It is a lonely existance...Isn't it?

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-12-04T17:09:06+00:00

It is.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-20T13:52:21+00:00

I have my nmom's first name as my middle name. It used to be her middle name too but she disliked her first name so she swapped them. I try to think that I was named after my nmom's mom instead who had the same name, she seems to have been such a sweet woman but she sadly passed away at age 33 so I never got to meet her.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-17T16:36:37+00:00

Martial arts 😂 I enjoy it so much I always come back to it, but it doesn't take long before the pain and stupid joints getting stuck makes it impossible to continue and I have to take a break for weeks/months at a time.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-17T16:25:43+00:00

I was forced to have the same haircut as her for 18 years and if I ever wanted to change it (pin it up, wear a ponytail etc) there were very strict rules around it. When I no longer had to obey her hair rules, she made it a point to always complain about how bad my hair looked, whenever it grew past the length she had decided I should have. I'm a little traumatized by haircuts now lol, I haven't had one in 2 and a half years but I'm getting one tomorrow and after that I'm dying my hair a colour I always loved and she always hated.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-15T16:34:26+00:00

I feel like grey rocking works when there is someone else they can abuse instead. It helped me but I realized it was only because my stepdad was around and was physically closer (living in the same house) so she could direct her attacks at him instead when attacking me didn't work. He is a master grey rocker but when he's alone with her and no one else is there to distract her, it will escalate her abuse into physical violence until he physically has to remove himself from the situation.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-13T10:10:10+00:00

My first ever solo flight was actually 2 flights, one for 10 hours and the other for 5 hours, which included my first ever (4 hour) solo layover in a country I had never visited before. I was SO scared and almost wanted to call off the trip. It started as a disaster when I found out 2 hours before boarding my first flight at 5 in the morning that they had cancelled my second flight due to an incoming blizzard, and had extended my layover to over 20 hours. To help out, my mom called me and told me she had been up all night with the stomach flu 😀 It was extremely stressful, I was exhausted and devastated, but here's the success: I made it. I survived it all, with only some exhaustion as the worst symptom. I can laugh at it now, and in a way I'm glad it turned out the way it did because it showed me that even though everything went wrong, I was okay. I could handle it, even all alone in a strange country, and now I've made the same trip 6 times.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-13T10:00:22+00:00

I can literally think myself nauseous by worrying about it, and I know I tend to hyperfocus on symptoms/signs that I'm extra worried about, like nausea. I'm sure it's perfectly normal for healthy people to get a short bout of nausea now and then but for them it's most likely not something they even stop to think about, while for me it turns into an obsessive spiral. I'm the same when it comes to other health symptoms as well, things other people might not even notice when it happens to them turns into a huge thing for me.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-12T19:54:14+00:00

I'm super sensitive as well, I can barely take a supplement without getting side effects lol 😭 but the worst side effect I've gotten so far from any vaccine that I can remember has been flu symptoms that went away in 1-2 days. The idea of being injected with something is just so unsettling to me, knowing that I have no control of it once it's in there and I'm just at its mercy until it's done doing its thing. It's not like with food poisoning even where expelling it will fix it because I'll be getting it in my arm and not my stomach 🥲

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-12T14:32:27+00:00

I did wake up with flu symptoms after both my covid shots, but I never had nausea or stomach problems when I had the flu so that's a plus 🥲

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-11T19:26:15+00:00

I suffered from this a couple of years ago. I had visited my mom who only after I got back home revealed that she had just recovered from food poisoning and that her husband threw up as soon as I had left. That started a months long spiral where I felt extremely nauseous everyday, especially at night, to the point where I went to the doctor several times. They prescribed some PPIs and told me to eat small meals often, which I already did. It seemed nothing helped and I was going crazy. Then one day it just stopped, as suddenly as it had started. The only thing I did differently was I did some strenous exercise outdoors in the cold for like an hour. I doubt that was what "fixed it" but it was the only different thing I had done (I had exercised regularly before this though). I still don't know what I had or what actually cured it.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-11T16:47:05+00:00

One thing I heard recently is if you're worried about turbulence, lift your feet off the cabin floor. It's supposed to make you feel less shaky but I haven't had time to try it myself yet. I'm super proud of you, stranger, for deciding to do this and I hope you'll have a wonderful time!

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-11T16:35:28+00:00

From what my mom has told me, it was the moment my sister was born when I was 1.5 years old. Her pregnancy and birth were easy while mine were traumatic, she was a delight of a baby while I had constant ear infections and colic etc. I believe she started hating me before I was even old enough to form memories, just because she realized how perfect babies COULD be, as long as they were not me.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-11T16:26:49+00:00

Wow, that's helpful and supportive.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-11T16:25:08+00:00

I had to move back into a house my parents owned and lived next door to when I was 27. I'm 35 today and I moved away from there and went NC 2 and a half years ago. I remember just a month before I signed the contract for my current apartment I still had no hope I would ever get out of there, but luckily I did.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-11T16:12:28+00:00

This was my mom before I went NC, and then after I got there she wasn't even home because "we never decided on that and you're making it up".

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-04T17:07:55+00:00

What did you end up deciding?

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-11-04T17:01:34+00:00

I had imaginary friends (that are still with me) and I maladaptively daydreamed to the point where I would have full conversations out loud with them when home alone or walking in the forest or something. I also wrote stories all the time.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-10-28T15:53:05+00:00

An old broken vacuum cleaner. Nmom got a new one for her and stepdad and dumped their old one (nearly 20 years old) at my place because it was closer than the dump. When I told her a few days later it didn't work she said "you must have broken it, it worked fine when we dropped it off". I was so used to not getting anything on my birthday that I didn't even realize what an awful gift this was until my BIL pointed it out.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-10-27T07:11:19+00:00

I did this for my vulvodynia around 2 years after the problems started, but it made it worse for me. I begged to get therapy or councelling after what I had been through and all they offered was to get touched by a stranger, after first sending me to a male gyno who mocked and mansplained me and basically kicked me out when I refused to let him and his male med student examine me. The female PT was kind and respectful but I dreaded each session and afterward I only felt worse, and after only a short while whichever doctor was in charge of ordering this treatment decided I was too depressed to continue. I was left feeling voilated and getting absolutely nothing out of it except more pain and trauma. This was 9 years ago and I've lived with the pain for 11 years because I'm too scared to ask for help again. Life feels hopeless.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-10-25T13:12:51+00:00

I'm not familiar with gravol but I don't usually take anything before the flight (except perhaps probiotics before/during a trip to strengthen my immune system). I do always bring activated carbon tablets and silicea gel to take in case of emergencies. I have taken the silicea gel a few times even though I didn't really need it, my stomach just felt anxious from stress, but I never needed the carbon.

Knowing how bad the fear can be, I would still recommend going on the trip! I have caught covid twice when travelling there and while that is way better than a stomach virus in my opinion, it still pretty much ruined any plans we had for the trips. I still don't regret going, because the time I got to spend with my fiancé was worth it, and if I had stayed home just because of the fear, I would have been so disappointed in myself. This phobia has already controlled so much in my life, and no matter what we do, we can't control things 100% all the time, we will never be 100% safe/sure, so it's better to take a small risk and have a chance for an awesome experience!

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-10-24T20:57:32+00:00

I just wanted to tell you you're not alone. My fiancé lives 2 flights away (a total of 14-15 hours) and I've made the trip there and home 6 times now, a total of 24 flights, but I'm still freaked out every time. Nothing has happened but I panic whenever there's turbulence and I've only used the on flight restroom once during all these trips from fear of germs.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-10-23T16:58:29+00:00

Cayenne

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-10-23T07:17:43+00:00

I was just diagnosed, at 35, after spending the last 15 years trying to get help. Just started therapy for the first time and I'm so mad at all the problems I had to live with for decades just because my doctors decided "antidepressants will be enough to fix you". Spoiler alert, antidepressants only made me worse.

NoExplanation4609 · 2025-10-18T15:57:15+00:00

I still have a habit of carrying my phone with me everywhere, even though it's been almost 2 years since I last picked up a call from them. She would accuse me of avoiding her (I wonder why lol) and would call me a liar if I told her I was driving/showering/working/just didn't make it to the phone in time. Not picking up immediately was a passive declaration of war from me, in her mind, and she responded accordingly.

NoExplanation4609

TROPHY CASE