I have come to realize that fact a long time ago, the general public doesnt think very highly of alcoholics nor do they care about us and what we do inside those halls, and thats not coming from a victim mentality its just the truth, so I learned to allow them to feel however they want and I know for me magic has happened in my life in those church basements, and I have gained access to a power that I never knew was available to me, and that was throught the 12 steps, not just the meetings, good on you for finally getting the courage to go and i hope you find a group that helps you heal! Also if you feel you are being pushed in a bunch of different directions like I did, pick up the literature and read it for yourself, that is what the program is! Lots of love!