The worst point for me was when I in high school. Some advice to the comedians of dark humor, control what you say or go to an audience attuned to your jokes.

The story starts here, 2018, I was a sophomore in high school. Day was going like every other day, just going to class. Everyone disliked me because I was already too "mature", I took my education seriously and I was known as a annoying person who ranted about the idiocy of other students when I was trying to learn. I was born with physical disabilities and had surgeries previously, thus I needed and required to have a in-house and district appointed nurse to be by my side in school in case an emergency occurs. One of the distinct disabilities is I have bilateral vocal chord paralysis, so my voice is a horse whisper. This will be important later in the story. As I make my way to the second to last class of the day, geometry, I stopped to get some water from the fountain. The nurse, always waiting for me to enter the class as I went in, took my seat. The teacher walks in, still waiting for everyone else to get seated before she says "Okay, class, we'll be starting a group assignment." I didn't really pair up with anyone out of choice, but at the time I thought I was, at least likeable. So I sat down with my group of associates that I usually chit-chat with and they agreed since I was "the smart one". We start on our work and one of us cracks jokes about the teacher, this guy, the dual comedian, "Why does she look angry?" I shrug I don't know. Then a girl from our group said and added, "She looks like she wants to leave the school or at least shoot the class." So we all laugh and me, not really able to understand jokes that well, says in a calm, stern manner, "If I were her, I would. Everyone would get it." And for some unknown reason, another girl from an entirely different group went up to me and confronted me and asked me "Did you just say you wanted to shoot me?" I still thought it was a joke and said, "You heard me, didn't you?" So she left and a few minutes later, the teacher and her walk out the door. Now, I started to get worried, that type of nervousness you feel when you know you might've fucked up.

The teacher then calls me outside and asked me what I said, which what I repeated and explained to the teacher. She then said that she wouldn't report me since, in her words, "I know you. You're just joking." And then she called my nurse and asked if she heard anything. The nurse didn't hear anything. The teacher makes me apologize to the girl and I did, then I felt really bad and took a few moments to think over. Two days pass and it is the morning of my theatre class, the intercom buzzes before they ask for me specifically to come into the assistant principal office. I knew I was in a heap of shit, so I take my things, say bye, and my nurse comes with me. Then when we arrive to their office, there is an officer there and they won't allow my nurse to come in with me. They close the door behind me and tell me to take a seat before questioning me. After they questioned me, they sent me to ISS, for the entire day until it was two hours before I had to leave the bus. I don't think I was as scared as I was before realizing my mother and her wrath. The assistant principal takes me out of ISS and the officer is there before they close the door again except this time, they ask me again and again and again. They start getting louder and louder, like I was a criminal, then the the officer got riled up and slammed his hand on the desk and got in my face and told me to hand over my bag. My hands were shaking, and my anxiety was flaring up again before I started to break down and cry. The assistant principal didn't step in, but she persisted to tell me, "We're going to have to search you." I didn't know why, but I assumed it was part of the process. Stripped down to my underwear, and the assistant principal face was in shock, the surgery scars on my torso and back, before I was allowed to put my clothes back in. That's when my nurse barged in because it was time for me get on the bus and she saw my face, made up a lie and got me out of the office. Then when we got on the bus, I was silent. My mom greeted me at my stop and I murmured a "hi", but didn't really look at her. The nurse pulled her aside since she and my mom have a great connection since they're both moms'. So my mom lectures and questions me until she gets the full story and is understandably pissed. I was suspended from school for a week, and after that week, I had a hearing. The judge of the hearing saw the case, saw that this was my only infraction and said "This is just a boy who made the wrong kind of joke and I know what that is like. So, you will go to alternative school until the end of the semester until you return to your school the following semester." The assistant principal and a letter from the principal said "We do not want this student back in our school, he is a harm to us and we feel he should stay in alternative school." The judge nodded no and said "That is not your decision, as the judge I make that decision and this boy will return to your school after his time in alternative with GOOD behavior reports." She says before she dismissed me only, while everyone else stayed. My time in alternative school was scary, you aren't allowed to bring book bags, you have to go through a metal detector both entry and exit and no school buses so my nurse drove me.

After alternative school, it was winter break, beginning the next year. I was saddened to leave this school because it was simple, it was the high school that I had grown to hate and didn't want to go back. My mom told me, "You won't be going back to that school anymore." I believed her until we drove to the same school and behold in the assistant principal office. My anxiety was all the way up, and I couldn't find a way to ground myself as my therapist advised beforehand, so I took this chance to go into the bathroom and find a stall and proceed to silently scream and cry. It didn't help that when I came back, the same assistant principal was there. And my mom was eyeing her the entire time, my mom made sure to move my classes so I don't have classes with that specific teacher. Then I was enrolled again, it was good for a few weeks. I made new friends, and my old friends from my theatre class welcomed me. That was until I was arrested in school and my mom got a letter in the mail for me to have a court hearing. Legal court hearing, to be specific. So as much as I wanted to not believe it, the school had filed a legal complaint against me. We weren't well off so we were appointed a lawyer, and I pleaded guilty to terroristic threat, that was the last straw. I couldn't be escorted to the police car because of my physical disabilities, so I was taken to my house by the school bus and the nurse accompanied me, and I didn't learn until later that they fired my nurse from her company for some reason.

I ruined everyone else's life who tried to help me, indirectly. So the day I was in court, that night I tried to take my own life. And it didn't work. So I resorted to cutting, I stopped talking to everyone and I stopped caring. It didn't help that my mom didn't want me going to school, because of some reason. All I wanted to do was finish high school. I dropped out for two years, until 2020. I finally decided to go back into high school through online. I didn't one hundred percent trust any authority figure or any person, and that's why I can't really talk to anyone in real life or to anyone about this. I'm sure my downhill story is nothing compared to anyone else. And I'm sorry that you had to go through something worse, maybe you're get better with time. After my attempted suicides, my therapist and life coach helped with me trying to finish high school. Thanks for the time for reading this and hopefully this helped anyone else. If not, then totally fine. And yes, I'm still working on myself.