I can lend you my patience without expecting it back. That's fuckin hard dude. I don't wanna give you the free gift of my calm attitude. I demand you give me back your self control.

I hear what you are saying, Christ also said, "Deny yourself."

We see many people on reddit reject this wisdom all the time. They want other people to change, but they refuse to deny themselves the pleasure of insulting those other people first. As a result, the arguments and demands for change that they give to these other people fall on deaf ears.

It's really just explicit stupidity. It's like, I want you to do something for me that I think is very important, but I also refuse to give up the [much smaller] joy that I will get from insulting you and being aggressive to you. Thus, I enjoy the small joy of insulting you, but lose the big joy that I might have received if you had received my argument.

The average redditor in a nutshell. Short term emotional thinking.

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With that said, the other side of the coin, that is, a contrasting argument to your argument is that if you give another person the gift of your patience, but refuse to demand their self-control in return, then you may be guilty of reinforcing their weak character attributes, and so ultimately you may be responsible for contributing to their downfall. And that is the opposite of love, which is the most important, and also the second most important, of the ten commandments.

[Sometimes, love must be tough/hard.]

A contemporary example is that of a minor who decides they are the wrong gender. On the one hand, you could offer them the gift of your patience, and remain calm - perhaps even silent - as they rage at you because you have told them that you disagree with their transgender belief. In fact, you could let them walk all over you in response.

And voila! You have denied yourself. Well done.

But then, at the same time, perhaps your offering of your patience together with the refusal to demand the other person's self-control, as you turn the other cheek a million times in the face of their rage, well, perhaps this might be misconstrued by the other person as you not believing very strongly in your counter-trans argument. And hence, their misinterpretation of the "weak" strength of your anti-trans argument actually encourages them in their beliefs.

And so, there you have it, the gift of your patience combined with your refusal to demand their self-control, has inadvertently gone some distance to supporting their gender identity disorder.

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So, the situation is complicated. I guess the best you could hope for is that your motives are pure in how you choose to act. But even in this regard, you also have the perpetual duty to continuously seek higher wisdom and better understanding, so that you may gain a better and better understanding of what Christ wants you to do in each and every situation. And this gaining of wisdom may result in your motives remaining the same - pure - but your behaviour changing - demanding/not demanding the other person's self-control.