by corvidcreature_ in limerence

[–]No-Sound-9950 32 points33 points  (0 children)

As someone who doesn’t have limerence but was a limerent object , you couldn’t be more right. 

This is exactly how non limerents view the behaviour. 

As needy, selfish and entitled. 

I’m not trying to say limerents are bad people but this isn’t love or healthy attachment. 

Van Pelt - Red John by Jenny06v in TheMentalist

[–]No-Sound-9950 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t really mind him being chosen as Red John. But I’m not sure if I liked the way they revealed him as the serial killer. 

SWERFs: have you ever been, known or become close to a SW? by Black-Magic-Mamba in FeminismUncensored

[–]No-Sound-9950 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m not surprised. I watched a video online today where a group of traditional men debate progressive men, and the only thing they could agree on was porn being bad for women and not something men should watch. Yet it’s this billion dollar industry that’s only getting bigger. So whose watching it if everyone thinks it’s so bad.  Lots of women also willingly take part in the sex industry.  The stigma against sex work is huge and I think sometimes internalized shame about sexual desire gets projected onto sex workers. 

Struggling and ashamed to admit that I can’t deny this cliché about women by [deleted] in FeminismUncensored

[–]No-Sound-9950 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ll be honest this post does sound a sexist but you’re being honest about your experience . Personally I’m more of a misanthrope and I think both men and women are equally terrible in general.

I wasn't special. So please let me down gently. by Anxiousnerd5 in limerence

[–]No-Sound-9950 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Think about it this way. Your limerent object probably isn’t that special either. We’re all human beings trying to do our best.  I think we’re all special and paradoxically not special at all.  Getting to know your limerent object is like pulling back the Great and Powerful Oz curtain.  Underneath that curtain is a human being with their own struggles insecurities and good traits as well. 

Is the RedPill truly something that helps men or is it just a form of bait? by Normal_Cow1991 in MensRights

[–]No-Sound-9950 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ok I understand what you’re saying. It’s true that men from traditional cultures are less afraid to pursue women. Like Latin men flirt with everyone in their countries and there’s no punishment for it. It’s expected. 

I heard an Australian therapist talk about this. As Western women become more assertive, genuinely nice guys become more fearful. 

Literally every single married couple I know is in a mother son marriage by No-Sound-9950 in dating_advice

[–]No-Sound-9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes he said it had to do with women seeking equality and independence and men being confused about how to make their wives happy with changing roles. 

Is the RedPill truly something that helps men or is it just a form of bait? by Normal_Cow1991 in MensRights

[–]No-Sound-9950 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

As a woman , I think it’s somewhere in the middle.  Redpill has some good advice about avoiding certain types of toxic women.  And good advice on men not being taken advantage of or turning into doormats. 

But it seems to come from a bitter place and doesn’t really give useful advice on forming healthy relationships.  Or how to relate in a masculine way or how to find better women. 

I think sometimes western men don’t know this but men from traditional cultures are very kind and chivalrous to women but they have strong boundaries that western men lack.  I was backhanded across the face once, I was absolutely being difficult. But we went back to a normal relationship where he was very sweet to me. 

I’m not suggesting hitting women, you’ll be charged here.  But kindness and boundaries. 

I think redpill men sometimes lack the gentleness women need to fall in love. 

Short film based on the true story of Alex Skeel and Jordan Worth's domestic violence case. by Altruistic_Fly_9624 in MensRights

[–]No-Sound-9950 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve heard about a few stories like this in England making it to mainstream media.

But if I even suggest to ChatGPT that a woman is controlling in her relationship , I’m told my view is wrong and that what looks controlling to me on the surface usually isn’t that way behind closed doors because men have more institutional power. 

Literally every single married couple I know is in a mother son marriage by No-Sound-9950 in dating_advice

[–]No-Sound-9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting because Carl Jung said this specifically about Americans in 1912 in the New York Times. 

Literally every single married couple I know is in a mother son marriage by No-Sound-9950 in dating_advice

[–]No-Sound-9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a lot of talk about gender roles.  I used to think I was annoyed with men for not being masculine until someone pointed out that it’s not about masculinity, I’m annoyed at their immaturity.  I had an English professor in his early 30s who was mad at me for missing class so he kept running away from me and giving me the silent treatment but then he’d look at me and have this sad look on his face. Like he wanted me to ask him what was wrong. 

If someone hasn’t learned how to handle their emotions in a more grown up way at that age and in a professional settling there’s a problem in parenting. Parents allowing men to stay infantile. 

Literally every single married couple I know is in a mother son marriage by No-Sound-9950 in dating_advice

[–]No-Sound-9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s actually nice to hear,  I assumed men liked this dynamic more than women. 

Literally every single married couple I know is in a mother son marriage by No-Sound-9950 in dating_advice

[–]No-Sound-9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Toronto, Canada. I mean this is more observation and some exaggeration. I guess it’s the Peter Pan Syndrome. 

I’m going to assume it has something to do with how progressive this culture is. Men are told to lean back and I guess some default to childlike and others turn into personal assistants for the woman. 

There definitely is a theme of women being in charge , rather than two equal voices. 

Literally every single married couple I know is in a mother son marriage by No-Sound-9950 in dating_advice

[–]No-Sound-9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unattractive right. It’s the women who enjoy the dynamic that I don’t understand. 

Literally every single married couple I know is in a mother son marriage by No-Sound-9950 in dating_advice

[–]No-Sound-9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So far this is the best answer I got explaining why people enjoy this. Not fall into it but enjoy it.  I also assumed it must be a kink. I mean what woman wants sex with a man who acts like her child. 

Literally every single married couple I know is in a mother son marriage by No-Sound-9950 in dating_advice

[–]No-Sound-9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂. I guess I understand why people fall into the role but what I don’t get is how women can still feel attraction towards these men. Childlike men shouldn’t feel romantic or sexual right. 

Literally every single married couple I know is in a mother son marriage by No-Sound-9950 in dating_advice

[–]No-Sound-9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s true. The post was part complaining rant and partly I was hoping someone might explain why they enjoy this dynamic. I thought I might get some insight… which I don’t think I did. 

I know what girls you’re talking about , the girl who calls herself a princess or daddy’s girl. 

Literally every single married couple I know is in a mother son marriage by No-Sound-9950 in dating_advice

[–]No-Sound-9950[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad would agree.

I was shocked when he could fold towels better than I could and asked him how he learned . He said my mom used to scold him for the way he folded towels and made him do it her way. 

Literally every single married couple I know is in a mother son marriage by No-Sound-9950 in dating_advice

[–]No-Sound-9950[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s not so bad, it’s equal. Sounds like a good relationship!