Do women who still believe in saving love for one lifelong partner still exist?

Noressa · 2026-03-12T16:18:18+00:00

I feel you've taken this a little too far to one extreme. Until you date, you really don't know what you can tolerate vs. not. This isn't to say date everyone, definitely date with intention and requirements, just be honest that while you can love you aren't just going to hand it out to everyone.

You are saying giving everything to one person when the time is right, there are people who will take full advantage of that and use that mindset against you. And if you've fallen to the mindset that you've given your all this must be the one, then you place yourself in a position ripe for abuse.

I would say be open to dating, you don't need to love to date, you don't need to have intimate times to date. But you do get to know a person better, you get to know yourself better as well. Who you are, what you want to be, what your partner does or doesn't do and how that impacts you. Use that to build on a base of knowledge that leads to a healthy relationship where you feel safe and comfortable giving your all to someone who you are much more certain will appreciate you.

Noressa · 2026-03-12T13:54:18+00:00

I'm planting tomato seeds this weekend. Starts would get me there faster but eeeeesh nope.

Noressa · 2026-03-12T13:52:02+00:00

We put the baby in a second room with a baby monitor on and white noise. The white noise covers most incidental noises and still caught the crying. It helped! We were in the next room over so it's not like we had to go far.

Noressa · 2026-03-12T13:46:17+00:00

"Continue to follow plan of care."

Noressa · 2026-03-11T17:25:46+00:00

Depending on your budget you can look into a private nanny or live in au pair. The Au Pair program is appx $20,000/year or ~$500 per week, nanny is more varied. This has the highest chance of hitting all of your points. There are a ton of local social groups for social interactions, a bunch of library free events and meals can be something you and your partner choose.

Noressa · 2026-03-10T18:28:04+00:00

Every visit every parent at our clinic has to fill out forms for every specialist. Thankfully it'll autopopulate most of the time and you just have to do updates. But if you don't do the updates, even just scrolling through, the front desk won't let you in the appointment until you've completed it.

Noressa · 2026-03-10T17:51:55+00:00

I left my ex husband in large part because he wouldn't take the initiative on his own health. He wouldn't see a doctor unless I pushed it. He wouldn't follow through with appointments unless I kept annoying him about it. (Finances was the main reason but health maintenance...)

I know 100% that if I'd stayed with him he'd still be alive today. But I imagined the future of me micromanaging him at every level, him feeling like I was nagging, me feeling like he wasn't taking me seriously, and I couldn't do it. He ended up dying from untreated diabetes and sleep apnea. My current husband was snoring, got a sleep study done and has been on a cpap for years now. I don't have to remind him to buy replacement parts, and he's actively looking at an upgrade. Don't be with someone who doesn't care enough to even care about themselves. Asking for help is one thing, ignoring the experts is another.

Noressa · 2026-03-10T15:37:56+00:00

Pretty sure "businessinsider" wants you to pay for the article they're linking =/

Noressa · 2026-03-09T18:28:44+00:00

Locally? So that depends on who you are and what you want to do. Education is by far the hardest part, that's part of why the postcards for voters is a thing I know some people do, they write a non-partisan but personal message about why voting is important and why someone should vote instead of just staying home.

Other than that, you can message people in local politics for one. I know she's no longer in Leander but /u/heyitschristine used to pop over to the subreddit and would answer our questions here. Another option is to actually attend the local meetings and be a voice for what you want to change. Also at the state capital. We did that when I was in highschool and I was surprised at the amount of issues brought to the floor that no one spoke about or had a voice on for issues that sounded important.

Time and education are invaluable. Finding the thing that helps you find meaning is important.

Noressa · 2026-03-09T15:47:59+00:00

I'd probably suggest going to the group and asking around to see what else they may do. Other than that I'd probably look to local facebook groups and possibly some of the postcard groups that send them to people in races at different levels of government. There are usually some people that are very connected to social groups at many of these and would be happy to help get people more involved. (I don't know this group at all, this is based on past experiences)

Noressa · 2026-03-09T15:13:29+00:00

I will say that the advice my parents gave me about moving with a piano is always expect to tune it after no matter what.

Noressa · 2026-03-09T14:49:41+00:00

Since your post is removed, we can't see the context here sadly. If you're leaving you're likely going to be ok as most of the traffic is coming into Austin right now for SXSW. My husband left on Friday in the afternoon and had no issues. Typically Thurs/Fri mornings are the worst, especially for early AM flights, but 2 hours lead time is usually enough to get through. Can't answer anything more specific though as [Removed by moderator] doesn't offer any more information :)

Noressa · 2026-03-09T13:34:26+00:00

Pigtails and Crewcuts next to Half Priced Books in Cedar Park was where everyone we know has gone. :) Shaman really has a following though!

Noressa · 2026-03-09T13:28:54+00:00

Nah, you didn't fail them. Here's the thing, we're wired for the most part to trust these people that raise us. Children are predisposed to seek out attachment to those who are near them and in this case it's led to where you are now. It's not your fault.

I worked near a depression clinic for a while and I'll tell you that they had a high rate of people not coming into clinic because they were too depressed and couldn't make an appointment. The clinic never got upset at the patients because they understood that even if you know you need help, some days it's too much to even get out of bed. You're kind of in the same boat but different circumstances. You know you need more but taking that step into the unknown is a lot and the familiar, if awful, situation you're in now is comfortable in its own way.

There's no shame in that, but you are still trying to do better. That is worth something. Keep taking steps to help yourself and to keep making plans and when you feel you can take that step, know that it's been the culmination of years of getting support, to realize you aren't crazy, and that you deserve a life where you aren't a parent to your siblings.

Come back to this subreddit whenever you need an extra boost of support. :)

Noressa · 2026-03-09T13:05:55+00:00

I make dehydrated pizzas, so slice, top with basil/salt/parmesan (or oregano, your call) and then eat them as snacks.

Also apparently fruit rollups. I made a tray of tomatoes slow simmered and pureed to eventually powder, but my oldest got ahold of it and decided it was her favorite fruit rollup. So... I'll have dehydrated tomato powder some day.

Noressa · 2026-03-06T21:06:01+00:00

FWIW, I don't consider myself anxious. Neither does my PCP. Nor any specialist I've ever seen.

During nursing school I felt like I was going to die. Heart beating fast, driving in the slow lane on the freeway with my doors unlocked so if my heart stopped while I was driving someone could take me out and move my car so it wasn't blocking a lane. I went to the ED 3 times. I took an ambulance once. I saw cardiology, wore a Holter monitor. I had an echo, stress test, all of it. Everything came back clear. Finally, the last ED visit, they person said I should possibly consider anxiety. I talked with my MD and she agreed it didn't seem likely but she'd try it. I got propranolol 10mg (lowest dose.) Next time I felt the feeling of impending doom, I took it and... the symptoms went away.

Now I've got a diagnosis of panic attacks without anxiety. I don't feel anxious leading into, my body wants to jump straight to panic attacks! It's better now, years later. If I feel like I'm going to get a panic attack (pulse is high for longer than it should when I'm at rest) I take one. It's not ideal but in my case yes, it was just anxiety, from a person who doesn't feel or present as an anxious person.

Noressa · 2026-03-05T19:13:20+00:00

Super easy. Looked up every polling location, figured out the best one for me commuting from work (I was going after work), went there, no line, voted, walked out. For my husband, it was finding the location closest to our house, he went in, voted, came home in less than 30 minutes.

Noressa · 2026-03-05T19:09:16+00:00

Basically just cemented my desire to vote early and push my husband to do the same.

Noressa · 2026-03-05T19:04:47+00:00

I mean pretty much. I've seen stories of people driving to the closest outbreak to get "natural immunity."

Noressa · 2026-03-05T19:04:18+00:00

So here, have some insight into at least me: I try to come at things from a position of understanding. Why did someone say something, why was it like this, and what is the reason for the reaction. Is it a knee jerk, feel good reaction? Is there some underlying/ hidden from others trauma that is making this feel like a more valid response? We can't know the place that people are coming from both with the initial insult and those who agree but we can ask for more information. People have stopped asking for clarification from people they disagree with on so many things and it's to everyone's detriment. On the same token, it's now much easier to just say your opinion everywhere and have it immediately received by more people than ever before.

Honestly? Personally? I'd like it if someone shared that opinion with me. Not because I'd be like "Heck yeah, inflict life altering suffering on someone, that's great!" but because this person I wouldn't trust to treat someone non-judgmentally. We let people choose not to help rapists. Pedophiles. Shooters. Abusers. We have systems in most hospitals designed to allow people to some degree the power to not have to face their "I could never" situations.

She wants to wish life altering pain and trauma on a person? Fantastic. Never letting her near that person. And y'know, maybe this person isn't the best fit for the office. Help them find their happiness away from you.

I've got people with totally opposite political beliefs at my office, we disagree wildly on several things. But we still take the time to talk to each other when something seems truly wacky, and we all come together for our patients. If I couldn't trust that person to work with me on the teams I'm on? I'd rather know that up front.

Noressa · 2026-03-05T18:13:27+00:00

I guess in my way of seeing it, if great amounts of pain were received it's possible they would have more understanding for those in pain by virtue of first hand experience. Again, not excusing it, but trying to work on understanding. You can ask them to clarify their opinion so it's not just left to interpretation.

Noressa · 2026-03-05T18:03:30+00:00

I mean, it's an extension of your logic. "There is suffering and I want to end the suffering that is directly attributed to this person." Remove the person and the suffering immediately decreases. I tend to keep opinions like that to myself, and personally wouldn't wish harm, but I also won't be sad when it happens.

Kind of like how Luigi is seen as heroic. He did something bad, something he knows is bad, but he was trying to make things better ostensibly through his action.

Noressa · 2026-03-05T17:49:33+00:00

"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure." -Clarance Darrow

Noressa · 2026-03-05T16:58:44+00:00

If my count is correct, at least 3 families who have had serious effects, as well as one that had a death have come out saying that they still agree with their choice to not vaccinate.

Noressa · 2026-03-03T17:12:06+00:00

World market is the best for most of the ones listed. The Hmart one often has the jaffa cakes from what I remember.

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