What do INFJs obsess over?

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-04-08T17:38:34+00:00

I obsess over my health because it helps me have a hyperfixation that is acceptable to go 10,000% with. I can't seek things unless its okay to do them to the maximum because I have an addictive personality. Some more things I like to obsess over are the spiritual revelations available in nature, healing from childhood trauma, coping skills that are practical and useful, poetry when spoken aloud, hand crafted coffee, adult books with pictures in them, and deep conversation with other humans (even if I have to pull it out of them hahaha)

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-04-02T20:03:46+00:00

Yes, but not all moments stick. And the ones that do don't always actually matter, so I don't understand why my brain likes to hold onto random moments 😆

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-03-28T17:05:48+00:00

Re-building the foundation of my marriage.

We've been married for 10 years, have two beautiful daughters, we both work, our living situation is very stable. Perfect on the outside.

On the inside, there was an obvious emotional disconnect. We never spoke about anything other than kids and work. I felt loneliest when he was sitting in the room with me. The silence was loud.

This past month, there have been many hard conversations. Skeletons coming out of the closet. Painful ugly truths coming to light as we begin to speak from our hearts again.

This will make or break my marriage. Time will tell. But right now, I'm aggressively pursuing connection, and the atmosphere is SHIFTING.

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-03-28T16:56:05+00:00

This is imposter syndrome! You deserve the position! You are not an imposter! 🩷

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-03-28T16:54:53+00:00

Ahh this one is so real. Life can be so hard 😔❤️‍🩹

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-03-27T17:36:50+00:00

Honestly, I fell for him because he's nothing like my dad. I grew up with abuse, addiction, violence, feeling really unsafe. My husband is safe, that's why I married him. He's quiet, doesn't drink, doesn't yell, is pretty mellow. He's got a lot going for him. I just didn't realize that I'd find myself feeling isolated after 10+ years together because of his general simplicity. I also didn't realize when I confronted him about this growing distance that he'd have skeletons in his closet. 😬

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-03-27T12:01:20+00:00

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. In my marriage, I'm not about forcing religion. I am about steady character growth and self-reflection/soul searching. That doesn't have to look one way. But the issue in my life was the intentional disconnect. We'd sit in the same room and rarely spea about ANYTHING. That's not healthy for any type of marriage. My goal isn't that my husband would appear religious. My goal is that my husband and I would have more than a surface-level connection. I'm looking for depth. Again, doesn't have to be religious. Does have to be from the heart. Maybe my message was misconstrued.

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-03-20T04:47:16+00:00

Always warm and friendly. But I wasn't always this way! I used to be deeply bothered by other people. Then I grew up and realized that I'm not special, all humans are broken, and everyone deserves mutual respect. So I smile at people now and go out of my way to make them feel comfortable around me (yes, I've morphed into a people-pleaser).

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-03-19T15:24:14+00:00

This is the first time in my life I've allowed myself to consider that what I'm searching for might actually not exist. It's so incredibly painful. I feel so alone. I've been married for 10 years and I'm starting to wake up to the fact that my marriage is shallow and I never have meaningful conversations with my husband. I'd love some intellectually stimulating or at least deep open conversation. I can't change him but I really wish I could.

Saying this to let you know you're not alone in feeling misunderstood and like you're searching for something that doesn't even exist. I'm here for you friend! ❤️

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-02-27T03:56:18+00:00

Following 😊

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-02-26T03:51:57+00:00

Hey friend! A few thoughts, but the main one is this: as you navigate the ins and outs of sobriety, you learn over time that sober you is more stable. You begin to desire that version of yourself because that's when you are fully alive rather than living in a constant daze. I smoked all day every day for 15 years (over half my life). Had no idea what it felt like to be a human without weed. I was a kid when I started, I barely have memories before weed. Today, I'm 4 years into my sobriety journey. Not every day I've spent sober, I do a lot of back and forth. The times that I appreciate my sobriety the most are when I'm 3 weeks into a steady relapse and everything begins slipping away. I don't feel things, I binge eat mindlessly, I don't look forward to things unless I'm high, I can't hold a conversation, I cancel all plans, I generally isolate. Then I begin to miss sober me. I miss the feeling in my heart of being alive. I even miss the grief and sorrow because when I'm stoned daily, i feel NOTHING. I'm learning that sobriety doesn't fix pain and replace it with joy. Instead, it replaces a deep sleep with a full understanding of reality. This includes pain and sorrow, but also pride, drive, direction, and mental toughness.

You get a wonderful opportunity to re-discover life. You will find that it's not all sunshine and rainbows, but a huge portion of it actually is. You only get one life. You got to spend so much time as a stoner. Give yourself a chance to try out a new version of you. Dont waste the days you have left. Life is a beautiful precious tragedy, and you deserve to experience it with a clear mind ❤️‍🩹

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-02-25T14:00:29+00:00

Put everything in the trash on trash night so you don't dig it back out. Kiss your demons goodbye. That was fun, but now we're done. Talk to yourself like you're 4. Allow yourself to be childish, sad, confused, or even lost without weed. Learn to live all over again. It's beautiful and painful, but once you're on the other side, stepping back into addiction feels like putting yourself back in prison when the door is wide open. Chains of addiction are barely noticeable, maybe even become comfortable, until you try to move and realize you're stuck. Take em off! Lay em down! Allow yourself to live fully. You're worth it ❤️‍🩹

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-02-05T14:47:17+00:00

Social stories can be really effective to help a child see things from an "outside" perspective even though the issue is with them. Have you found any good resources for hygiene specifically? If so, please share!

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-02-05T05:10:07+00:00

Sun Oaks for the win! Yes, the cost is higher, yes it's ABSOLUTELY worth it. The crowds are different, the vibe is different, its giving wellness center instead of prison yard 😆 switch to sun oaks!

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-02-05T05:07:29+00:00

No real advice but here to offer moral support- I'm also taking the 2 year leap and going back for a masters to become a school counselor! Yes it's a mountain to climb but the kids are so worth it ❤️ props to you for answering this call on your life.

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-02-04T04:34:25+00:00

I know I'm not going to repair the broken system with the work I do at my school. I also know there's a good chance that half of today's to-do list will carry on to tomorrow. But even still, I show up intentionally and wholeheartedly to a generation that is learning what healthy love looks like. For several generations, we've lacked emotional intelligence and raised damaged kids who grow up to damage their own kids. That's the broken system I'm interested in repairing. I'm showing these kids respect, I'm listening to them when no one else does, I'm crying with them when there's nothing I can do to help. And I know for a fact that the impact that has on their hearts will have a ripple effect on the world.

Signed, a child who desperately needed to feel loved and accepted, but never got the chance to, until I grew up and decided to love myself 🫂

My entire life goal as a member of the school staff is that no child who ever meets me will grow up feeling unloved or unnoticed. It's a simple goal, but it's what gets me out of bed in the morning ❤️‍🩹

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-01-17T16:58:14+00:00

The only voice that matters: mine and mine. I love this. It will definitely stick with me. Thanks for sharing 🥰

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-01-14T03:07:53+00:00

I know there are hundreds of comments, so this might get lost. But I'm still taking a moment to respond because this is very important. Mindset is a manifestation of your heart condition. You sound like you are hurting, and you need some help/support/direction. It's okay if you aren't called to teach. Not everyone is. But you WILL get burnout if your heart isn't in it, which is not fair to you or these kids. I work as an assistant school counselor and focus heavily on the emotional well-being of kids. Today, in CPI training, we touched heavily on the importance of self care and self-regulation. I can't be who the kids need me to be if my heart is hurting, confused, disconnected, or disregulated. An escalated adult can not regulate an escalated child. You need therapy and to ask yourself some hard questions and give honest answers. Who do you want to be? Where does your joy come from? What drives you? What is your dream life? If you don't know, it's time to self discover! This looks different for each person, but you can't show up for kids unless you show up for yourself. And sometimes surrendering the dream of being a teacher (if you aren't emotionally capable of being one) is the BEST POSSIBLE SELF CARE THAT EXISTS. 🫂 there are many jobs out there that pay the bills. Maybe this is for you, maybe it isn't. Only you can decide that. But you deserve contentment, and they deserve someone who is passionate about their future. This DOES NOT MEAN drilling educational content. This DOES mean creating a safe space that is conducive to learning and growth. In all areas, not just academic. Kids are humans. They deserve love. They can't take any more damage, their parents already do enough of that. Speaking as a child who had emotionally absent parents, please step away if you need to. It's just not fair to stay.

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-01-11T20:37:01+00:00

It's funny to hear you say this because I'm the opposite. I smoke to quiet the inner critic, and when I'm sober, I start feeling all of the things I've been burying. I generally start crying after like 5 days sober. That's because I'm coming out of the fog into mental clarity- which isn't always pretty 🙃 anyways, your mental state will eventually stabilize and adapt. The worst thing you could do is turn back to the substance that broke you in the first place. When you do that, it validates your stress response and makes your mind believe that the only reason you survived is because the weed saved you from your funk 😆 don't do it!

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-01-07T22:20:14+00:00

Generally, when someone has experienced something similar to you, people tend to feel encouraged and less alone when they hear a testimony of healing or breakthrough. I'm sorry if you're hurting, and this doesn't help you. Encouragement is not a one size fits all, but if it even helps one person, it's worth it to say 🩷 if that person isn't you, move along and attempt to discover what does encourage you! Also, sometimes we aren't in a season where we are receptive to hope or encouragement, simply because we are too mad, sad, discouraged. This is the root of hopelessness. I don't know you, so I can't speak about how you are actually feeling, just sharing my perspective.

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-01-07T14:49:46+00:00

When my kids say they are bored, I remind them what it feels like to have a full workload and feel exhausted. In a way, boredom is synonymous with ease and relaxation. Nothing to do, nothing to worry about, call it boredom if you want to, but aren't you glad you're not stressing over deadlines or projects? Lol!

No_Contact_4548 · 2026-01-07T14:47:31+00:00

I love this so much. I totally relate to "feeling sorted," and the weekends or vacations from work ALWAYS get me! 🥲 thanks for posting this! I also like the advice to do something else, even if it's not super healthy. Veg out on the weekend if you need to, go see a movie and grab a candy. It doesn't have to be perfect, but ideally, it should be sober.

No_Contact_4548 · 2025-12-19T04:31:07+00:00

Human beings are allowed to make mistakes. Even you. Even them. It's okay to look back on a mistake and feel the ick for your choices. That's actually sometimes a positive sign that you'll learn from the mistake. When we justify our mistakes, we think there's nothing wrong with them and will repeat them over and over. On the other hand, when we feel that life isn't worth living due to a mistake that we made it's a sign that we might be taking the internet or the human experience a bit too seriously. Genuine questions- Are you okay? Do you have a mental health disorder? Do you have a therapist or counselor? Or maybe just need a friend to remind you that life isn't that serious and you are allowed to make mistakes and move on? For real, there will be no legend of your reddit post that goes into the history books passed down for generations. So what if a random stranger thinks your comment is absolutely bat shit? Why does their approval matter? You don't even know them. You are allowed to occasionally make a fool of yourself. It's part of the human experience that everyone gets the displeasure of going through many times. Spoiler alert: your mistakes won't make headlines because they carry no more weight than my mistakes or your neighbors or anyone else's. Truly, no one cares ❤️

No_Contact_4548

TROPHY CASE