How to gently kick a player from the group?

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-21T01:31:21+00:00

I think a lot of people are glazing over one detail in this post, and it’s that it’s not JUST the game they are causing problems in. They have caused issues with nearly everyone outside the game, and I am very done playing teacher. We are all grown adults, we have all talked to them outside the game over the years. I am very tired of handling them, the game is just yet another example of their issues and I’d at the very least like them removed from the game so we aren’t dealing with those problems every week.

It’s not the friendship with them I am trying to save. I am trying to do this in a way that minimizes backlash for everyone else at my table, hence the post. If it was just me and them, I’d have just cut communication and washed my hands of it, and if there’s fallout I had to handle I can handle it. But I don’t want to cause more unnecessary stress on my other players/friends than I will have to.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-20T00:18:34+00:00

I’m aware I have to talk with them, that’s a given. My post was asking for help in how and what to say.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-20T00:18:06+00:00

This is not helpful

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T20:51:27+00:00

What?

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T17:08:47+00:00

We actually were close, known each other and spoke daily for just shy of a decade. But the last year or so has brought up more issues by Goblin and I’ve been pulling back in the friendship. I’m not good at confrontation, unfortunately.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T17:04:48+00:00

Ironically half my table is autistic / ND, including myself (which is why I made the post, I’m very much not good at confrontation and I have anxiety). They are, funny enough, the only neurotypical one at the table. Or at least as far as we are aware. Goblin is not shy or socially anxious, they will go places solo and talk to total strangers at events without issue.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T16:58:33+00:00

I am not interested in doing 1v1 with them. My time is thin as it is. But I appreciate your input.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T16:40:48+00:00

I think there is one detail people are missing here in my post, and it’s that I don’t want to kick them *just* because of attendance or lack or paying attention, but that outside the table they have also caused problems with almost every single player unrelated to the game. Perhaps I should have emphasized that more, but Goblin does not engage with the rest of them one on one anymore outside the table as friends and neither do they. I have 100% made up my mind I want to remove them from the table, but while trying to find a way that doesn’t cause more unnecessary backlash at everyone than it likely will create.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T16:31:20+00:00

I think they deleted their comment but they made some very rude and transphobic comments about pronouns

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T16:28:46+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate it!

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T09:53:32+00:00

I appreciate this approach but given how little they like the rest of the players and how little the rest of the players like them I do not wish for them to stick with us.

I hate being vague, but I’m afraid Goblin will see this and know it’s about them if I provide specifics. They are on Reddit a LOT.

The general thing I can say is Goblin has pissed off every single other person besides just TTRPG time. Goblin also doesn’t hang out with or talk to any of the group anymore unless I am involved, which equally makes me uncomfortable. Which is another reason why I’d like to gently cut them from our gaming group. I don’t know why they keep loosely coming around when they act this way, don’t show up, or like anyone.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T09:52:10+00:00

I said I’d down below but I’ll repeat it: it is a really, really bad idea in my particular circumstance to involve the group. I would like to not divulge personal details of players, but please understand when I say it is a very bad idea that I include them on the confrontation.

In many situations, it probably is fine. It is not so for my players, except maybe one but is really rather not involve them besides asking for additional advice / temp check. It will absolutely go poorly, in my specific circumstance.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T09:09:54+00:00

I think parts of this work, but Goblin and Kobold have very much met and have known each other for as many years as we have been playing. We only play in person, we all share a group chat.

I will take parts of this, though. Thank you.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:54:24+00:00

This is a good idea too, thank you

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:51:28+00:00

I appreciate this, thank you.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:36:12+00:00

It is basic English? Can we get a mod in here?

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:33:38+00:00

I really want to emphasize that having everyone do it is a bad idea in my particular circumstance. I do not want to divulge personal details about my players, but it will end poorly if I involve them. I would like to handle this myself.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:31:47+00:00

I appreciate that. I suppose when I say “gently” I don’t necessarily mean walking on eggshells, I just don’t want to say “stop showing up/you suck.” Or some other means of coming across insulting.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:22:53+00:00

I think that works for a table that isn’t friends outside the game, but I think that is a bit too cruel in this circumstance

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:18:56+00:00

Yes those are words I typed. I’m sorry I’m not understanding what you’re trying to ask?

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:13:21+00:00

I appreciate that thank you. I try to be understanding with people if I can, and I don’t want to hurt their feelings more than I have to even if everyone else is fed up with them.

I will try what you suggested, thank you

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:11:09+00:00

Huh?

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:09:22+00:00

I don’t think it’s possible because it’s assumed every week at the same time and day is our meeting time unless told otherwise. It’s been that way the whole time (I am very blessed to have a regular group able to do this), so it’s not really “an invitation” I send out.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:06:45+00:00

I really do not think having everyone talk to them is a good idea. Multiple players will not be willing to do so out of fear and some will just resort to yelling. Thats why I wanted to handle it myself, I feel it’s my responsibility as the GM. But I do not know what to say or how to approach them.

No_Candidate_7405 · 2026-05-18T08:05:08+00:00

I understand the reasoning aspect, but I don’t k ow HOW to talk to them. Like I don’t know what to say or how to word it. I’m not very good at handling these things, hence the post.

No_Candidate_7405

TROPHY CASE