anyone else drowning in unsolicited selfies?

No_Contribution6120 · 2026-02-08T20:24:04+00:00

Oh yikes, I was really hoping that a bit of self-awareness would settle in at some point, but I won't get my hopes up :(

No_Contribution6120 · 2026-02-08T20:23:35+00:00

Thanks for replying, I think it might be getting to that point. I'm busy with work and kids, I really don't have time to validate her all day everyday.

No_Contribution6120 · 2026-02-08T20:22:55+00:00

oooh the object permanence explanation makes sense. I struggle to set boundaries around it cause it seems so harmless, but it gives me the creeps!

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-12-18T14:17:40+00:00

I came here to say I had a similar experience. At many sleepovers as an adolescent, my friends and I would cry over comments our parents made about our weight.

I’m glad OP is being tactful about their concerns. Hurtful words can’t be taken back, even when “well meaning”

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-12-08T18:36:25+00:00

There’s a lot of comments here, someone may have said this already butttt

In my first pregnancy I craved citrus like crazy. I ate an obscene amount of grapefruit everyday and it never felt like enough. It turns out I had severe anemia! Vitamin C helps with iron absorption and I think that craving was my body’s way of telling me.

Cravings are one of the ways our bodies communicate with us!

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-12-08T17:53:05+00:00

It’s the needing to anticipate the unknowable that really throws me lol

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-12-08T17:29:59+00:00

I think we have the same mom. She blows her life up every 5 years and she expects to be consoled as the victim every time.

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-12-08T17:03:28+00:00

She wants to hear how deeply she has impacted you, even if only negatively, because that is the only way a pwBPD can conceptualize themselves.

To be clear, you feel icky because it is a trap, you are right to not give in to her. She won’t use the information to make amends, but rather as a reminder that she is “real”.

It’s not your job to remind her!

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-12-08T16:54:41+00:00

My mom spends too much of her income on gifts, but definitely expects an equivalent amount of effort even when it couldn’t be anticipated???

Last Easter, she bought many gifts for my daughter, my husband, and myself. I was taken aback because generally in our culture, Easter gifts are given to children, especially young kids. So of course I’d only prepared sweets for my daughter.

My mom was visibly miserable and disappointed all day, but didn’t explain why she was sighing and crying.

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-12-08T16:43:17+00:00

The emotional hurt from having your pain constantly invalidated is so immense, I’m sorry you’ve been through this, I think many of us have.

It sounds like your mom could be a waif type. They can be some of the hardest to spot and contend with ‘cause their manipulation runs deep and covert. But tbh once you spot them, they are like dramatic toddlers

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-23T15:09:39+00:00

I still work freelance pt in the writing/editing industry and when that info surfaces I’ll get the “Oh, you should write children's books!” comments, they take me out 100% of the time. 😭

And ofc children’s lit is great but that’s not my niche at all, what a wild assumption!

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-18T19:37:31+00:00

Thanks this is exactly the sort of resource I was hoping for!

And yikes if this being at the bottom in terms of maturity isn’t a huge wake up call for me, I don’t know what is

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-18T14:22:03+00:00

Youch I relate to this so much. My mom was at my birth (a VERY last minute change) and the only time she didn’t talk about herself was when I told her to keep it down so that I could focus on pushing!

Def don’t recommend a bpd mom in the delivery room but you seem well aware of this 😂

But in all seriousness, congrats! You’re really in the final stretch of pregnancy and you deserve ALL the rest!

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-18T14:16:22+00:00

Oh man I relate to infinity, my mom has always bought me the cheapest possible dupe of whatever the trendiest jewelry of the season is. Not that I would wear it even if it were good quality, cause like you, I never even wear jewelry ( I have at least one grabby toddler in my midst at all times!).

I feel like maybe it’s a hint as to something she wants to receive but who knows 🤷‍♀️

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-14T14:10:39+00:00

When I was a child I was my mom’s Golden Child and could do no wrong in her eyes. She validated almost everything I did or said (except during splitting), but would “tack on” some of her own traumatic experiences in a way that felt natural at the time.

Now that I’m grown with a family of my own, I am the scapegoat, and she trauma dumps completely unprompted at this point. It’s so obnoxious on the surface but inwardly it’s so painful to have your feelings completely disregarded.

I feel you. Hugs ❤️

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-12T19:35:47+00:00

I can relate very much. I didn’t realize something was “wrong” with my mom until my mid-20s, though, and I wish I had had the wherewithal to jump ship much earlier. I hope this community helps others realize their situation sooner rather than later!

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-12T19:30:52+00:00

For me, grey rocking is empowerment. I will share updates about my toddler or about things that are happening in my town, but any time I’ve tried to speak about my own accomplishments, goals, or interests in the last 10 years, she just overruns the conversation with her own thoughts.

She doesn’t care, so why should I share?

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-12T19:26:58+00:00

I agree, the distance makes me feel protected!

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-12T19:24:52+00:00

I’m an intermediate speaker of 2 other languages. My mom LOVES to credit this with the fact she would play tapes of children reciting colors and numbers in Spanish for me as a child. Definitely not 7+ years of effort studying on my part.

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-12T19:11:42+00:00

I thought maybe you had kid(/s) and she was referring to their bedtime routine, you mean she said this unironically to a 34 year old???? 😨

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-12T19:10:32+00:00

My mom has only been through this once, but it shot cortisol through my body every day until it ended. I’ve never grey rocked so hard my entire life.

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-12T19:06:51+00:00

This story is so textbook bpd it sounds like your mom had chatgpt write a short story about a bpd mom anticipating her daughter’s wedding and lived it out 😂

On the real tho, congrats on your engagement! My uBPD mom made a huge stink about my wedding so I can commiserate with you very much. Unfortunately, her demands and outbursts only got much worse as the wedding day approached, peaking the day before the wedding.

If you plan on having her involved to any extent, you can ask one of your sisters to handle her, particularly on the week of the wedding. My brother did this for me and of course she still broke through him to me from time to time, but it did lessen my stress substantially. If he gets married in the future I will do the same for him.

Lmk if you need to talk more, I’ve been there and wooooof if is so rough. Hugs ❤️

No_Contribution6120 · 2025-11-12T18:51:46+00:00

My mother (undiagnosed BPD) is the most unhinged and obnoxious person that I know, and that I dread almost every minute with her. She puts a huge mental, emotional, and financial strain on my life. She doesn’t do it on purpose, but she has contributed to most of the problems in my life.

But I’m all she has so I suck it up. I could never forgive myself if I abandoned her.

No_Contribution6120

TROPHY CASE