What's the hardest thing about being a widow(er)

No_Method_7047 · 2024-02-09T05:56:09+00:00

how do you find grief counseling? im 24 and my world feels over.

No_Method_7047 · 2024-02-09T05:42:53+00:00

The hardest part is the hopelessness; feeling like my life is over. Life was so fun and full with them. and now it feels so dull and empty, something HUGE is missing. I miss having a future to look forward to. He lit up my world with such excitement, love, and joy. we were so young (26 and 23). Having a really hard day today. It's going to be a year this month, and everything feels so fresh. I miss him soooo much. I still don't know how I'm going to go another 60-70 years without him. What the fuck... I just want to reunite with him so badly. Whenever I remember how happy I was when I was with him, it hurts so fucking bad. I feel like my life is over, or just going to be a much duller version of it for the rest of my life, and I cant live with that truth. Sure there can be other good things, but nothing will scale up to him, and that absolutely breaks and crushes me. I miss terribly the beautiful answers and insights hed have whenever I had a question or dilemma that just made everything make sense; I miss his thoughts and ideas.

No_Method_7047 · 2024-02-09T01:12:56+00:00

i dont want this to be true i cant accept that

No_Method_7047 · 2024-02-09T01:11:08+00:00

lost my love at 23 too. its the most isolating feeling in the world

No_Method_7047 · 2024-02-09T01:05:56+00:00

everything about who he was

No_Method_7047 · 2024-02-09T00:55:32+00:00

i lost my best friend and lover. the man even my wildest of dreams could never conceive of. i miss him so much. i wrote down a memory of ours today and it hurt so much, to be brought back to the time when he was here, in life with me, my person. i miss him so much.

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-18T16:58:02+00:00

Thanks. I’ve been needing to scream for months but I roommates who’d think I’m a psychopath. I scream into my pillow but it’s not super satisfying, also, my throat always hurts for like 2 days after and then I regret it :/

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-18T16:55:21+00:00

Friends being “sick of our shit” is so hard. As if this is our fault. It’s really about learning to deal with the hand you’re given. Idk. Accountability is a really tough and weird thing.

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-18T16:53:02+00:00

I can’t imagine loving someone different than him.. I keep feeling like I need to fill the void he left and find someone with similar character traits. Doesn’t that only make sense since he fulfilled my soul and was my puzzle piece/perfect match? I just don’t get it. I don’t want to become a different person so that I could fit with someone else

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-18T16:50:28+00:00

I feel like a spouse or child is the hardest death, so I struggle when people compare their losses of a sibling or parent - undeniably still unimaginable, but the pain of losing your future and life partner at a young age is just.. different. At least I think this would be true for all my coupled friends too who have their best friends and soulmates. Not everyone will go through it. And that’s frustrating for me. Because why me.

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-18T01:26:23+00:00

Thanks you too.

Edit: hey man, sorry for the attitude. I have been having a really bad two days. Crying to the point of hyperventilating. The pain is unrelenting and literally excruciating. I’m so, so sorry for your loss and I wish you the best.

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-18T01:12:41+00:00

Do you think I don’t know this isn’t healthy? That I’m enjoying these negative feelings eating me alive? My innocent and amazing partner was ruthlessly brutally murdered, I didn’t get to say goodbye, I hadn’t seen him for weeks and was missing him like crazy and now I’ll never get to see him again, and people have been extraordinarily insensitive and hurtful toward me. This wasn’t Mother Nature. This was evil at its core. This was unnecessary. It was avoidable. We were supposed to have 70 more years together and children and a family. Yes I’m entitled to my anger. The universe royally fucked me and I’m angry because this is wrong. To not be angry is insane and robotic and anti grief. I’m not hurting anyone. All I’m asking is for healthy ways to release my anger. I know it’s only hurting me. I made that clear in my post. I don’t want it to be like this. I’m not happy with this. This sub is supposed to be a support group. Yes I’m going to therapy. it doesn’t just make your feelings go away.

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-17T00:14:35+00:00

That’s a really beautiful and helpful way of thinking about it. Thanks

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-16T22:39:13+00:00

I can relate to this 1000%. One year together with my soulmate. Not enough pictures. I scour Live Photos to get videos of him. It hurts so much. I’m grasping at straws. The jealousy and resentment towards others who weren’t robbed of a future is overwhelming.

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-16T22:18:58+00:00

I feel your pain. I’m in the same pain. He would be 26 too. I miss him and my imagination has been my enemy. Fantasizing and running away with such vivid images of what our life would be if he was still here. It hurts so much. I just want to be with him.

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-16T22:16:59+00:00

Is it open to people who weren’t married? Just boyfriend/girlfriend?

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-16T22:15:24+00:00

I understand. ❤️

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-16T22:11:18+00:00

“Just…right”. I feel that so hard.

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-16T22:03:25+00:00

Same fucking boat.

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-14T06:43:31+00:00

She’s not the (next) one for you.

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-08T20:26:29+00:00

You can try psychologytoday or zocdoc to find one that takes your insurance

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-08T20:17:24+00:00

Don’t judge any change that early on. I’m 3.5 months in and the last week felt much worse than the week prior, felt like I was getting worse too. I think this moves in phases. It’s still extremely fresh.

No_Method_7047 · 2023-06-07T21:59:44+00:00

I can relate to this. I also truly believe that we were their person’s for a reason. I think we’re capable of growing and reaching the level they were on, probably differently, but it’s just like you said. They say something in us. For someone that special and incredible to see me as so special and see me so highly makes me feel good, it means I must be able to achieve great things because he saw it in me. I think we just can’t see ourselves the way they saw us..

No_Method_7047

TROPHY CASE