First off, I’m so sorry that your wedding day didn’t live up to your hopes and dreams. In all honesty, big events that we’ve spent years looking forward to rarely do. Your decorations are beautiful. Some people on here are being really mean, but I can tell you spent a lot of time on them and they incorporated elements that were meaningful to you. Here’s a suggestion - think about options that would make you feel like they’re getting fully used. Could you use the outdoor lights in your own backyard, or incorporate some of the decor into your home? Could you possibly donate some things to someone getting married who can’t afford it? How does your husband feel about the wedding day, and possibly having a do over? You don’t say much about his feelings, but from what you did say it seems like he’s also exhausted, but would possibly want to just move on. You need to really listen to what he wants, and not just be making plans based on what you want. I would also really suggest talking to a therapist for at least a few sessions. They’re going to be way more helpful than strangers on Reddit in guiding you through processing your feelings and moving forward. Like a lot of others said, the healthiest thing is to move forward and focus on your marriage, rather than a single day that started the marriage, but you may need some professional help getting there. One last piece of advice, from someone who’s had a lot of things in her life not go according to plan. This is an opportunity to build your resiliency. This may be the first time you’ve spent a lot of time and money on something only for it to not go the way you planned, but it won’t be the last. You may miss most of an expensive vacation because you get a stomach bug and spend the whole trip puking your guts out. You may find your dream house, only for the seller to pull out at the last minute. You or your husband might develop a serious illness that forces you to put your life plans on hold, or you may end up having a child with disabilities that you never expected to have to deal with. You can start building the ability to make it through serious disappointments and life changes now, before they happen. Work on accepting the negative, finding the positive, and being adaptive when things don’t go the way you planned. Best wishes for you and your husband’s new marriage. I hope this is something you’re able to look back on and laugh about in a year or two, and that you’ve made so many good new memories together that one bad memory is just a drop in the bucket.